Preparing to start IVF, any advice/tips?

[Bethsh]

My husband and I are 37 and have been trying for a baby for just over a year without success. Tests have shown I’ve got a polycystic ovary but no other obvious issues other than lots of stress from losing my Dad a few months ago. We’ve been to a fertility clinic who recommended either ovulation meds or IVF, and we’ve now made the call to go for IVF next month (we both want 3 children if possible and we were worried that if we struggled to the same extent each time we tried for a baby then we’d run out of time and also want to make the most of making embryos at this age). We’re going to be doing egg collection/hopefully making some good embryos and then a bit later a frozen transfer due to my risk of ovulation hyper-stimulation. I’d be really grateful if anyone has any advice or tips for how to prepare to go through ivf? It feels like we’re in the calm before the storm/deer in headlights. Thank you x

My tip is to go for some counselling with someone experienced in fertility topics. I didn’t find the medical process or injections too bad; the emotional and mental health side of it was harder for me.

Wishing you all the best with it x

Other people might feel differently but I say test early - if it’s positive, you’ll have more time to celebrate, if it’s negative it gives you more time to come to terms with it (and you haven’t spent two weeks running yourself ragged symptom spotting ) … I know there’s a risk of a chemical pregnancy but (for me anyway ) at least knowing that might provide some more information to make a future cycle successful.

Also: don’t wait. Just go for it. If you’ve access to funds / treatment, just go for it. It’s much more likely to get you to your end goal than another month of hoping and wishing and waiting.

Tell a couple of trusted friends so they can support you through the process. Celebrate even the littlest wins and give yourself grace when the stress/emotions get on top of you.

Find good distraction techniques to try and stop yourself obsessing too much (during IVF is the only time I've ever done puzzles, and they were a godsend).

Read it starts with egg by Rebecca fett and follow her protocols x

Hello

i wish you the best of luck (we tried ivf with ICSI twice but so far no luck and now no more funds)

My advice would be:

1. Sign up for some therapy/counselling as soon as you can.
2. Be prepared for an emotional rollercoaster of ups and downs.
3. Agree how many times you will want to have ivf or how much you can afford
4. Be kind to yourself, be kind to each other. It’s a lottery and so much is odds/chance.
5. be prepared for the hormones to affect your body and that it’s quite invasive
6. try not to worry too much, I was so afraid I would ovulate early before the collection or do something wrong, miss an injection. Call your clinic if you’re stressing they can ease your mind and stop you stressing.

I wish you the best of luck!

I'm so sorry on the loss of your dad OP.
Sorry this is long, but hopefully might help in some ways. DH and I TTC 12yrs, lost 3, had multiple rounds of IVF and had absolutely no fertility issues/cause ever found. Everyone is different, so these are just my own thoughts/tips:

1. I agree with buying the book 'It starts with an egg'. A 2nd hand copy from ebay is fine, but get the latest version if you can
2. I wrongly assumed that the fertility drugs would turn me into a hyper pre-menstrual mode that was angry all the time. It didn't at all! I also never found it as super stressful or as emotional as others say. I was obviously sad to have losses, but never felt the utter, bottomless grief that some people describe
3. Someone upthread suggested mentioning to a few close friends you are going through this. You know your friends best. I mentioned to a friend when we first started TTC, years before trying IVF. For years, every, single time I saw her, it was the 1st and almost only thing she'd ask. It became so wearing and more stressful than the IVF
4. Some meds need to be kept in the fridge, so keep this in mind if you are going away this summer
5. The needles are very fine, but can sting. I bought emla cream online (also from larger pharmacies). Its a local anaesthetic cream used before cannulating children or taking blood and numbs the skin. You put a pea sized blob above the stomach area you want to inject. Don't rub it in! Either cover it with a clear dressing which holds the blob on the skin, or sit doing something/watching TV without moving too much. For invasive procedures, it reaches maximum numbness after 1hr, but I found even 15-30mins was enough to take the sting out of the injections. You wipe the blob off before injecting.
6. Be prepared for multiple hospital visits, often within 2/3 days of each other. Many companies allow IVF treatment visits to not be counted as sick/other leave. This might be a legal requirement, I'm not sure, but check your work policies.
7. Wishing you all the best and happy to answer any questions you have. Just remember, that you aren't alone. x

Thank you so much everyone. There’ve been lots of really helpful practical tips, but more than anything felt a real sense of comfort and support from the kindness of those who have gone through similar experiences. Thank you again ❤️

We had IVF (pcos / low sperm) and counselling before hand. Due to location at times I went alone without my DH for appointments (he was there for the important ones)

Try not to compare your ivf cycles with others, take it slow. Write a diary / journaling may help. Always ask your clinic questions and take it a day at a time.

Having a friend or close family member to talk to would be beneficial, and your DH too. Men are often forgotten in this situation.

Lots of baby dust & wishing you well
Happy to help if any questions xx

I’d definitely consider the counselling, and I’d also really focus on having 1 child. I’m going to be blunt and say it seems highly unlikely you’ll have 3. Be very prepared for it not to work or for miscarriage, even with a natural conception I was totally unprepared for a MC.

(OK this turned into a mega post, but I thought it might all be helpful so kept it all in...)

I think it varies a lot for different people and different dispositions. I didn't find the actual egg collection cycles with all the injections and prodding and poking too bad. It fills you full of estrogen which tends to make me feel quite good. Also you feel like you're doing something proactive, and you're kept very busy with all the appointments etc.

Some practical info: The stims medication is fine. Ice pack for five mins before and after. If they give you fyremadel in pre-filled syringes they are quite blunt (I read someone say its like trying to inject with a spoon 😂), so go at 45 degrees with a quick, firm jab, like throwing a dart! I also had progesterone in oil injections which people describe as horrific but were also fine. Heat pack for those, and watch nurse Linda on youtube beforehand. The worst drugs for me were when I had noresthisterone before my first cycle (made me very glum) and the progesterone suppositories as they're just gross and messy (buy loads of panty liners if you're using them vaginally).

After the cycle is over can be pretty brutal - when my period arrived I was completely exhausted and hurt all over, and both cycles after EC have been bonkers (one was the shortest cycle of my life and the other the longest). And the waiting for the next transfer is tedious.

I went into things with a relatively pragmatic viewpoint, which has helped so far. Each transfer has about a 30% chance of implanting and 25% chance of leading to a live birth, and you can find various stats on how many rounds (i.e. egg collections and transfer of all embryos) it will likely take you. This meant that when my first and second transfers didn't work, I was sad but not distraught because, statistically, i expected it. My third transfer is coming up and we have a PGT-A tested 5AA embryo, which means a 70% chance of pregnancy and I know that if this one fails, it will be a lot harder to deal with because of the numbers.

I'd also gently suggest managing expectations around three children. Not that it's impossible, but I have found it easier if I have some flexibility and can go with the flow with this process. We wanted two but I can now also visualise a happy life with one or even none, and that gives me some resilience.

On the whole, it can feel like a long slog but it is manageable. Good luck!