Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC in a slightly difficult situation.

13 replies

poppymango · 09/05/2024 13:15

My boyfriend lives and works abroad (although is home every 4-6 weeks, and gets lots of holidays, so I see him fairly regularly).

I am the other side of 35 - perilously close to 40 if I’m honest - and although many women in my family got pregnant very easily (and some later in life; my granny had her last baby at 45) I am very conscious that it will likely be hard for me and may not happen at all.

That said, we are TTC. I’m hoping there might be things I can do to maximise my chances.

I have signed up to four different apps to track my cycle in the hopes that between them they’ll get it right 😂 and I’ve heard good things about the Pregnacare supplements, so I’ll give those a go.

I’ve never smoked, but would it be sensible to cut out alcohol entirely? Cut down on caffeine & sugar? Go vegan temporarily? I go to the gym semi-regularly and try to do yoga and such to keep stress levels down. I heard about the SMEP but that won’t really work for us for obvious reasons…!

Has anyone been in this situation before? Any advice gratefully received!

TIA

OP posts:
sirensong · 09/05/2024 13:21

Will his return visits home be able to coincide with your fertile week each month? If not, wondering if there's an option for him to freeze sperm and for you to self inseminate.

Original poster
poppymango · 09/05/2024 13:31

sirensong · 09/05/2024 13:21

Will his return visits home be able to coincide with your fertile week each month? If not, wondering if there's an option for him to freeze sperm and for you to self inseminate.

Sometimes they will coincide, yes. Should do a lot this summer.

OP posts:
Peonies12 · 09/05/2024 13:36

those apps are useless on their own, you need to use ovulation tests - the Easy@home ones were good for me, you can scan them in the premom app. Cutting out alcohol and down on caffeine is recommended by NHS. I wouldn’t do a vegan diet randomly, I’d just focus on a healthy varied diet with minimal ultra processed food. Exercise is great to keep up, especially for mental health. Remember there’s only so much you can do, mostly it’s luck and chance. PP suggestion about home insemination might be helpful if he’s not home when you’re fertile.

Original poster
poppymango · 09/05/2024 14:05

Peonies12 · 09/05/2024 13:36

those apps are useless on their own, you need to use ovulation tests - the Easy@home ones were good for me, you can scan them in the premom app. Cutting out alcohol and down on caffeine is recommended by NHS. I wouldn’t do a vegan diet randomly, I’d just focus on a healthy varied diet with minimal ultra processed food. Exercise is great to keep up, especially for mental health. Remember there’s only so much you can do, mostly it’s luck and chance. PP suggestion about home insemination might be helpful if he’s not home when you’re fertile.

Thank you! I’ve never thought of doing ovulation tests but sounds like a brilliant idea.

I might try the old lie-down-and-keep-your-legs-up after DTD, too. I always kinda thought that might be an old wives tale but I’m sure it won’t hurt 😂

OP posts:
LoulouM12 · 09/05/2024 14:23

I second that the best thing you can do is start tracking ovulation and getting to know your cycle. We're all different but track your LH hormone and BBT and log them on the PreMom app and you get really useful graphs and charts once you've clocked up a bit of data... Healthy diet, exercise, minimal alcohol and limiting caffeine are all helpful. I'm nearly 39 and TTC no2 so have recently clued myself up on anything and everything I can get my hands on knowledge wise, but still learning! I'm a bit of a geek and love science so it helps me.... Feel free to PM me if you'd like to chat!

GrumpySock · 09/05/2024 16:06

Can I also mention that 50% of success is on your partner so don't overload yourself with expectations. He needs to have a healthy lifestyle, eat healthy food and probably take some vitamins. In many cases the problem (if there is a problem) is with the partner not the woman.

1woodpecker · 09/05/2024 16:08

Re diet - I’ve read a lot about the importance of protein and fat for hormones, so I don’t think vegan is necessarily a good idea. Trying to up protein intake definitely is though

Original poster
poppymango · 09/05/2024 16:35

GrumpySock · 09/05/2024 16:06

Can I also mention that 50% of success is on your partner so don't overload yourself with expectations. He needs to have a healthy lifestyle, eat healthy food and probably take some vitamins. In many cases the problem (if there is a problem) is with the partner not the woman.

Bf is suuuper healthy - doesn't smoke or drink at all really and pretty good with going to the gym, taking multivitamins etc.

He is a bit older than me though. We haven' been trying all that long (since January really) but I'm aware that we're pushing our luck a bit because of our ages.

At what point we should consider getting fertility tests done? Might it be sensible to do that straight away just so we know? Will this take forever on the NHS?

I am very new to all this so don't want to miss something obvious.

OP posts:
1woodpecker · 09/05/2024 16:43

I did fertility hormone testing with Hertility. It’s about £150 but it’s quick and easy, they give you a report with an analysis of your results, and you can also get an ultrasound with them. Might be more efficient than going to the GP initially

Original poster
poppymango · 09/05/2024 17:29

1woodpecker · 09/05/2024 16:43

I did fertility hormone testing with Hertility. It’s about £150 but it’s quick and easy, they give you a report with an analysis of your results, and you can also get an ultrasound with them. Might be more efficient than going to the GP initially

I will definitely consider this although maybe a wee bit expensive for this month.

Do you happen to know if there is a similar service available for men? If we could get an idea of where we are fertility-wise without having to wait ages for NHS tests that would be amazing.

OP posts:
sirensong · 09/05/2024 17:37

Depending on your GP, you may be able to get blood tests done quite quickly as they don't require a consultation with a doctor. Do you have an app where you can communicate with clinicians at your surgery? I requested day 3 blood tests without seeing anyone other than the phlebotomist. Could see my results on the NHS app the same evening.

You can get LH, FSH, oestrogen, progesterone, prolactin, testosterone, TSH etc done on the NHS. You may also be able to get a semen analysis done.

You will need to pay for AMH but that can be done for more like £50. Depending on your results you may also want to pay for a scan to count your follicles and rule out any ovarian or uterine issues.

Pumpskinz · 09/05/2024 19:37

If it's any comfort I conceived my daughter when I was 40. We're now trying for our second. I got pregnant the first month of trying. I was relatively healthy, eating well and running regularly. I was also taking folic acid daily. Good luck 🤞

OneAmber · 09/05/2024 20:34

I would suggest reading in to BBT and get a BBT thermometer (you can get a cheap one off Amazon). This alongside ovulation strips (again the cheapies from Amazon are fine)and learning about your different types of discharge is so insightful for when you ovulate.

I initially tried out a few different apps but I have definitely found fertility friend the best for tracking ovulation BBT temps and Premom for tracking your ovulation strips.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page