Too scared to test after a few losses - 13 DPO

[fingerscrossedmumma]

Hi all

I had a chemical pregnancy last month and it was so horrible watching the positive line slowly fade until I bled (it never really got very dark)

I had a missed miscarriage in January and I was absolutely devastated. No live children.

I want this so bad but I just don't want the heartbreak over and over again. This month I am not sure if we BDed at the right times for ovulation, but I always remain hopeful. I ovulated CD 14 instead of CD12 as usual.

I'm due my period tomorrow (CD 28 and 13DPO today) and I don't feel pregnant (compared to the last two times), nor do I feel PMS symptoms. I just want my period to come so then I know it's all over this month, but I also want to know if I'm pregnant.

Just really scared to take a test as then I know for sure it's over this month. Any advice to soothe my neurosis??? This anxiety cannot be good for me!

Bit the bullet anyway and took a test immediately after posting this - BFN :(

@fingerscrossedmumma

I'm sort of in the same boat as you , I totally get the heartbreak every single month ! It's awful how we feel always hanging onto that little bit of hope 💖but honestly hang on it there , I get exactly like you , I'm currently on cycle day 37 my cycles range from 27-31 days , so technically I'm a week late Ive not tracked ovulation because it was getting to stressful for me and I was really struggling getting to the end of the month really positive then AF would show up I've not wanted to test because my cycles do range that little bit later but if it's not here by Friday I'll think about doing it then , I think every pregnancy is different some women have lots of symptoms then others have next to nothing and really surprised when they get there bfp , so like everyone says your not out until af shows , im sending you all the baby dust , and just remember there always light at the end of the tunnel 💖xx

@A95x - I hope it goes well for you and AF stays firmly away for a bit! Do let me know how you get on :) I have to remind myself it's not over this cycle until it's over but it is always difficult! Seeing the BFN was jarring

Aw thankyou , I hope the same for you 💞 I'm to scared to test because of the bfn 😔 my partner has said by the weekend I should , I know symptom spotting is awful , but I'm just so weird this time around like sorry for tmi my cm is like what you get when you ovulate I never ever get that ! It's been like it the last 2/3 days now and I just don't feel like myself , we put so much stress on ourselves we will get there xx