4 years trying and no baby

[Petitepoi]

Hello,
I suppose I’m just looking for some like minded ladies who are going through a similar time to me. I’m 37 and have been trying for a baby since 2020. We have had one early loss in 2021 and since then nothing. We did 2 rounds of IVF last year which were unsuccessful. I have recently been diagnosed with endometriosis and had surgery in February to remove an endometrioma and unstick some of my organs! I have been told by my consultant that this could help us conceive so we are trying naturally again for the moment. I am really struggling with life right now - very low and a horrific anxiety especially when I was up in the morning. It’s that thought of ‘what if this never happens’. Is there anyone else in a similar boat that would like to chat? Anyone without any children (for me, even though I’m aware secondary infertility is just as awful, it’s not my experience). TIA x

That all sounds horrible and I'm sorry you are struggling and I can understand why. It's not my personal experience but a close friend went through something similar. She conceived twins with a year or two of her surgery who are now thriving 3 yro.
Are you eligible to retry IVF now that the surgery has been done? I'd be very unimpressed it wasn't checked for beforehand.

Yeah we will definitely go private for IVF next year if we have no success.
I was told for years that I had ‘unexplained’ infertility. Which was awful. They wouldn’t do a laparoscopy due to the fact it could harm my ovaries and my egg count is already low. But after failed ivf I demanded an exploratory laparoscopy and they agreed. Consultant said our previous IVF hadn’t worked due to my egg quality (common in endometriosis) so I’m not sure whether having the surgery first or not would have helped in that respect. I’ve since been working on my diet etc, it’s the only thing I have control over!
thats lovely to hear your friend conceived naturally after her op. I bet that year or 2 after her op was crap though, I feel like I’m in limbo :( x

Sorry you are going through this. Like the pp it’s not me but my friends tried for four years, they found out she had endometriosis. She had a few surgeries, one involved losing a tube. She went through four failed ivf rounds and they were losing all hope. Then the month after the 4th failed round she conceived naturally. They now have a baby dd and I’m so happy for them both.
She had dd at 35.

I wish you the best of luck. I cannot imagine what you are going through, but I did see how much it took its toll on my friends as they were going through it all. She was fairly open about the details.

Hi, I’m in very similar position as you are. We started TTC 2018, in 2021 i was diagnosed pcos and tried clomid. Conceived firs cycle but unfortunately had stillbirth at 24 weeks December 2022. Have been TTC ever since, had multiple chemical pregnancies, lots of tests and appointments, tried clomid 5 months, now letrozole 2 months and nothing is working 😭
im 34, no children. It’s horrible as all my friends have multiple kids and nobody struggled to conceive so if anyone asks I just tell them I don’t want kids as I can’t bare to be explaining to people who don’t understand. 🥺 my best friend had her first grandchild today, her daughter is 25, it’s so unfair 😣

@Petitepoi firstly I am so sorry for everything you’ve been through. Just wanted to ask- how did they discover you had endo after IVF? Were your cycles on the NHS? If so, were you able to advocate for laparoscopy via this? I’ve just gone through my first cycle (9 eggs, 7 blastocysts, 1 4BB transferred, the rest were discarded as quality not good enough) I find out if I am Pregnant on Friday but get a feeling it’s not worked.

@AnnMii sorry to hear this :( is IVF an option for you? Also have you tried a change of diet? I work with a fertility nutritionist and she helps people create personalised plans. She herself has PCOS and wasn’t ovulating, she changed her whole diet and conceived twice. I’m following endometriosis diet but unfortunately had no joy yet. It’s so hard because I see ppl get pregnant that have the worst lifestyles and I’m trying so so hard and can’t seem to get pregnant :( i honestly wouldn’t wish this on anyone. X

@MerryBrickHelper oh gosh I’m wishing you so much luck! 🍀
My cycles were on the NHS yes. They kept telling me I had en endometrioma on my right ovary and that could indicate endometriosis but they never gave me anymore info or help. So I was completely in the dark going through the ivf cycles. It wasn’t until after the 2nd cycle that I asked them to perform a laparoscopy and they agreed. X

@Petitepoi thank you so much for replying. Did you ask the consultant and he referred you or did you have to go through GP? I’m not holding out a lot of hope, or maybe I’m struggling with hope. Zero symptoms and the two days after transfer I was not able to relax and I’m worried that means it won’t implant!

@MerryBrickHelper i asked my consultant and he did the op. He just put me straight on his list, took about 4 months. Not being able to relax is definitely not going to make a difference to implantation. I hope everything goes well for you x