Age gap - miscarriage - molar pregnancy

[Georgia324]

Hi there,

My son has recently turned 3. We took a while to be ready to try again (bad PND) & did so last November and fell the first month, which seemed too good to be true and it was.

I had a missed miscarriage in February but then more bleeding after the removal surgery, and following tests on the foetus they diagnosed me as having had something called a partial molar pregnancy. Because of the symptoms my hcg levels were tested and they were very high, so I needed another surgery and unfortunately that still hasn't worked so I am starting chemotherapy on Monday it's all a bit bonkers really.

With chemo you can't TTC for a year afterwards. Realistically then there would be a 5+ year age gap. Is that even something doable? I guess I'm looking for positive stories of people waiting a lot longer to have their second child than they had hoped, and being happy with the shape of their family? I'd like some hope going into the 3months ish of chemo treatment ahead :(

Thanks for listening

Hey! I have a 5 (will be 6 on 3rd June) year old and a 2 week old. I always wanted a two year gap but circumstances wouldn't allow, relationship issues, money, mmc you name it. I'm sooo glad I had to have a bigger gap now! My sister's children have a 2 year gap each and they struggle a lot more keeping up with the both of them, jealousy etc. my son is amazing with his sister, so helpful and able to care for himself where needed. I get to sleep when baby sleeps while he's at school (tho the morning school run can be tough 😅). I love it! Wouldn't want it any other way. As for long term bonds, my sister's are 5 and 7 years older than me and we get on far better than they get on with eachother!

Sorry to hear about your experience. Sounds really stressful - I hope all the treatment goes well. A friend of mine had a longer wait that they wanted for a second child, due to a series of sad circumstances including a molar pregnancy. Eventually they had their second DS 5.5 years after the first. The family seems very happy now. I also know many families with much bigger age gaps than 5 years (have never asked the reasons why). I know that some of them find the age gap a plus - as pp has said, the bigger age gap can mean they have different needs so they're not in competition with each other in the same way that two similar aged children would be.