Hi all,
I'm wondering if anyone has been in the same place or has any wise words.
It took us 6 months to conceive my last baby. Found out I was pregnant 3 days before period was due. At 7+6 I was getting ready for bed when I collapsed and was blue lighted to hospital. I'd be absolutely fine until 2 minutes before I hit the floor.
I lost 3 litres of blood, my right tube and part of my uterus after a cornual ectopic pregnancy. I'm still healing physically but have been told I should be able to try again soon (with early checks and early c section).
I lost my first baby after having a late miscarriage and didn't really feel like a moved on from that until the 20 week scan of my DS.
I'm feeling the same again, I don't think I'll be able stop thinking about the loss until I feel secure with another pregnancy but this time I'm so bloody scared to be pregnant again. I'm mid 30s with a history of early menopause in my family so I know time is not on my side but I'm so scared of being in a life threatening situation again. I know the same won't happen as I will have checks so it would never get to rupture point again, but it just feels like there's so much that can go wrong and what happened to me was so unlikely that it makes me feel like anything could happen.
I want to start trying again as soon as possible but also as soon as I say it to my DH I cringe internally. I'm not sure how I can I get to a place of confidence when my body has let me down so badly.