TTC is making me crazy

[MyselfWho]

I've been TTC for almost a year now. I know it can take this long sometimes, or longer, and I'm trying to stay hopeful but I'm also getting a bit obsessive and feel so low.

I keep symptom spotting before I've even ovulated. Convince myself it's implantation every month I get AF. I've had a few chemicals/early losses so don't feel excited anymore when I get a positive. I think about getting pregnant all the time. It's so disheartening every month getting negatives or watching lines fade away.

I've had bloods done and they were normal, and my son was conceived straight away so I wasn't expecting to struggle so much second time around. I was hoping going to the gp would give me something to 'do' and maybe come up with a reason why, but it just felt like another dead end.

How on earth do I stay sane going through this? I keep thinking I should take a break just to feel less anxious but I'm 36, almost 37 and I don't think time is on my side 😕 plus I'd still be thinking about it all the time even if we "took a break" because I can't help myself 🤦🏽‍♀️

Hi
What was your Gp’s response when your bloods came back normal? Once you have been trying a full year will they refer you to fertility for further tests/ partner get tested or do you need to be TTC longer?
My understanding is once you have a child you might not be entitled to treatment but are entitled to investigations ( not to be insensitive)
The reason I am asking - as I found been referred to fertility in itself took the pressure. I was upset when I found out the waiting list for initial investigations was nearly 2 years initially- but being on the waiting list helped me mentally. By placing hope some hope on fertility tests/ treatment. I felt I had an action plan - that took the pressure off monthly trying. I was less devastated every negative month and I stopped symptom spotting - as in some ways I stopped expecting to get pregnant and was bidding my time.
I told myself the waiting just give us extra time before treatment - but lowered my expectations.

Perhaps you can’t be referred on - if so apologies for going on about my experience

Trying to think what also helped. I took up running - and I always noticed how my cycle affected how runs felt - so In some way this changed my focus on interpreting body symptoms.

it is such a hard time and sp difficult to others to understand too x