Self insemination while TTC - looking for people trying this too!

[Waitingformiracle]

Hi Ladies, I'm a long time lurker on MN but first time actually signing up and getting involved in chats. We are TTC#1 after a sad loss at 18 weeks this summer. My DH suffers from delayed ejaculation and the pressure really gets to him especially since the loss, he feels a huge amount of pressure, so we have been trying self insemination. I read a lot of posts from a great group on here from a few years back and it seems that a lot of them eventually got their babies so I'm feeling hopeful but I would love to chat to other people who are in the same boat

Hello, I'm in a same sex marriage situation so not quite the same but we self inseminate at home. My best friend is our sperm donor. Is there anything you want to know?
Lots of luck to you 😊

Thanks for your reply Cado! How have you been getting on with it? Do you use the syringe or soft cup method? I'm just really looking to chat with people doing the same thing and hearing how they get on

Welcome! Me and my other half do home artificial insemination as he finds it hard to finish. Happy to answer any questions. We've got pregnant twice, sadly had missed miscarriages both times x

We use a syringe, specifically a "lube launcher" from Amazon which I'd never heard of until we started reading about ttc. It's a long syringe with a rounded tip and find it much more comfortable than normal syringes. It goes quite far inside which must help.
Our general method is to allow the sample 10 mins or so to sit and liquify then inseminate using the syringe and lie down with legs in the air for 15 mins after (mixed reviews whether it helps or not but it can't hurt I reckon).
We have had success twice this year, although both ended in mc. Currently on cycle 2 since last mc.

I'm so sorry for your losses. It's terribly hard I have been there myself. Which method do you use? I have been using a syringe that I got on Amazon which seems to work well, but I also read a lot of success stories about the soft disks and we actually ran out of syringes today lol so I tried one of the disks which was.. interesting!

I'm so sorry for your losses @CadoAvo too! Thank you for sharing. I have read a lot about the "liquifying" but I'm not sure I totally understand it. We have just been inserting it as soon as possible but maybe that's where we are going wrong

Thank you. To be honest I'm not quite sure why we do it, probably just something that I've read. However works for us as the donor does his thing and then we chat for 10 mins or so before going upstairs. He mentions it about it being "thick" when it comes out but by the time we get up there it's liquidy and no problems getting it in the syringe etc.

The thing I hate the most about the process though, is the semen making its way back out over the next few hours. I haven't slept with a man in over 10 years so not sure if it's normal for straight couples to experience this with sex! I did put in a period cup one time after insemination, this stopped anything leaking but then emptying wasn't loads of fun haha.

I have been curious about the soft cup method but not looked too much into it. Our first pregnancy was conceived on the first proper cycle (it was actually the 2nd but I knew I had missed ovulation so we called it a practice run) so don't really want to change too much since I know what's worked for us in the past.

Would like to know more about your experience with the soft cup?

Also just seen you've ran out of syringes and made me worry now I'm doing it wrong haha. We have the "lube launcher" which we wash and sterilise after every use. This is what it looks like.

@CadoAvo so I'm not sure how much I'm loving the soft cup 🤣 it's a bit awkward to get up there, but basically he puts his "sample" in the soft cup and then I put it in. Apparently it sits closer to your cervix and can keep sperm up there. But I get a bit panicked that it's going to get stuck in there, so I think I prefer the syringes! I've tried both this cycle so let's see.

Those lube launchers look interesting and great you can reuse them. I have been using these syringes and you can't really clean them so I just end up throwing them away.

I hear you about the spillage, even though I sleep with men I still find it gross. I also find it makes it harder to tell when you have EWCM!

Have you been trying for long?

@Waitingformiracle we use the syringe method - the method itself is good for us, simple, and takes stress out of sex. I'm not sure how I feel about the cups to be honest...I can't even get on with a moon cup for my period! 🙈

@moosey89 yeah this was our first cycle trying the soft discs and I'm not sure on them 🤣🙈 so scared of it getting stuck

You need to wait for it to liquify. At least 10mins. Use sperm friendly lube. And obviously track your ovulation and take all the vitamins. I conceived twice this way, one MC and one baby (now toddler). I used syringes and then legs in the air.

back then there was a whole group of us on mumsnet updating each other on progress and methods. But this was a few years ago.

@HaveYouSeenRain thank you for the tips!! It's amazing to hear from someone who has a toddler as a result of this! I actually think I saw that whole thread of ladies discussing it from a few years ago.

Hi hope you don't mind me joining. I've been hoping to get my partner to try this because he has a low sex drive already but the pressure around ovulation means he often can't perform. If I don't tell him when ovulation is we aren't likely to be intimate so I have to make him aware.

So far he hasn't been open to home insemination. I think the idea hurts his self esteem. We've been TTC 12 months and have known fertility issues but we have frequently missed our window or not BD enough because of this issue (usually only once each window). I think this is contributing to our difficulties.

Any advice on how to delicately suggest it again would be appreciated because I'm finding it really difficult waiting a month for an opportunity and then just missing it again. Thank you

@Nessie2395 welcome!! Sorry to hear about your struggles. I also found it a bit tricky to try and bring this up without hurting my husband's feelings, but like you we were missing our key days and it was adding so much extra stress to an already situation. I slowly started bringing it up to my husband telling him I had been reading online from so many women who were using this approach to take the pressure off so that sex can just been for fun and a nice experience and not a pressured thing, I kind of approached it like "I'm trying to preserve sex as a fun thing". Then I actually just went ahead and ordered all of the syringes and pots etc so that when my fertile window came around and we were trying to BD and my husband was having issues I said "ok well today is a key day and I do have these if you want to finish in one of the pots on your own" and then he just was happy to do it and we haven't really looked back because he realised how much pressure it took off him!