Pregnant at 45

[barefootand45]

Name changed for this one from embarrassment.

I am unexpectedly pregnant at 45. About 5 weeks. Everything I've read online says that the chance of miscarriage is between 50 and 90%, so obviously have a very slim chance of ending up with a third child.

What I can't find out is whether these miscarriages are mostly early or whether the high risk persists all through the first trimester?

The problem is that I'm finding it very difficult to behave as if pregnant (eg had a shandy yesterday and just realized I had eaten Parmesan with raw milk) when I know it is so unlikely to continue. But it's not just me! I went to the GP to discuss and she recommended I continue taking my antidepressant, despite recommending I stop it in previous pregnancies (mid-late 30s).

Also feel too awkward to tell anyone other than DH in real life, despite telling DM and two close friends about my previous pregnancies almost immediately. Is this a mistake? Will I regret it if I have a miscarriage or have to take a TFMR?

Very uncertain and anxious about having another child at my age but I'm not considering a termination for other reasons.

https://datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer Is an excellent tool

Thank you. This is a useful tool and says that the chance had gone down from 86% to 48%. I haven't had any other miscarriages but I have had a lot of chemical pregnancies over the years, so didn't enter any other information than age.

Looking at it another way, if I'd entered my data a week ago I would have broken the site's promise! 'The Miscarriage Odds Reassurer is designed to remind us that our pregnancies are more likely to result in babies than end prematurely.'

Op do you want be pregnant and have a third child?

You don't have to have the baby. Do you even want to be pregnant?

Out everything aside for a minute

Do you want a third child?

Can you afford it?

More importantly - do you want to go ahead?

We can afford it and have a large enough house. DC1 and DC2 are at private school and that would be a big stretch, but at least some years in the future!

I would have loved to have a third child 5 years ago. I love babies and have been broody since DC2. It may turn out that I'm better with babies and toddlers than older children, though!

I had two very scary deliveries (one emergency and one elective c-section, the elective much worse) and the consultant apparently advised me with DC2 to think very carefully before having more children. (I don't really remember this because was haemorrhaging away, but my husband does.) This is why we didn't have one before.

Now I would like to get a clear sense of what the risk to my health is. Would terminate without question if there is a serious risk of uncontrollable bleeding. Otherwise am wondering if I could have a hysterectomy during a third c-section and whether this would make it safer? This seemed a possibility at one point last time when they couldn't control the bleeding but eventually they got it under control. I went to the GP yesterday to discuss but she can't refer me until I'm much more pregnant than 5 weeks.

As I type this I wonder if I am insane for not sorting out a termination today. But, as I said, I would have loved to have a third child and a termination would be very painful.

I am 46 with an 8 month old. Baby was perfect and pregnancy without any complications. You have every chance of ending up with a live baby.

I had our 3rd late. Not expected. Termination never a choice.
We told only a few before week 20. We had a healthy baby.

My mom had me at 42, and my sister had her youngest at 41. The odds of MC are higher, but it’s nowhere near a definite. I think the bigger question here is if you actually want this pregnancy. Best of luck on whatever your decision

I'm pregnant at 45, very much on purpose. Miscarriage risk is about 50% before 12 weeks.

If you want this baby, you're not too old!

Good luck either way. I'd recommend you request an appointment with an obstetrician as soon as possible regarding your health risks.

I do not understand why you would want to go through the baby stage again in your mid 40s. At 45, I will have a 23 year old and a 14 year old. I will be enjoying my life, not adding another 10 years of parenting a young child!

Good luck!

@safetyfreak well the op can enjoy life with a baby 🤷🏻‍♀️ there’s no one set way to live and life rarely goes to plan but that doesn’t mean it’s kind to put down others who live differently to you.

What a stupid useless answer 🤦‍♀️