On my 5th cycle, just wanted to vent

[Choc29]

Sorry I'm just here to vent. Af showed today after testing negative this morning. I'm now on my 5th cycle ttc but have had some unprotected sex before. I'm gutted I'm no longer able to have a baby in 2024. I got married last year and really wanted a baby this year. I'm 30 too and there's no chance of me having a baby before I'm 31 now. My age worries me. Im also trying to loose weight as im only slightly overweight. I know it's not been too long really but it's taken longer than I expected it to. Everyone knows we want children and im pretty sure theyre aware we are trying and its not happend yet. I keep wondering if I'm doing something wrong. We don't have sex every day but have been told that that is OK. I track ovulation with OPKs and always peak at CD16 we always have sex on this day. My husband finds the pressure difficult and stuggles with daily sex often not able to finish but has always managed to finish on CD16 so far. We generally have sex 2-3 times during furtile window. I get really bad period pain and it's just a horrible reminder that I'm not pregnant.

I'm not sure if you have heard of SMEP or it might be too many times in a row for you but that worked for me the first month I tried that method and I was 36 (had tried for 2 months previously and was my second child). That month I also used the clear blue fertility monitor for the first time but I did pick up the peak at the same time as easy @ home strips.

Recommended this to another friend also mid 30s and it worked for them to x

Totally normal to feel this way. I'm 33, had a mmc a few months back but that took us about 6 months, weren't dtd all the time due to other reasons but it happens. Try to enjoy the process as much as possible and go with the flow, I know it's not easy but taking the pressure off a little bit can help the guy too in terms of feeling in the mood

I conceived 2nd son at 36. Try the Fertilily cup - I used an ebay knock off exactly the same and the ‘Mucinex’ method. Essentially cough syrup containing guaifenesin - take leading up to ovulation. A good pretnal vitamin - I swore by proceive, CoQ10 for egg quality and vitamin D. Try this for a few cycles. If you don’t get pregnant and you’re hitting ovulation and tried for a year, contact gp to get the ball rolling and referred to the fertility clinic. I wish I had started it all earlier and some hospitals have longer referral waiting times than others. So a slightly different response than others here, but just going by own experience and wishes of starting earlier. Good luck @Choc29

As you know op this is a normal length of time to try. The only thing I wanted to add is that the three days before ovulation are more likely to be successful than ovulation day itself so those would be the days to prioritse

I second a conception cup. I just cleaned and used my moon cup. After all is said and done, before you even get up, whack the moon cup in to trap the sperm up there. I wore it over night and took it out in the morning. Worked well for us.

Kindly, you need to reset your expectations and keep finding focus / joy in the rest of your life. We started trying Jan 2023 and I’m only now 16 weeks pregnant after a late miscarriage last year. For a lot of people it takes time and unfortunately that’s very normal. Don’t just focus on sex on ovulation day - better to have sex in the days before hand. And remember there’s not much else you can do apart from usual health stuff. Make nice other plans and keep the rest of your life full, and have some perspective around it all.

I'm in exactly the same boat. Been trying to conceive baby number 2 for 5 months. I know it's not long but baby #1 was a total surprise.
People keep asking when we are having our next baby as DC is almost at school. Feel really under pressure.
I know I'm ovulating, we're dtd at the right times but it's not happened yet.

It's hard. DH is very calm and not really fussed but I start to wonder if something is wrong.

Fingers crossed it happens soon for us all ❤️

Hi. I really want to say thankyou to all your lovely coments and advice. Currently taking coq10 and vit D. Gonna try the fertilily and sex 3 days before ovulation. I'm on my honeymoon next month and my cycle is due to end when we're away. I would love to have the BFP while I'm away but not gonna dwell too mutch on it. Xx

@Choc29 you are very young, don't put so much pressure on yourself. And truly, who cares what anyone else thinks about whether or not you're pregnant yet. TBH most people have so much going on in their own lives they don't think this way.

Good luck on your honeymoon!