Losing hope, anyone else 40+

[Lopst23]

Well ladies as the title says I am 41 and am seriously losing hope.
I have tried and failed for over 6 cycles now, I know some are trying a lot longer but I feel time is very much not on my side.
I got pregnant ridiculously easy in my 20s, once even on the pill. Twice from only BD once that month.
I have tried vitex, soya isoflavones, vitamin b complex, macca and a list of other supplements/vitamins. I have had accupuncture, I track my cycle religiously. We BD all the "right" days.
I had one BFP in March, very light but started my AF that evening so I don't know whether it was chemical or just a dud test.
Every month I am so hopeful, this month I had serious nausea from 7 dpo even throwing up. Then food aversions and off my coffee. I was quietly excited. But last night 4 days before AF is due I spotted a little as normal. I could have cried. But I am just too numb. Tested this morn at 10 dpo with a 10mui IC and BFN, not even a hint of a line
Partner is one of those if it's meant to be it will be type of people so fertility testing or treatment is not an option.
I am devastated. I really thought this was my month 😭😭

Any success stories from over 40s or anything else i should be trying??

Have you used hertility health ?

150 gbp

Tests bloods day 3

Looks at your amh // ovarian reserve
And many other things

I highly recommend

I know you talked about your partner and said fertility testing not an option ( for him )
But you could use HH

Its also good to get NHS gp to test your b12 - vit d and feretin
Good in all 3 are needed

https://hertilityhealth.com/

After age 40 there are hardly any eggs left, so it's really not surprising that you found it much easier to get pregnant in your 20s.

I know quite a few women that have had babies over the age of 40 without assistance OP. It’s super common in London! In some cases it’s been their second child a few years after their first which I know can boost fertility. I’m assuming you already have older children? I think it can take longer at this age & not helpful to compare to your 20’s when you’re at peak fertility. The link posted by the pp looks worth checking out.

Yes very aware of this thanks

I worked for a family where the mum had a baby at 45

Also - theres always options like donor eggs etc further down the line if needed // if your open to that

Never heard of it but will check it out now thanks. I have had bloods done on day 3 which were all looking very positive and my AMH was in range for my age.

My b12, ferreting and vit d were all within normal ranges last time I was checked as I take daily vitamins but b12 and especially vitamin d had been low over the years. It would do no harm however to get checked again.

Thanks so much for your help

Hi yes I have teenagers and I knew It would be harder at this age I was just stating how frustrating it was that I found it so easy before even when I was actively trying not to fall pregnant.
I do know of quite a few ladies 35+ having babies even a few in early 40s so I know it's not impossible. Will look into this link.
Thank you

I would be but I doubt my partner would be sadly

Welcome

Also - test your progsterone 7 days after ovulation

The 4 gbp green pack ovulation tests on Amazon are good for use am and pm

Always best to go for baby dancing every other day from end of your period .

Eat fertility foods - eggs - blue berries - stawberries.
And iron rich foods.
Also 2 satsumas a day

Ive seen nhs dietician and a fertility food specialist

Spatone also is a gentle iron water - available from boots. - one a day could help

Hi, @Lopst23 sorry to hear about your struggles! I'm in the same boat: 41 in October, TTC baby #2 cycle 7, so as you can imagine I've given it a lot of thought 😅

Sadly, the laws of probability are against us after 40 (only approximately 5-10% chance of succeeding in any given cycle, even for a healthy couple. But that doesn't mean we won't succeed; I'm just trying to brace myself for a longer process!

I'm also trying supplements, soy isoflavones, the lot. And I got the ferti.lily cup and used it in the last 2 cycles... no luck yet but it seems like a sound idea, so I'll continue.

Best of luck, this may be your month!

I had a suspicion my progesterone was dropping very quickly after ovulation as I often would spot after and then again few days before AF so I started vitex which has stopped the mid cycle spotting however I do still spot a tiny bit before AF.
I will look into getting it tested.

I we currently do the every other day method but normally from just before fertile window so def could up that a bit.

