How to keep going

[KatePr]

Another negative pregnancy test today but still waiting for my period (due tomorrow). This limbo is horrible. I was pregnant with my first baby in February after trying for 9 months. I lost them at 11 weeks in April. This is my second cycle trying after my miscarriage and I’m feeling so down, my cycles have been a week or so longer since the miscarriage too so they just drag on and on. Hopefully there’s some kind people out there that can respond with some comforting words. Please don’t respond saying to wait a while to try again, it’s all I’ve ever wanted.

I totally understand @KatePr I think being limbo is the absolute worst. I too am in limbo waiting for my cycles to return. Sending you love, as I know exactly how you feel xxx

Because as much as we hate it we can’t give up. The other option is not ever having any chance. So we must continue, as difficult as it is. And it really really is. Sending you lots of love and luck for getting g to be able to start another chapter in your story xx

@Figtree11 thank you for understanding. I feel less alone knowing you’re going through the same thing. It sucks doesn’t it. Honestly I’ve been feeling so alone so your reply means the world.

I hope you don't mind me replying as someone who is very lucky to have had similar and come out the other side with a successful pregnancy. In fact, the only reason I'm on this board is because I'm thinking about the possibility of trying for another.

I'm writing this because back in 2021 when I had a missed miscarriage discovered at 13 weeks, and then a couple of chemical pregnancies in the year after, I could not have imagined a time when I would be happy again.

But we persevered and I have my wonderful little boy.

I just wanted to gives you hope it it's needed.

It's crazy that you can be so miserable and frustrated, then life changes up again. Just because things are tough now doesn't mean they always will be.

Best of luck OP!

@Duckgirl this is exactly how I feel, I really need the love and the luck so thank you so much for wishing that for me xx

@GelatoPistacchio I am so happy for you and I teared up reading your reply. This gives me hope as I feel like there’s so much heartache in store for me. Thank you for being kind enough to share your story, I’m imagining you with your little boy now and I so hope that is in my future xxx

Fingers and toes crossed for you!!! I've been there too, and it's so tough. I really hope it happens for you. I was lucky and got my precious girl two years after miscarrying.

You are so welcome @KatePr I have found it so helpful posting on mumsnet and knowing that what I am feeling is totally normal for such a heartbreaking situation.
@Duckgirl is so right. We just have to have hope that we will get what we so desperately want

To give you a little hope- When dc1 was 2 I had two losses quite close together. We stopped trying for a while. When we decided to try when dc1 was 4 1/2, I fell pregnant first cycle. Dc2 is now 19.

@SendNoodles thank you so much. It’s so hard to believe that my turn will happen but I hope with all my heart that it does. So pleased for you that you have your little girl xxx

@Figtree11 I’ve been so reluctant to post on online forums incase I say the wrong thing, it’s such a sensitive topic but I’m so glad I did.

@pinkgin79 I’m so glad you have your two little ones, I just have to believe this is in the cards for me. Thanks so much for giving me some hope xxx

Let it all out here, it’s a safe space to share how you are feeling and know you aren’t alone x

I wish I had some answers for you. I’m so sorry to hear about your miscarriage at 11 weeks. I have just found out yesterday at 11 weeks that my fetus has died and I have to think about the different management options for miscarriage :( this will be my 9th year of trying and this baby was Ivf. I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks 2 years ago and found that traumatic. Do you have advice on how you managed your miscarriage at 11 weeks. I’m considering posting on mumsnet before I decide about what miscarriage management option to go for

@Coco2024 I had surgical management for my missed miscarriage at 11 weeks x

@Coco2024 I am so sorry, that is absolutely devastating and my thoughts are well and truly with you. Sending you so much love. My miscarriage happened really quickly, I was in so much pain that I ended up in A&E and I remember feeling like I had no idea how to manage the miscarriage when they asked me what I wanted to do. I called a friend before I went to hospital and she told me she had an expectant management and that it was really painful so she encouraged me to think about a medical management if I was offered it. I opted to go for the medical management because the consultant told me the risk of having any retained tissue was lower than expectant management. I chose not to have surgical management because I was scared of going under anaesthetic. Ultimately the decision is yours and what feels right for you and your body. Has the hospital given you any information about the different ways so you can make an informed decision?

@pinkgin79 sorry to jump in and not meaning to derail the thread but did you find the age gap ok? I've been trying for DC2 for 2 years (via ivf), 3 miscarriages and 3 failed embryo transfers. DC1 is now 3 so we are looking at a larger gap than planned and I'm constantly looking for reassurance that bigger gaps can work well!

I'm so sorry for all the trouble people on this thread are having. TTC is the hardest thing I've ever done. Keeping going is a one day at a time kind of thing.