Secondary Infertility

[Littlelilo]

Hi everyone, just looking for some positive success stories from others who have suffered with secondary infertility.

My daughter has just turned 3 and my OH and I have been TTC now for over 14 months. I have had all the blood work and my results came back normal. My husband has been told the waiting list for his semen analysis is 16-20 weeks, does anyone know if that sounds about right? Our fertility referral came through this week and that is a 30 week wait for a telephone consultation.

I’m finding the whole process deflating, upsetting and my anxiety is through the roof. Does anyone else struggle with their day to day whilst TTC #2?

Thank you in advance for any responses x

Hi @Littlelilo I'm sorry to hear you are going through this and that the waiting times are so long for you. I suffered from secondary infertility but I knew fairly early on that the issue was with me although it took a few years to be finally diagnosed with premature ovarian insufficiency and given HRT in my mid 30s.

I think it's hard to explain the sadness of not being able to have a second when you already have a child, often people seem to think you should be happy because you already have one. For me there was a lot of pain that my body wasn't able to do what it was supposed to and also of not being able to give my daughter a sibling.

Having to keep things going for my daughter helped me to keep going on a day to day basis. We decided to try IVF with donor eggs, in a way because I felt like I needed to say that I had tried everything I could before I could put it behind me and move on. We were very lucky that it worked for us although I actually didn't expect it to.

I wish you all the best and I hope you are able to get some answers soon to help you move forward.

Hey!

I am in a very similar situation. Just waiting for AF on cycle 13 for baby 2.

I agree that doesn't t sound right for the length of time for semen analysis. Could you follow up?

In case of help I've had the following tests which have all come back normal:

Day 3 and 21 progesterone
FSH/LH
Oestrogen
General red/white blood
TSH
AMH

I've also had two transvaginal scans and a hycosy and my hubby's SA was fine.

I'm 35 but started TTC number 2 a few months after turning 34. DC1 was concieved first cycle at 31.

I'm afraid I don't have a happy ending yet but what is keeping me going is knowing so many people in real life or reading online that up to 2 years has been their normal for baby 1,2 etc with no known issues. Fingers crossed our time will come 🙏

Oh sorry to add about the daily struggle - yes the first 12 months I found it all consuming. Living in 2 weeks cycles. Googling and reading to try to find answers. Now that I've passed a year I've accepted it won't happen in the 'normal' time frame for us and just pray it happens. I've started doing lots of exercise classes and so having something else to focus on and achieve has been my distraction.

I’m in London and my husband had to wait 16 weeks for his, we ended up doing the test privately to speed things along.

Thank you all for your responses, it seems secondary infertility is a lot more common than you hear about.

I will chase the semen analysis and see why the wait is so long, and I guess continue to see what happens.

It’s so frustrating for so many reasons, I’m sure you all feel the same!

Thank you again, sending well wishes to you all!

x

Hi, I’m in the same boat. My little one is almost 3 and we’ve been trying for a year now. In that time I’ve had two miscarriages and subsequent tests have shown a blood clotting issue. We’re currently in the 2WW but the whole thing is very exhausting and stressful.

Struggling for baby number 2 over here too. Have you been able to get testing through your gp? I wasn’t sure if they would if you already have a child.
I think I will give it another couple of months before looking into testing for us/try to make a gp appointment.

You're very unlikely to get nhs fertility treatment if tou have a child together. Could you run to a private assessment?

Same here. Was offered ivf but didn't feel like l could vope with the rollercoaster of it so just have one dd. I am fine with it now but took me a while to accept

It is more common than people think unfortunately.

With DD1, we fell pregnant early on the second cycle. After she was born we knew we wanted another and didn't use contraception from very early on but it took us 4 years to conceive again (I'm now 12+5). Not even a sniff of a BFP between the 2 pregnancies.

We took the path of'what will be will be' and didn't seek medical intervention as we wouldn't qualify for ivf where we are. We also weren't tracking for the full 4 years as it just became to all-consuming and stressful.

It was a huge surprise when it finally did happen - i'm 41!

You're not alone. Took 3 years to conceive my daughter. 1.5 years into trying for second with no success. I would definitely pay for a private semen analysis if you can to speed up the process? We gave up on trying to get one on the NHS. Almost a year after requesting one we've not been offered one. Have had to pay for a few private ones in that time. I've had pelvic ultrasound on the NHS and paid for female fertility bloods through Randox. It was worth it to find out I have very low iron levels which I'm hoping will make at least some difference. I was all set for going down the IVF route but I've got this feeling it won't work because we've got known male factor fertility issues. Going to try to work on those instead. I feel like so many IVF cycles must not work because male factor isn't investigated enough. Happy to chat any time as I know how hard this is. ❤️

Thank you everyone for your responses. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone.

AF arrived today and I’m gutted. My gynaecology appointment has come through for a few weeks time and I’m going to look into the private tests for my husband.

Another month down in this journey 😔

Hello, yes my GP has been great so far. Started our process back in June. So started my blood tests in July and August. My referral came through about two weeks ago where I had to complete and application for an app.

I’m really sorry you’re struggling, it’s so shit having to deal with this.
With our first, it took about 18 months before we got our bfp, who’s now 3yo. This time around (currently 15 weeks) it took 2.5 years, couldn’t believe it took even bloody longer this time 😂 unfortunately we had no help from our gp, apparently in our trust, once you have one, you’re on your own.
I found it different this time around mainly because I felt a sort of guilt over being caught up in feeling sad about not falling pregnant, because I should just be grateful for having our son already and for having so much luck in our lives already, if that makes sense?
I have PCOS and that’s what we ‘blame’ (as such!) for all the issues we had and last time went v v low carb then fell pregnant a few months later, and this time went lowish carb (harder with a busy toddler!) and took myo-inositol and then fell pregnant a couple of months later. This may all be completely irrelevant but just in case!
Just sending love and solidarity and hopefully(!) a bit of hope!! I hope it happens for you too!

Thinking of you all and sending love and baby dust.
We took 19 long months to conceive #1 (male factor, morphology).

On cycle 8 of trying for #2 and not hopeful.
Its exhausting, draining, and stressful.
I'm lucky that life is busy: DS1 is a livewire; work, home and social life is busy with stuff always going on which keeps me going.

Its hard tho - every month is a dissapointment, as the months go on I worry that the gap is getting bigger and as time goes on more and more other people are getting pregnant around me.

Sorry this has turned into a bit of a ramble! I guess at the moment I've reached the point of acceptance....it probably will take ages/might never happen 🤷🏻‍♀️