D&C tomorrow and petrified

[Joleyjojo]

Not sure why I am posting.

I am just so frightened about tomorrow. I am scared of anaesthetic I have a fear of not waking up. I’m scared of the pain after and mostly I’m so scared that it’s the end of our pregnancy. I know there are other options but the prolonged process and maybe seeing the baby is something I don’t think emotionally I could take.

I am deeply saddened that we are walking out of the women’s hospital without the baby we had planned our life around and leaving them behind.

im also frightened that I won’t get back to being myself.

sorry for the negative post but I’m trying to hold it together as I have 2 older children and be strong for everyone else.

xx

Jolyjoho, a very firm hug from me. I had a D@C last year. Please dont worry. Honestly, physically you will be fine You will wake up and you may have a bit of cramping for a few days. You may also have a bit of bleeding. I actually didnt have any but it varies a lot. Just relax, keep hydrated and recover physically in your own time. Mentally, it is harder. Not sure how far you are into your pregnancy but you will absolutely feel sad and empty. This is completely normal. Your hormones may also limit quite quickly so be prepared to feel emotional and for your feelings to be a bit all over the place.
On average it takes roughly six weeks for your next period to arrive after but this can be shorter or longer and you are likely to ovulate again first!

It is hard and I see you have two other children to care for so you wont get as much rest and relaxation as you should allow yourself but you will, hopefully therefore have a lot to keep your mind occupied and when the mental pain and sadness of what has happened does hit you then know that you are very much not alone and there a lot more of us out here than the NHS would have us believe!
I wish you a good recovery.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I had a D&C last year and I was terrified but the procedure itself was fine. I went into hospital at 7am and left to go home just before midday. There was no real pain, a little bit of cramping after and a bit of bleeding for around a week but it was all very quick and ‘simple’. Obviously the emotional side is different, allow yourself to grieve and take the support offered when you feel ready.

I hope it all goes as well as it can do x

The procedure is really as pain-free as it can be. You will possibly wake with "heavy' period like crampng, By time you get home that will have eased

Its the mental pain thats hard to get through, so give yourself time to grieve, not just a week or so, but expect it to come now and then as the years go on and circumstances change. Im not saying that you are going to have years of constant grief, what Im saying is that for me, now and then, memories of that time surface, and I am taken back to that time

I had a D&C in May 2022 and there was no one more terrified about it than me, I worried about every aspect of it and read endless Mumsnet threads.

As everyone else had said, the actual procedure was absolutely fine and I had very little bleeding afterwards.

I read a thread on here that said physically it was fine but mentally they struggled and I thought I’d be ok as soon as the operation was over with but they were right, mentally I found it a little difficult.

So all in all, the procedure was absolutely fine but mentally I struggled for about 6 months (probably until the due date had passed). I still get upset now but nothing like I did earlier. Just be gentle with yourself

Good luck for today ❤

@Joleyjojo I'm so sorry for your loss, sending lots of love and strength your way 💐

Thinking of you today!

Thank you everyone. I am back home hot water bottle clean sheets new Pjs. The team were so good with me and really put my mind at ease.
I found coming out of the general quite traumatic I woke up with tears streaming asking where my baby was because I had just had a C-section. The confusion lasted no more than 10 minutes but it was scary.
I am going to rest, recover and think we are going to go away for a few days next week.
I have to say I am definitely in more pain than I expected.
I am now under tommys and the baby is going to go for testing as I have had 2 x MC in a row. They counted the CP.

thanks again to you all x

You are doing great, seriously you are

I came too whilst they were removing my tube and I was screaming and calling my partner all the bastards under the sun, yet he was so supportive and stood by me even though we had different wants from the situation

The physical eases really quite quickly, I can remember after an early night ( when I never even felt tired and didnt sleep much at all ) I felt physically well come morning and was getting ratty with DP and wishing he would piss off and let me work through it

You wil get by this. Its not easy for sure and as Ive said earlier up thread, Ive managed to beat myself up a few times since, Only I know at the time it was right and thats what gets me through, Im not that woman 30 years back. I did what was right for me at that time

Go easy on yourself. Take a few days to get through the physical. The mental will take time, esp if you werent 100% sure, but seriously, you will be fine xxxxx

I am glad that you had a good team and going away for a few days will help you to rethink and recover from the experience. I hope you will recover soon physically and I am happy to see that you are under Tommys. I hope you will get the answer soon. Please take care of yourself and I will be thinking of you. 💙

So sorry for your loss. I too had an ERPC - went under heartbroken, came around heartbroken. Physical pain was fine, but mentally it was the worst I felt and have felt. Take time to recover and grieve. Xox

So glad you are safely back home safe and well. X