18 months ttc and feeling down

[SadAndHappy]

So I've been trying for baby #3 for a year and a half now and feeling really sad about it all. I thought this month might have been THE month, as I was having symptoms such as extreme tiredness, abit nauseated and I even had leaking nipples (very strange and think I need to get this looked at). However, being 3 days late on my period and still getting negative tests, I know it hasn't happened. Can also feel AF on it's way 😞

I was on the mini pill for 3 years before coming off to try, but am seriously considering going back on it and giving up completely. I feel like this has taken over my life and each month I go through a period of feeling extremely down and confused, and I hate this feeling. I do have 2 other children, however partner doesn't have any.

Is it worth going to the doctors for tests, or should I cut my losses and just go back on the pill? I am mid 30s now so feel maybe I'm just too old now. What tests can they even do? Can I go alone at first or would partner need to come along too for initial appointment? He works unsociable hours so be easier for me to go alone for now i guess.

Is the heartache/worry/stress worth it for a third child? It sounds a bit flippant but you already have two so why do you need/want a third?

How insensitive

I’m also ttc #3. It’s 2 years 8 months now 😭

Had ivf for #1 (took 6 years) , 18 m to conceive #2 and I’ve been having fertility treatment for the last 3 months no luck yet but hopefully it will work eventually.

It’s hard isn’t it 😔

Definitely have tests - get your hormones checked plus TSH and ferritin. Get your DP a semen analysis too and then make sure you are both on supplements, there’s a book called ‘it starts with the egg’ with good advice and also try the’ sperm meets egg plan’

I doubt the poster meant to be insensitive. I must admit I wondered the same, two children sounds fine to me.

OP, is your husband keen to have his own biological child or is it mainly you who wants one? If the latter, and he isn't bothered, just try not to be fixated about it. If it happens it happens but, if not, life can still be good. It's important not to let something like this spoil your enjoyment of life.

I wish you well whatever happens.

But that’s exactly it - two sounds fine to you but OP would like a third. It’s individual choice and it’s nobody else’s place to judge when OP is asking for support for a decision she has made not judgement or questioning if that is in fact the right decision

Have your prolactin levels checked, if it is high it can prevent conception (and cause leaking nipples)

The easiest thing to start with is to get your DP a semen analysis. I'd recommend going private because the NHS will have it waiting donkeys tests - it'll cost about £150 but that's a non invasive test and can rule out 50% of what could be the problem.

We would really love to have a 3rd. It's something that we have wanted fir a while but never expected it to be so hard. It is something we are considering now though, whether it is worth all the heartache.

It is so hard and heartbreaking! I'm so sorry you are going through it too and hoping it works out for you ASAP ❤️

Thank you for your advice! I will look into booking an appointment soon, better to know for sure I guess. Will look for the books too 🤞🏻

He is definitely in the mindset of "if it happens, it happens", however, I feel he may want one more than he cares to admit. My youngest is 10 now and he wasn't around for the "baby years" and just know he would make an amazing father! So I do think it's definitely both of us who would love one, but maybe me who wants it just that little bit more. I would just like to come to a point where we either absolutely stop and go back on birth control, or agree to continue and hope for the best.

Oh thank you! I haven't heard of this, I must admit the leaking nipples did worry me a bit and obviously my youngest is 10 now so haven't breastfed for a very long time now. I will look into this! Would I call the doctors and ask for this test, or hope that they offer it?

Is there any online tests we could order that are safe and reliable? As this would be much easier and he would be more willing, as I know he is worried about it but talk of doctors shakes him up a bit. Sounds silly I know, but i don't want to stress us out even more 🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm wondering why I could be so late this month too. I'm fairly regular, 29 to 30 days. I was due on the 1st June but still nothing and period pains are low and fading. Now on cycle day 32 but definitely still negative on cheap stick tests.

We have used exseed before, which is a decent starting point.

@SadAndHappy I'd book an appointment with your GP and explain that you have been TTC for 18 months and also mention the leaking nipples. I'd directly ask for a prolactin blood test along with any other blood tests they might suggest at this stage (I struggled with infertility for many years and always found it best to ask).

High prolactin can also mess with your cycle ie missed/late periods so definitely get this checked.

Thank you so much for all your help and advice. This is definitely something I will be looking in to!

Thank you! Will look into this 😊

Do you check for ovulation though? It could be one of those random months where you ovulated late or maybe a rogue anovulatory cycle?

But otherwise agree on what PPs have said re asking for tests: Day 4 and 21 for you and semen analysis for him.