TTC Number 2 struggle

[BurritoTamer]

Hi all, want to preface by saying I do know I am so lucky to have my boy and that it is a privilege to be in this position of trying for a second.

That being said, I am feeling so down and upset today as had another BFN (CD25) marking 10 months of ttc 2. Accepting we will need to take next steps now. DH has got a sperm analysis home kit that he’s going to use when AF arrives. I’ve started acupuncture but can’t say I really think it’s helping. I take folic acid and coq10. I’m 30 and my DH is 33. Both non smokers, teetotal, normal bmi. DS is 14 months.

Been feeling nauseated and really convinced myself this time, so upset and disappointed.

Can anyone let me know what the next steps are for us, appreciate it will all be private. I can spend some time today looking at our budget and seeing what we can feasibly afford. No idea where to even start.

I’m so sorry, I know how hard it is. They do say that it can take a “normal healthy” couple up to a year to conceive naturally. Have you been tracking ovulation? My doctor said best to have sex every 2-3 days rather than every day as well.

Thank you, I really appreciated reading your message.

AF arrived but I feel a lot better about it this morning. Always helps to see “CD1” for me like a fresh start somehow! I’ve really struggled to track ovulation as I used LH urine tests which showed a peak and then the same month had a 21 day blood test that showed my progesterone as too low to have ovulated. I’ve started acupuncture and she thinks I’m only ovulating some months due to work stress. Which would make sense but doesn’t explain the LH peak. I’ve said to DH just to DTD every other day this month and then next month we will go to the GP if nothing changes. He’s got a home SA kit to use this month too.

Good luck 🍀
If you can afford to splash out on the Clearblue ovulation tests everyone I know whose used them has found them very reliable. although sometimes the stress of testing etc can make it worse so maybe better to just keep trying every other day and see what happens!

The Clearblue digital fertility monitor works I conceived month one DTD on peak day only but ended in MMC

Could you do bbt so temperature every morning? This only really confirms that ovulation occured but it’s confirmation combined with lh

How does this work, you just get a thermometer and take your temperature every day at say, 7am or whatever suits one as an individual? Then log it in an app? Thanks for the suggestion I might try it my schedule is a bit weird as I wfh 2 days and 2 days office and 1 day with my DS. But I’m open to trying anything!

Hello! Also TTC no.2 and have DS who is 19 months. We are on cycle 6 and no luck yet. I understand your frustration!

Regarding BBT I use my Apple Watch and it’s been great as I don’t need to remember to do it in the morning! It’s then confirmed ovulation (alongside positive LH strips) but also drops when AF is due, so it’s been accurate so far.

My partner is going to a fertility clinic next week for a sperm analysis. If normal I will book myself in for a fertility MOT. We are both 34 so getting a bit worried about time running out. Trying not to stress but hard not to.

Wishing you lots of luck and baby dust! X

Ah hi! I found another thread shortly after making this one called “TTC #2”. Your situation is similar to mine! My DS is 15 months, I’m 30 but DH is a 1990 baby too ☺️

Really good idea, I don’t have my own Apple Watch but DH does and maybe I can use his overnight just to log temperature, that sounds very low effort (my kind of thing!)

Not stressing is so hard, I agree. I found the 6 month mark upsetting too, then was ok for a bit and now staring down the barrel of a year really threw me at the weekend. Feeling more positive today. It is bloody relentless though!

Did you conceive your DS quickly? Good luck for your next cycle!! 🤞

If you started TTC again when your DS was only 4 months, and especially if you're breastfeeding, I wouldn't be overly worried it hasn't happened yet? The body can naturally want a gap before another pregnancy. You could try getting tests with GP after a year, but do consider if you'd actually want to do IVF (money but also the emotional, physical and time side). We already agreed we wouldn't bother with tests or anything further if we can't conceive number 2. But a year trying is very normal, and I'd be inclined to extend that given how young your baby was when you started.

Hi, thank you for this perspective. I think it was more like 5 months when I stopped taking the mini pill but you’re right, I phased out breastfeeding at 6 months alongside weaning (DS totally lost interest in latching) and moved to formula. It makes perfect sense my body needed time to adjust. So with that in mind perhaps it’s unfair to consider all these cycles as real “tries”.

We both, but me particularly, really wanted a very small age gap so that was why. But I do appreciate that hoping for 2 under 2 was always going to require a huge amount of luck. I think because we conceived DS on cycle 2 it made me totally blind to the reality of how luck based it is and this process has come as a reality check!

So yes I do think you’ve definitely got a point. DH is very “we will just get medical help” but I think he’s very naive about what it involves and obviously it’s me bearing that not him. Partly why I was so upset at the weekend is that all options feel bad to me I suppose. Paying huge money to privately undergo a hugely stressful, painful and not necessarily successful IVF procedure does feel crazy.

if someone could say, look it will take 2 years but you will get there naturally in the end, I could absolutely just be patient. But it’s the not knowing if it’s going to happen at all that’s driving me mental. I didn’t want to overload the OP but I had some mid cycle spotting which I’ve followed up with at the GP, who sent a cervical swab for testing (nothing back yet but they’re useless at my surgery). So I was starting to wonder if that, and the low progesterone, was meaning there actually is a medical reason I’m not able to conceive again. Which is why I’m so unsure what to do next. Keep trying and waiting or go to a clinic and speak to an expert.

If you were on the pill as well, I'd be inclined to to get too hung up on how many cycles it's been. Hormones change dramatically after birth and when you stop breastfeeding, I don't think you can compare with TTC your first. If I were you I'd see what the swap result is, but then give it six more months, especially given your ages aren't a concern. And try and get your head away from the age gap, it's impossible to plan and it really doesn't matter. I'd also make sure you and DH are on the same page about next steps, it's not as easy as just 'getting medical help', and it may be that IVF is too much to go through. It's really very likely to happen naturally. It took us longer to conceive for second time, after MC with first.

Thank you, I actually really appreciate your perspective on this. I think you are right, about all of it. It goes against so much of my natural thought patterns but that isn’t working for me and I need to adjust my mindset accordingly.

Sorry to hear of your loss, hope you are doing well now

Yes that’s the aim, so very first thing in morning usually the same time (give or take a bit) before you drink water or get up really. The thermometer needs to record to a certain degree I think it’s 2dp but it’s been a year since I did it. We are ttc again now but not actively this cycle. I bought the thermometer on Amazon, and took my temp each morning at around 6am. I’m not a morning person but I found I would naturally stir around that time anyway so I took it. It worked really well, showed the rise and stayed high to confirm ovulation. Of course it only tells you that you have ovulated but it helped to know after my peak lh that I then ovulated. Also bbt was a lot easier than the ovulation testing lh tests where I needed to do it twice a day and be in the house.

I used fertility friend to record the temp. I use premom for the lh tests. I found one app wasn’t the best for both but I really liked fertility friend for the bbt. Then premom to input the photos and record the lh.