Just feeling low today...failing to concieve is ALOT

[IloveDisney89]

Hi everyone,

My husband and and I have been trying since February 2023 and I haven't been pregnant once yet (that I know off).
This week has just been a difficult one and I just needed somewhere to vent I think.

I've been told since TTC that the difficulties may be because I'm quite overweight ( when I started I was 17.5 stone and I'm now after lots of exercise and change im 15.8 stone....i know i still have ways to go) and or i might be stressed. I've had scans and everything is fine, I've had the 21 day bloods and everything was fine except progesterone which was 27 when over 30 is optimal for fertility I'm told. I've taken to new hobbies to reduce my stress and other lifestyle changes in the last 16 months.

My husband had his SA results back this week and his results are brilliant. Which of course is great news...of course it is.

But what's had me crying today is my friend who is 20 stone with PCOS, has just announced she's 14 weeks pregnant after 4 months of trying ...shes also 43...44 in September. For context I'm 34.
5 seconds after reading the text message I just started crying. Please don't get me wrong, I am happy for her and I know every body is different And I would never ever want her to struggle to concieve like me.

I thin the news just reinforces that im the broken one...something is wrong with me. My husband has been lovely of course...but I can't help the feelings right now. I'm sure in 10 minutes I will be back to my happy, optimistic self.

Thanks if you got this far xx

I am sorry to hear you are feeling down. It was very frustrating for me as it took us 2.5 years to succeed and I think it was because of my weight as all tests came back fine. Few months before I finally fell pregnant I decided to reset my body by doing 16:8 fasting and started taking Ubiquinol and Proceive Max.
I just watched an interesting video with fertility doctor last week and she explained the influence of overweight etc and I wish I had had this info at the time to motivate me to keep going.

I understand. I have tried for 10 years, 2 partners, many IVFs. We got DS on first IVF and all the others failed for a second children. All we have to show for those tries is a stack of debt which hurts DS' quality of life and makes me feel guilty.

I'm 40 and all that is left to try is: hertility test and a tube flush. I've had friends struggle too but all, even the 43 yr old, managed a second and I'm still with no answers why it's been so long and so hard.

All I can say is 34 is young and a few years isn't too long. You aren't out of runway yet!

Thank you @Olika for your kind words and advice. I haven't heard of ubiquinol. I am taking pregnacare and additional folic acid because of my weight. I might have a look into changing to procieve max.

I've not tried fasting ....just reducing calories and exercising 4 times a week ...scales won't shift but I keep losing inches so that's good.

Thanks for the video...I'll be down a rabbit hole now lol. I really appreciate it xx

My honest advice would be to get yourself on some weight loss jabs and take a break from ttc for a bit and get your BMI below 30 so you can qualify for NHS ivf, which I think should be in Feb 25 after two years of trying (but check your area).

Also worth taking coq10 supplements and omega 3 to boost egg quality. I’m really sorry you’re experiencing this, it sucks and it’s really unfair.

Also, if your progesterone result was borderline, it’s worth trying the Proov tests, you can get them from Amazon for about £30 and they should be able to tell you whether your progesterone gets and stays high enough to support implantation.

@MummySleepDeprived wow 10 years ! I admire your perseverance and patience. I don't know if I could keep failing for that long ...my pessimistic personality is draining ...but I am also working on this.

My husband already had children...now adults so IVF won't be free for us either ...so I have already started a savings pot should we have to take that route.

Thank you for humbling me guys, i do have to remember that I am not the only one and i am at the beginning of this emotional journey.

@IloveDisney89 sorry to hear you won’t get any free rounds. Have you looked into potentially going abroad? It can be much cheaper. If you’re able to pay I would crack on with IVF without delay once you’ve confirmed your progesterone is ok.

@YaWeeFurryBastard weight loss jabs? I'm guessing this is something you get privately? My BMI is 35 at the moment so I know I have a ways to go.

I've never heard of the proov tests ...I will look for these tonight. The GP said he wasn't concerned but mumsnet says its not optimal for fertility. Now my husbands SA has come back I think I can now have more tests.

Thank you.

No hadn't considered abroad. Also something to look into.

Apologies I made the comment about the weight loss jabs before I realised you weren’t able for nhs ivf, where they have strict criteria of below 30 bmi.

If you’re ovulating regularly, I don’t think a bmi of 35 is likely to be the sole factor that’s stopping you getting pregnant, although obviously gentle weight loss will probably help, so try not to beat yourself up too much about your weight.

Have you had a folicle scan and a hycosy? Those tests are absolute musts to check your follicles and that your tubes are clear.

@YaWeeFurryBastard oh ok no problem.

I have had 2 internal scans and bloods. Sorry i can't remember the name of the tests but the doctor said no concerns were raised. Never had any mention about my tubes or whether they are clear so I will ask about this.

In regards to ovulating ...I do have long cycles ..37 days ...although this month was 31 days so yeah...I guess not a good sign but im just waiting to see how long this cycle is but will then have to raise it as an issue.
My bbt does raise each cycle to show ovulation but that's all I'm using at the moment to track.

I really like the EasyAtHome tests and app. App is free and tests aren't too expensive and come in a big box. They work with other metrics so if you are tracking temp you can put it there. I found the clear blue flashing smiley ones got too expensive over time.

I'm so sorry you're in the thick of it. My story is similar to yours, I've lost 5 stone for my fertility. I'm on a host of supplements and hormones to help me ovulate and to support my progesterone.

Have you considered PCOS and endometriosis? My fertility dr has said this is the next thing to explore for me.

@JuniperandI well done on your weight loss! I hope to also achieve this goal.

I have been told I'm clear of PCOS and endometriosis because nothing showed up on the scans I had. Everything was clear.

So I'm thinking I'm either not ovulating regularly enough, so hormonal or its timing. But honestly the timing thing is throwing me because my husband and I DTD often, every couple of days on average.
So I don't think I can improve on that.

@IloveDisney89 if you watch from the video the part explaining overweight it helps you to understand why one is not falling pregnant even if DTD during ovulation.

I would really really really encourage you to use the ovulation sticks. The clearblue digital are worth the money.

None of the natural indicators are reliable for everyone, and it might well be you're trying at the wrong time. (Often too soon).

It's worth focusing on that as a starting point, IMO.