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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Why am I not getting pregnant?

26 replies

TheCornishGoodLife · 18/09/2024 15:17

We’ve been unsuccessful for 3 cycles now - I know it’s technically early days, but I’m starting to get a little worried. I naively thought it would be easier than this.

I’m doing everything right (eating well, not drinking alcohol, supplements, tracking my cycle, ovulation tests etc etc). We’re ‘doing the deed’ on all the right days (which is sometimes more tricky since my husband works shifts.. but we’ve made it work)
I’m 30 and my husband is 33, we’re both fit and well with no medical issues. I had a women’s health MOT a few months ago and all very healthy.
What can we do to help is conceive? I’m worried time is ticking!
The only thing I can attribute it to perhaps is that we’re going through a fairly stressful house move. But other than that, I don’t know what’s wrong..?
Any tips? Or anyone in the same boat? Thanks so much in advance!

OP posts:
KittyFantastica · 19/09/2024 14:53

I know it's hard, but you're right at the beginning of the journey and you might be about to find out why TTC is such a journey, and why people get so excited about finding out they're pregnant.

Starting TTC is so exciting, but the excitement can soon wear off. Keep in mind, this is a forum for people trying to conceive and the 'norm' is 1-2 years for the average, healthy couple. Those who have trouble or are worried are more likely to seek out guidance from a forum like this, therefore there will be far more threads (and people) talking about waiting years to see a positive pregnancy test. It is a very emotive thing for people, and not everyone can give reassurance when it's taken them 3-6 years to conceive. Some people never see a positive test, or discover 2 years in that they need IVF or alternative methods, so when someone comes in saying it's been three months, it can sometimes be difficult for people to be understanding.

Having said that, and it's not a fun point, but no one can really say why anyone else hasn't conceived, or what's going on in someone else's body. Sometimes there are no issues at all and it takes years. Sometimes there are underlying issues that take time to unearth, but it all takes time finding out. It's a difficult one when you feel time isn't on your side or when you're struggling with anticipation, but be prepared to be on this journey for quite a while just in case. Ignore how fast all your friends seemed to conceive. Ignore what your mum says. None of them are you and you don't need the pressure of thinking you're not going fast enough.

To provide the opposite POV, I've fallen pregnant first time we've tried every time we've tried. I've yet to have any children. Even those who don't struggle to conceive may end up struggling to keep a pregnancy, or with issues further down the line. I'm 18 weeks with pregnancy number 3 now, and hoping beyond all hope that we actually get to meet this one.

I'd say keep doing what you're doing. GPs sometimes recommend having sex every other or every two days from your period to the next one (if it arrives). You can also look for some vitamins that are particularly targeted at cycle health and egg quality too. Buckle up and have a look around the TTC threads as you can make some friends who are going through the same thing and buddy up to do the wait together. Good luck!

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