When to stop?

[Popsicle82646]

DS aged 7 the absolute light of our lives.
No issue conceiving him, tried for our second baby last year and it was an Ectopic pregnancy at 8 weeks with a heartbeat and stuck in my right fallopian tube, resulting in emergency surgery to remove both living baby and right tube. Took a long long time to recover mentally and physically from that, it was so in expected and out of the blue..
I'm now just turned last month 36 years old, DS is now just turned 7.
We alway wanted 2 children, but I'm starting to think maybe we were only meant to have one?
We've only last month started trying again but when is the time to stop?
My age? 36?
Or first child's age 7?!
This was never what we planned but I don't want to give up, any stories of age gaps like this much appreciated 🫶🏻
Than you

Don't give up! Take some time to prepare your body for 3 months. Eat well take pre conception vitamins etc.it's absolutely worth ttc again. Plus iv found when you've planted that seed even if you try to forget about it and years go by....it always comes back that feeling. I currently can't shake it🙈 I'm 41 my dd 5 keeps asking for a sibling so iv decided to take the plunge I'm on tww I absolutely have to try for her. I get it, it's so hard. I had a mmc in April it broke me into a million pieces yet here I am again

Hi, I’m feeling really emotional today after a negative test this morning. We’re trying for our third but I’m 40 this month and it’s difficult to know when to stop trying. Was pregnant in May but miscarried at 8 weeks (miscarried before my second child too but conceived again very quickly). I know how very fortunate I am to have my 2 children but we always planned 3 so it’s a bit tough realising that it might not happen - I totally know what you mean about planting the seed @Itonlytakesone . I hope you and @Popsicle82646 are both doing ok and wish you all the luck in the world x

@wellwellwow
Oh I'm so sorry 😞 it's so tough isn't it? Are you trying again next cycle. I hope you are don't give up we are all in this together seeds planted everywhere 🙈

I'm so sorry for your loss. I just wanted to give you some examples of that age gap working out nicely in the hopes of helping.

My friend is a twin and also has a sister that is 7 years older (his parents joked about the gap being about waiting until their finances were in order then boom, naturally-conceived twins. Saying that, my friend does think there was probably difficulty conceiving/loss inbetween too that they don't want to share with him). He loves his twin brother but is closer with his sister.

My in-laws have a 6 year gap between their two children and my sister's kids have 7 years - all because of different circumstances like new partners, etc.

They just seem like regular siblings to me - squabbling but also doing silly dances together, etc. They will each have their own separate social circles and age-related activities but that's not a bad thing.

I hope this gives a bit of comfort and you have happier times ahead.

@GelatoPistacchio
Thanks for this I also have this concern my dd is 5. I just wasn't ready any earlier despite my age at 41 I know I could have probably should have done this sooner but I just found 1 child so hard she's a lot older now so finally could see myself trying to have another and she really wants a sibling