Difficulty conceiving and working with families

[Purpleyy]

I currently work with children and sometimes families and I'm not sure I'll want to continue in this line of work if I struggle to, or can't, have children of my own. The nature of my work means often the parents are not very good parents (think neglect, abuse etc) and the children are suffering as a result, which somehow makes it worse as it seems so unfair that they have children and I don't. Working with children is also just constant reminder of what I don't have. I had a miscarriage at 10w earlier this year and we're trying again now. I'm scared of not conceiving and of having another miscarriage if I do. I know it might also work out fine and I might have a baby but I can't help think what if. Has anyone changed their line of work due to fertility difficulties? Or managed to overcome the constant reminders of what you don't have when working with children?

Sorry for your struggles and negative thoughts. Do what's best for you! Consider all options of having a baby and also work because remember if you leave your company and do fall pregnant some companies don't offer maternity leave pay until you've been with the company for a year

It's really shit. No other way to put it! You either have to lean in, or give it up. I don't think either way is easier. I hate it sometimes.

I don’t think there’s a right answer to this. It would be totally fine to leave a role I think sometimes certain contexts aren’t right for us at certain times in life. I work with families with children with rare genetic conditions and I think if I get pregnant I’ll find it really stressful. I have already started thinking about changing my job. However, I feel I’ve outgrown my role anyway and have already reduced my days and taken a new job in a different context. If you otherwise love your job and wouldn’t want to leave can you get support at work? Do you get good supervision?

Honestly op, if your job is your career and you enjoy it, then you have to suck it up and learn to separate the two. I'm not trying to be harsh, I work in child safeguarding and every day work with children that have been through horrible stuff and live in horrible places with often horrible family members. I've also been through a decade of TTC , multiple MC and several IVF attempts. If you keep comparing you to them you'll drive yourself crazy.
If you decide to change jobs then that's a choice for you. But the TTC will be a phase in your life. Once you're through that phase are you going to regret giving up a career where you felt like you were making a difference to young lives?
I've had to learn to live with being childless but I'm glad I'm still doing my work and played a small part in having a small part in having a positive impact on other peoples children's lives.
If your job isn't your vocation then crack on and move into something else that you will find less upsetting.