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Conception

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Please help me

8 replies

Islascott · 17/06/2024 10:25

Hi so this is very long winded and complicated but I could really do with the support and no judgement. Me and my partner have been together for about 7 years we had a period where we split for a year and we both started seeing other people I was 10 months into the breakup when I started a relationship with someone who I was only seeing for a couple of months due to me and my ex getting back in contact and wanting to give it another go I last see my ex partner on 10/10/2022 that is when we last slept together I then slept with my ex on the 11/10/2022 so very close in dates but I did have the copper coil in which I had for a few years and had no problems and also had one previously which again no problems. I then had a period that started on the 24th of October which wasn’t as painful as usual but it was heavy and lasted 3-4 days which is usual cycle for me. We then decided to jump into things pretty quick and got the coil removed on the 3rd of November which when it was removed I asked if was in place properly and they confirmed it was. From around the 13th I started taking pregnancy tests and I was getting a negative result up until the 17th of November when I took a test and it was positive! I thought wow that was quick but something was hanging over me that made me feel what if I was already pregnant as I didn’t expect a result so soon so I decided to take a digital test and that came up with 1-2 weeks and I took another test several days later and again 1-2 weeks appeared. This put my mind at ease a bit considering the first test I took came up quite light in colour. Fast forward to my first scan which put me at my due date around 29th of July 2023 I then had another scan at 12 weeks and my due date was put to the 31st of July which I have done tons and tons of conception calculators and it matches perfect to lmp and to due date so you would think ok it’s all lining up to be my partner and I had the coil so I am just being paranoid and just destroying my own happiness! I did speak with my partner about doing a dna test whilst pregnant he said there would be no need and then day came where it was time to give birth! She arrived beautiful black hair just like my partner I thought she looked very much like him and even the midwife agreed! Now ever since I get non stop told how much she is like him and my partner sees it to! A few months into when she was born I spoke with my ex came clean about my concerns he reassured me it was in my head and she doesn’t look like him and I agreed I could see my partner too! Fast forward to almost a year on and all I can see is my ex her hairs got lighter but not blonde like my ex still brown but she had a cleft chin just like my ex which according to genetics it’s a dominate trate and comes from parents me and my partner don’t have it my parents do but more of a dimple and my partners child from previous relationship has one but different to my daughters hers looks just like he’s same position ect! Her eyes go between hazel and blue my ex has blue partner has hazel everyone has noticed how they change which is very odd mine are blue also may I add! Her ears the top looks like my ex but other parts look like my partners but her earlobes are attached like my ex not like mine or partners which again is apparently a dominate trate I can see her nose looks like my ex but has parts of my partner and now I honestly feel I’m going absolutely mad! I have showed people images of them both and they can see the features of my ex but think she looks like my partner! All in all only answer is a dna but I’m worried of worst outcome my mental health can’t take it especially when he’s raised my two older children for the past 6 years too there’s a lot at stake and I love him so much when I mentioned dna testing at beginning he got angry told me if I do it he would leave cos that’s head daughter and I’m just putting paranoia in he’s head since then he’s never brought it up again! She adores him may I add and I really just would like someone to tell me its all going to be ok :( my ex has seen a photo of her too and congratulated me so he’s never thought she looks like him obv also her eye shape looks similar to the ex and similar to mine

OP posts:
relishrelish · 17/06/2024 10:31

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Islascott · 17/06/2024 10:38

sex With ex partner 10/10/2022 sex with current partner 11/10/2022 I had a coil in place which has been fine for several years then had what seemed like a normal period 24/10/2022 then on 03/11/22 coil was removed took tests from 13/10/2022 they was negative then on 17/10/2022 faint mark on pregnancy test which was early detection I believe! Then digital pregnancy test 1-2 weeks at my scans basically lmp and due date match exactly but my daughter has features of both my partner and ex but dominAte traits of my ex that me and partner don’t have everyone thinks she looks like my partner but I can see my ex in her

OP posts:
relishrelish · 17/06/2024 10:46

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relishrelish · 17/06/2024 10:47

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Islascott · 17/06/2024 11:01

Sorry don’t think you are reading my post correctly and I was on contraception like explained

OP posts:
Islascott · 17/06/2024 11:04

I had been sleeping with my partner from the 11th all way up to when found out I was pregnant so after my coil was removed too

OP posts:
sirensong · 17/06/2024 11:41

I don't really know anything about coils. Is it possible for them to be removed without disrupting an early pregnancy? You're assuming you were pregnant before it was removed, right?

A test seems the only way to be definitively certain but that is against your partner's express wishes. What would you do if the result said it was your ex?

MocktailMe · 17/06/2024 13:18

Okay so the writing is a bit jumbled but the facts are there.

You had sex with two different men on both the 10th and 11th of October, with a copper coil.

Period then started on 24th October.

Coil removed 3rd November.

Negative tests from 13th November - 16th November.
BFP 17th November.

I don't think you need to be worried. You had a period two weeks after the (protected) sex with both men. You then had negative tests from the 13th - 16th November. Had you been impregnated during October those tests would have been positive.

You need to let this go I think. Your partner knows the situation and doesn't want to test, and the facts line up to the baby being his.

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