TTC issues, in a tough situation

[Hannahgardize]

I'm in a tough situation. I love my boyfriend more than anything and I really want more kids and he's onboard with it too. I have a 13 year old son from a previous relationship. Sadly, we recently had a miscarriage and I find out yesterday he's had 3 previous miscarriages with other people. I'm almost 39 so my fertile window is running out fast, and i don't want to waste my remaining fertile years, I really do want more kids and have been so broody but I'm starting to wonder if there is a problem with fertility on his end (it could be me as well but due to him having miscarriages with others, I'm wondering)

I really can't imagine having kids with another man, and I know my boyfriend would make a great dad. The thought of being in a new relationship with someone else is really upsetting me as well .. do i stay and keep trying with my boyfriend and it could be heartache and struggle? or I might even have to accept that we may never have kids or do i end the relationship and move on and try to detach?

Any advice?

Get him seen by fertility

Buy a SA off super drug privately

Suggest he takes wellman max and zinc

Sperm takes 2 - 3 months to change

If you love your boyfriend more than anything it wouldn't seem a sane move to give that up for a totally unknown situation on the off chance you meet someone else fast. And on the assumption the issue is him not you, or even that there is a specific issue.

Why don't you both have screening done?

Miscarriages are really common so the fact this has happened to him before doesn't mean he was the cause. However if there is an issue, quality can be improved. And if that wasn't possible, you could consider sperm donation. This is a lot of jumping ahead though.

If the roles were reversed, and you had the suspected fertility issues, would he be inclined to move on?

Worth being aware that miscarriages are sadly more common the older you get, especially as we near 40.

Before making any rash decisions why don't you both get fertility tests done?

Most miscarriages are unfortunately random chromosomal abnormalities that are neither partner's "fault". Men are slightly luckier with fertility issues than women in that they can improve their sperm quality as it regenerates every 2-3 months, so even if there was an issue there's a chance he could make it better (or you'd know if you need to look at other options).

Exactly this. Get some facts, but also miscarriages are very common, and assuming he has had miscarriage with more than 1 previous partner, doesn't seem unusual. Also be realistic with your age, and whether leaving him to find a new partner just to have a baby with is in any way a good idea.

Also, having a miscarriage and having fertility issues are not necessarily linked. I know plenty of people, including myself, who've had no issues getting pregnant, but have had miscarriages (and fortunately, successful pregnancies as well).

You already have a thirteen year old. How long do you think it will be for you to
Get over your bf
Meet a suitable guy
Introduce him to your child
Ensure they feel secure
Get pregnant.

Sorry,but I think you'd be a fool to throw a good relationship away for the chance of finding a different guy, without screwing your existing kids head up with such a quick changeover of new men, to potentially end up with someone unsuitable due to desperation and not concieve anyway.