Perimenopause and absent period

Coloursinthesky · 2024-08-23T15:00:56+00:00

I've just turned 42. I stopped breastfeeding last year and since I got my periods, they've been all over the place. We have two small kids and are open to another but in an 'if it happens, great, if not, that's fine' kind of way but have been using condoms up until recently. The other two kids were conceived as soon as we started trying (aged 2 and 5), back when my cycles were bang on. They have gone from 28 days each month to anything from 22 to 35. I'm not currently tracking ovulation (if I'm even ovulating) as I want to keep things quite low stress for now, so this question is more out of curiosity than anything else. I am currently on cycle day 45, which is a record for me. I've no idea if I ovulated, but I got extremely weird, rubbery ewcm on cd 27. It was like a solid mass of jelly which i remember getting in my teens. I've taken 3 pregnancy tests, the most recent being yesterday and they were all very negative. What are the chances of conceiving so late in the cycle like this? I'm really just wondering. Is it possible I didn't ovulate? Has anyone ever conceived at the tail end of such a long cycle? As I said, if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. We are open to more but won't be devastated if it doesn't happen, and if the menopause happens instead, that's OK too (family history of early menopause). I just feel a bit frustrated not knowing what's going on inside as my body was like clockwork before! So, any ideas? Thanks!

Original poster

Coloursinthesky · 23/08/2024 19:07

Any other perimenopausal ladies stuck in limboland have any advice?

OP posts:

sel2223 · 24/08/2024 15:38

I'm 41 with a 4 year old and my cycles have always been like clockwork if a little on the longer side (31-33 days).
As soon as I hit 40, that all changed. My cycles stayed getting longer and longer each month and settled around 45 days.
I had my daughter at 37 and we said the same about if it happens, it happens but for 4 years not even a sniff of a BFP
I didn't track ovulation and we didn't particularly 'try', more we just didn't use anything to prevent it. I can't even say if I ovulate every month or not.
i did at least once though as I'm now 9 weeks pregnant so it definitely can happen even if your Peri. I didn't even test till 54 days as I am now so used to the long, irregular cycles.
I've had a couple of early scans and I'm 2 weeks behind the LMP date which is because I ovulated late. Hoping it sticks

Blahblahblah245 · 25/08/2024 10:23

Hey, I can totally relate. I’m 41 (just turned) though my 3rd and last baby is almost 4. This month I had a 31 day cycle, when I’m normally around 25 days. I’d love another but with family history of early menopause I’m doubting it’s likely! The not getting a period when you expect one is really tricky and I find it hard not to get hopes up too! Just wanted you to know you’re not alone! Xx

Original poster

Coloursinthesky · 25/08/2024 14:34

sel2223 · 24/08/2024 15:38

I'm 41 with a 4 year old and my cycles have always been like clockwork if a little on the longer side (31-33 days).
As soon as I hit 40, that all changed. My cycles stayed getting longer and longer each month and settled around 45 days.
I had my daughter at 37 and we said the same about if it happens, it happens but for 4 years not even a sniff of a BFP
I didn't track ovulation and we didn't particularly 'try', more we just didn't use anything to prevent it. I can't even say if I ovulate every month or not.
i did at least once though as I'm now 9 weeks pregnant so it definitely can happen even if your Peri. I didn't even test till 54 days as I am now so used to the long, irregular cycles.
I've had a couple of early scans and I'm 2 weeks behind the LMP date which is because I ovulated late. Hoping it sticks

Edited

Oh wow! This was so encouraging to read! Congratulations!

OP posts:

Original poster

Coloursinthesky · 25/08/2024 14:35

Blahblahblah245 · 25/08/2024 10:23

Hey, I can totally relate. I’m 41 (just turned) though my 3rd and last baby is almost 4. This month I had a 31 day cycle, when I’m normally around 25 days. I’d love another but with family history of early menopause I’m doubting it’s likely! The not getting a period when you expect one is really tricky and I find it hard not to get hopes up too! Just wanted you to know you’re not alone! Xx

Thank you. It is really confusing and in some ways I'm considering just preventing or asking my husband to get the snip as the constant am i/aren't I is exhausting.

OP posts:

Original poster

Coloursinthesky · 26/08/2024 16:12

Does anyone know if you skip a period, do you need to wait for a bleed in order to start a new cycle and ovulate, or could you just ovulate again on the day you would have ovulated had you got your period when you were supposed to? I'm now CD43 and had some ovulation style pains this morning and it's exactly when I would have ovulated if I had not missed my period. Any ideas?

OP posts:

Khanny · 13/10/2024 20:16

sel2223 · 24/08/2024 15:38

I'm 41 with a 4 year old and my cycles have always been like clockwork if a little on the longer side (31-33 days).
As soon as I hit 40, that all changed. My cycles stayed getting longer and longer each month and settled around 45 days.
I had my daughter at 37 and we said the same about if it happens, it happens but for 4 years not even a sniff of a BFP
I didn't track ovulation and we didn't particularly 'try', more we just didn't use anything to prevent it. I can't even say if I ovulate every month or not.
i did at least once though as I'm now 9 weeks pregnant so it definitely can happen even if your Peri. I didn't even test till 54 days as I am now so used to the long, irregular cycles.
I've had a couple of early scans and I'm 2 weeks behind the LMP date which is because I ovulated late. Hoping it sticks

Edited

Hi sorry to bother you, I was just wondering what made you think you might be pregnant with your long and irregular cycles? I’m 43 and have been TTC for over 4 years with not even a sniff of a positive either sadly. My cycles are really long and irregular now though, I’ve not bled since July and that was a bad one. I’m anaemic due to the amount of blood and clots I lost. The last few days I have been feeling so tired and a little ‘off’ but I’m not sure what ‘off’ I feel. Also had some light headedness today too and a few days of low cramping as if AF might be on her way but that’s stopped now. If I had sore and tender boobs I might be tempted to buy a test but they’re not! TIA x

sel2223 · 14/10/2024 05:00

Khanny · 13/10/2024 20:16

Hi sorry to bother you, I was just wondering what made you think you might be pregnant with your long and irregular cycles? I’m 43 and have been TTC for over 4 years with not even a sniff of a positive either sadly. My cycles are really long and irregular now though, I’ve not bled since July and that was a bad one. I’m anaemic due to the amount of blood and clots I lost. The last few days I have been feeling so tired and a little ‘off’ but I’m not sure what ‘off’ I feel. Also had some light headedness today too and a few days of low cramping as if AF might be on her way but that’s stopped now. If I had sore and tender boobs I might be tempted to buy a test but they’re not! TIA x

Show quote history

Hey, sorry you've been going through this for so long.
With both my pregnancies, I didn't really have any 'early' symptoms. It just felt the same as if AF was about to arrive but she never did.
On this occasion, I decided to buy a test on day 54 because I started to get sore boobs the day before then that morning, I had to run out of breakfast to be sick (I was on holiday!). After that, I just knew.

I'm now over 16 weeks and having a relatively good pregnancy so far - sending positive energy and baby dust that it will happen for you soon!