40, TTC and planning a wedding

[niairin]

Just looking for some advice, I'm 40 and had my coil removed in May to start TTC. We are getting married in September 2025. Obviously it's a lot going on, but that's just how life worked out. I'm just trying to figure out if I should skip TTC a few cycles, and which cycles, etc., if anyone has any experience or advice? I'm really not bothered about being big/tired etc. at the wedding, it'll be a quiet affair and I'll enjoy it either way, but just trying to be realistic.

It’s not only tiredness OP. What if you have awful sickness, HG etc?

Honestly at your age I wouldn't wait. You could calculate backwards and skip 1 or 2 cycles so you're not due at the wedding date, if it does happen for you. If it's small, do you not have the option to move it sooner so it's out the way?

I have children and had them late. Honestly 40 is very late.

baby first
everything else inc wedding second.

i would not be wasting 1 cycle.

my children at the greatest things i have ever done

Congrats, exciting times for you.
Unless you are lucky to be able to to get pregnant easily, I suggest you start trying as after 40 likelihood of conception is low, while likelihood of miscarriage is high.
The wedding planning stresses could also be a contributing factor.

Best of luck in both journeys

At your age I would not let a chance pass. You may have already ovulated your last genetically viable egg, or you may do so any time soon. Or you may conceive with ease and have a healthy baby. It's impossible to say. But I would not be shortening my odds by skipping months.

Just try for the baby asap if that is what you really want. A wedding can take pace at any time once the baby has arrived. You really donlt need the stress of planning a wedding if you are TTC or pregnant for reasons pp have stated.

At your age (sorry to be blunt) you can't afford to wait or put even a month off TTCing.

Hello

Congratulations! I was in a similar position to you, 40, trying for a baby and with my wedding booked.
As other posters have said I would not skip any cycles and prioritise the baby. I had a miscarriage the first time I conceived so ended up taking over a year to conceive my baby (now 1). I debated whether to TTC for the 2 months where the due date of the baby would have been around the date of the wedding. (In fact I posted here on Mumsnet and got advice to continue TTC). In the end I am glad I continued as I conceived the second of these months, and I brought the wedding forwards 1 month (it was actually easier than I expected to do this and nobody charged us extra). So I got married at 8 months pregnant. I had an easy pregnancy so was perfectly comfortable at 8 months (think I was probably
lucky here) at the wedding, and I didn’t do anything differently (other than buy a new dress and not drink champagne!)

Best of luck!

If it's a small intimate wedding I wouldn't worry about being pregnant at it at all. If it's just a small one, couldnt you just bring it forward rather than wait a year? I started trying just after I'd turned 40 and I'm now 37 weeks pregnant, age 44 after losses and long periods of no success TTC. I would just prioritise the baby making at this stage, a wedding is almost guaranteed but a baby isn't. Good luck!

Thank you so much for the honest (and blunt!) advice. Just wanted reassurance my gut is correct, which is to go with TTC and deal with wedding issues if and when I am lucky enough to conceive.

We are feeling positive about our future with or without baby, and realistic about the process, but obviously want to maximize chances :-)

I’d try OP - I’m 33 and have had 2 miscarriages and have realised now that planning for the future is just not a thing as you just don’t know what will happen. Wishing you lots of luck!

I wouldn't wait at your age, maybe skip the cycle that would mean you would literally be due at the wedding if nothing happens by then, you can plan around anything else