Feeling low from a rollercoaster TTC journey

[Figtree11]

Been TTC a first baby for just over 1 year. In that time I’ve had 1 MMC and 1 partial molar pregnancy. Back to TTC now after the follow up I had to have for the partial molar.

I had been doing ok for the week since I got cleared for the molar. But today I don’t know why, I feel so low about it all. The tracking of opks & waiting for any sort of sign of ovulation, the thought of where I would be in life right now if either pregnancy had worked out. I’d either have a baby or would be just a few months away from the next due date. It all feels so overwhelming. I am consumed by it. My focus now is on getting pregnant. If that does happen, I have no idea how I will cope with how anxious I would be of it all going wrong again.

I have tried counselling through the EPU but it wasn’t for me. Not sure what I’m after really. Just felt like i needed to write it down. I just can’t believe this is my story sometimes

I know it's difficult but you can take some positivity from the fact that you are able to actually get pregnant. I too had a molar pregnancy and I ended up having 3 perfectly healthy dcs after that so don't let it bring you down. Best of luck.

I've just sent you a private message @Figtree11 as I recognise you from other posts and I feel we are in a similar boat. It is a heartbreaking journey for so many of us, you are not alone even though I know you will feel it.

Don't be afraid to give yourself some time out. I took a couple months off actively ttc as I realised since our mmc I wasn't coping. Its helped the world of good. I also am having CBT therapy which is helping me to reframe my anxieties with facts and evidence. I have a little box now where I have written some stats and positive quotes, whenever I feel wobbly I look at them.. Tommy's website states that 85% of couples will get pregnant in a year. 80% of those could go onto having healthy pregnancies. The odds are in our favour (but I also know, when you've been on the other side of those stats, it's hard to believe in them). Sending you so much love and light. Xxx

@Figtree11 I know we've interacted on a few threads - I'm sorry you're feeling so down. I'm the same, scared to get pregnant and also scared I'll not get pregnant. TTC is a horrible grey zone where we're not really in control of much and there are so many unknowns. If someone could tell me "you'll be pregnant in 8 months and have a baby from that pregnancy" I'd happily go through all the stages and wouldn't mind the waiting so much! But it's so hard to see a way forward when all we've known from the journey is heartache. You're very much not alone in how you are feeling. Sending big hugs xx

TTC 1 year now, I did not know this sort of forum existed. Tried asking my sisters who have all been pregnant and all answers have been very vague. I am the oldest so it would seem as if I should know, but I got married at 30. They got married in their 20's and had multiple children - years before I could even find a man. So it's just been hubby and I trying to figure things out. Ovulation calculator apps, just getting tests done at the doctor. Now I hear that my kidneys are low functioning. I feel like I'm constantly getting curveballs before I can even get to the batting box. 😞😞😞😞

@Happiestwhen im sorry you also experienced molar pregnancy. It’s just awful. So pleased you went on to have successful pregnancies. I hope this happens for me

@PearlCat thank you for your support via private message ❤️ x

@moosey89 I’m sorry you are feeling in a bad headspace too. I was pretty happy last week when I was cleared to TTC. But now I’m TTC again, I’m like why am I here doing this for a third time. I just keep thinking why me, it’s not fair. Agreed, when your only experience is heartbreak it’s hard to feel any sort of positivity. Sending you a big hug back x

@Dae89 I’m sorry you are having a tough time. I joined mumsnet after my first MC and it has been such a support to put my feelings out there and have others understand completely. I hope you get some answers at the doctors so you can make a plan of action moving forwards

Figtree, I'm so glad that you have been cleared to ttc after the molar. That is great news. Another hurdle that you have come through. So sorry for your losses. Best wishes to you for a successful pregnancy very soon 🌟