Extremely nervous now we are actively trying for a child.

[Avawint]

My partner and I have recently agreed to begin actively trying for our first child. Since it has been agreed, I feel so nervous when we are intimate and I end up actively ensuring his sperm doesn’t go inside of me. This is purely from nerves of it becoming real. We have been together for 7 years, we are financially stable, happily together and I do want a child with him. There’s just something so scary about the unknown and bringing a life into the world! Has anyone else felt the same & how did you overcome it?

Hi @Avawint are you sure you want a baby

Try to relax :) this is supposed to be a beautiful journey, if everything goes well

That's cheerful, @OliviaO !

Maybe you're not as ready as you thought you were?
I won't say "relax" , because it's corny and also when people say it, it has the opposite effect! However, maybe distract yourself from the idea of conception, if you can.

I’m definitely ready and we planned this and have spoken about it a lot as it’s a huge step. I suppose it’s the idea of introducing non-safe sex along with that I read 20% of relationships fail after having a child. We are ready for a child, I just really worry that we will be changing our relationship and becoming parents too when we are both happy as we are (but also want children!). I keep being told by family that no one is ever fully ready. Another worry is that I have been in positions where I should have likely got pregnant, and never did, or I’ve had a positive test and then bled a day or so later. It’s likely also that I don’t want to face my fertility fears.

There's a lot to unpack there. Talk to your partner about your anxiety. Also, don't turn it into a project with apps and ovulation sticks just yet. Try to ease yourself into the mindset.

could you speak to someone about your anxiety?

a baby changes your relationship dramatically and there is no way to really tell how until your in it to be honest. you can discuss in advance with your partner how your set up might work in terms of feeds, support etc but then it can change in reality depending on the baby!

An odd comment.

Maybe OP doesn't want a child and that's perfectly normal. OP, you need to ask yourself if you feel you have to do this because society expects you to, your husband wants a child, or do you actually want to have a baby?

Sorry OP I just saw your latest update so it seems you want a child but have lots of fears.
Maybe a few counseling sessions would help you settle them?