To worry about the prospect of twins?

[Lilsmum21]

Hi all

please be kind. I have a 2 yo DD she is my world. DH and I are looking at baby2 and I’ve come to the realisation twins thought rare could be an option. We couldn’t afford twins, not enough room in the house (spare room too small for 2 to share and wouldn’t want to move DD as wouldn’t be fair to her). DH thinks it’s silly to worry but I don’t want to start TTC anymore as we couldn’t afford the childcare, no room etc and I would never consider terminating one etc. DH thinks we just try anyway as the likelihood is it won’t be a multiple (no twins on either side) as otherwise we’ll be waiting years til we can afford two.

did anyone else worry about that? Am I being ridiculous?

For health reasons I couldn’t carry my last pregnancy after DD and I think that’s probably bearing a lot on me over all this too as I couldn’t go through it again. please be kind and don’t give hate regarding that.

thank you to anyone who would offer any advice x

Fundamentally you seem ambivalent about TTC? If you’re not ready or have misgivings it is absolutely ok not to have another pregnancy

Kindly you are being silly, it’s not a common thing and if you want another child don’t let that stop you

Are you sure that you feel mentally ready to try? This feels like one of those things that you might fixate on to prevent having to try when you're not really ready. It sounds like you've had a difficult time and it's absolutely okay to not be ready yet, or to need more time.

If you are, I really wouldn't worry about twins. If you've got no twins in your family, it's vanishingly unlikely that you'll conceive twins. It really isn't something you need to worry about right now.

At the end of the day it's a risk but very low risk, that it'll be twins. If you did, you'd make it work. Silly to say you can't move your DD into another bedroom if you had to.

We are just starting to TTC our second and I've definitely had panicky, back-of-the-brain thoughts about the prospect of twins and how complicated that would be, but I know it's just my anxiety talking and in the very unlikely event that we did end up pregnant with twins, we would make it work.

There are lots of potential 'what ifs' tied up in having a child (whether first, second or more!) and sometimes you can get hung up on the worst possible outcomes - ultimately you have to do a risk/benefit analysis and decide whether the odds are worth it for you. It does sound like you have some wider ambivalence and there's nothing wrong with choosing to wait a little longer if you'd rather.

Thank you for replying. It isn’t that I can’t, it’s that I wouldn’t want to. We moved from a small flat to a house and DD chose her bedroom we’ve decorated it all specifically for her and I’d feel cruel taking her room and putting her in the smaller room along with all the other upheaval that comes with a new baby, let alone 2!

OP in the unlikely event that it was twins, you would move your dd, let her choose a whole new bedroom and make it exciting. Seriously you are worrying over something that has a tiny chance of happening. If you had twins in the family I could understand your apprehension.

Re the bedroom... Your DD wouldn't need to move rooms right away if you had twins. The babies will likely be in your room.

I rushed to have my DDs room ready when I was pregnant and she never even slept in it once. We moved house before she got the chance as she ended up in our room for 2 years. My youngest never got their room done until they were 18 months.

Your DD might want / be ready for a new room by that point. A new room is usually exciting to a child.