Thanks again you've been so helpful

I have about the fertility cups, I'm presuming they're something similar to period cups? I had read in a few posts of women using their period cups after BD to help. I have a period cup but never used it. I wonder if I could use it.

I had read the odds as well, very depressing. Every time I read about a different supplement I think that's the difference that's going to get me my BFP which has helped keep me positive but I am running out of things to try.

I was so so sure this was my month. I never get sickness until I'm 5 or 6 weeks but it is exactly the same as I am experiencing now. As well as that metallic taste in my mouth. I will maybe test again on Wed if AF hasn't shown her face but at 10 dpo with a 10mui I'd imagine there would be some kind of line but that with the spotting makes me think I'm just out.

Baby dust to you, it's been nice to speak to someone in the same position, not that I'd wish this on anyone lol you know what I mean

I tried using preseed as it was a few months since a MC and no success. First month I used it I fell pregnant. Could be a coincidence but maybe worth a shot? Good luck! I know lots of people in their 40s who have conceived. My aunt had her first (and only child) at 46!

I also recommend randox health
30 gbp
Private progsterone test

Just a bit of hope. I started trying around forty. Nothing happened for a year. I accepted my chance has probably passed. I already had older kids with my partner so thought it wasn’t meant to be. I continued having sex without protextion ..but no trying with all the testing and temperatures etc. I fell pregnant at 42.5. It just took a long time which I was t used to as my previous kids had been conceived very quickly. So it can happen and don’t lose hope. I was just 43 when I gave birth

The book
It starts with an egg
Is very good

I bought bamboo cooking utensils off Amazon on sale for 5.99
Some people even say reduce plastic re hormones and ttc but who knows

I have actually heard of some success with this as well. Definitely worth a try. Maybe I will combine with a fertility cup, I just need to get over my fear of them getting stuck 🤣

That's great to hear you know of so many in their 40s and your aunt gives me hope

Thanks

Hi OP, don't lose hope. I am 41 and currently 10 weeks pregnant - it took a lot longer than it did first time round but it happened naturally without any medical intervention.
Even at a woman's peak, there is only a 25% chance of pregnancy each month and 'most' women will fall pregnant within a year. By the time a woman hits 40+, it's dropped to about 5% each month. Harder to conceive a healthy baby but not impossible.
6 cycles is not a long time even if it feels like it.

That's how we started, we got more lax with protection until we just stopped altogether so not trying but not preventing. Then after a few months and many discussions we decided to actively try. I think sometimes I am getting too stressed about it all, the supplements and tracking but I must say this was my most relaxed month probably due to accupuncture.

Thanks for that and congratulations. Did you use anything particular?
I know 6 months isn't long in comparison i just keep convincing myself it's happened and then the devastation hits. I think going forward I won't test until AF is late.
It's a hard balance between not stressing about it and also tracking.

Haven't quite got it yet lol

I didn't use anything in particular this time as it was very much an 'if it happens, it happens' situation although I do use the Flo app so had an idea when I was ovulating.
First pregnancy I used conceive plus lube on my ovulation week and fell pregnant very quickly. Will never know if that helped or just coincidence but took a lot longer second time round where I didn't use it. Could be worth a try?

As for testing, I never ever test before I've missed a period and I test once only. My personal thoughts but i wouldn't want to get an early BFP and then have a chemical, i'd rather not know..... and I'm bad enough with anxiety as it is without obsessing over line progression etc. It's not healthy and the stress won't help anything.

Good luck

I have never tried preseed or conceive plus lube but hear good things about both so will be trying that next cycle. Just waiting my AF now, been in angry tears all day so know it's looming.
In all my previous pregnancies I tested positive early, I didn't track then but if I was to guess I'd have been around 9 or 10 dpo each time. I have had 2 chemicals, one this year where I got my BFP and AF on the same day which was cruel and years ago I had tested early and days later AF started.
I won't be testing again until day of missed period at the earliest

Thanks