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Conception

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Original poster

Advice wanted for coping with BFN

12 replies

Choc29 · 21/03/2024 10:17

Hi
I was wondering if anyone had any advice for how to cope with the dreaded BFN. I've just come to the end of my 3rd month TTC. Im 12DPO and got a BFN this morning. I feel so down each time I get that BFN. Was wondering if anyone had any tips for ways to put your mind off it. Im also fealling down knowing that we have come to the end of the 3rd month so I'd love to hear any success stories from those that have got the BFP after 3 months TTC. Thanks. X

OP posts:
Roseberry22 · 21/03/2024 10:47

@Choc29 its really difficult dealing with BFNs but I find getting myself out for a walk or some exercise really helps, plan something nice for the days around AF even if it’s a cheap meal out and try and think you’re one month closer to a BFP and it will happen in time.

3 months is still quite early and try not to compare yourself to others

im on month 10 TTC with no positive, I went to the hairdressers and she announced she got pregnant the first month trying with twins and I got quite upset that that hasn’t happened for me. But I’ve tried to not compare myself to others as our bodies are all different.

just try not to be too hard on yourself, sending you big hugs and baby dust for next month.

WoAiWoBaoBei · 21/03/2024 10:53

Absolutely 100% know what you are going through! When trying for my first I cried every single time I got a BFN!
My advice is to just keep going and stop comparing!
I conceived month 5 with my first and amazingly month 1 with my second. It's a lottery each month. Remember most people conceive in the first year!

Daisyrobin123 · 21/03/2024 12:23

Totally normal how you're feeling! I'm on month 5 ttc #2. It took me 3 months to get pregnant with my little boy so once we'd passed month 3 this time it really got to me!
I remember someone once telling me to go onto the infertility board here on mumsnet and read on there, it definitely helped give me a bit of perspective - even though I totally get that when it comes to ttc the months feel so long when you want something to happen so quickly.

I also have plenty of things booked to look forward to (for us it's holidays - we're not rich, we just prioritise spending our money on travelling) but it could be days out, weekends away etc.

Practical wise you could try a 'method' or something new next cycle. This month we've tried the SMEP. It's made me feel like I've got a bit more control!

I remember with my first, on month 2 I felt like it was never going to happen! Hopefully you don't have too much longer! 🤞

Matildahoney · 21/03/2024 12:26

You're not out until your period comes. I ovulated prior to day 12 of my 31 day cycle, got a bfn the week before my period was due, I was 5 days late, took a test, I'm now sat here with my 12 week old. But also 3 months is not a long time to be trying, it took us 6 months, had a miscarriage, then another 6 months

whitenoisemachine · 21/03/2024 12:37

It's a shit window between bfn and af starting. I always felt like it was limbo.

I've had 3 pregnancies and 2 children. All 3 pregnancies were each conceived on cycle 8. It really is very, very normal to take up to a year to conceive, I read once that average is 6-9 months. Each time I fell pregnant I'd mentally "given up".

TTTC24 · 21/03/2024 15:19

I usually handle AF arriving with a bubble bath, glass of red and a chocolate bar 🧖‍♀️
Im on cycle 6 now, good luck to you! ✨

mrssunshinexxx · 21/03/2024 15:31

Took me 8 months with dd1 and I cried every month my period came.
Took me one month with dd2 hadn't had a period between then and was BF round the clock I was dumbfounded !
I hope it happens for you soon
My only advise is don't have too much sex! It lowers the soerm quality i always used the clear blue OPKS they are expensive but they worked for me

Original poster
Choc29 · 21/03/2024 17:15

Hi
Thankyou to everyone for your lovely replies. I'm feeling a bit more positive now. Xxx

OP posts:
Rosesanddaisies1 · 21/03/2024 17:21

Kindly, just don't test until AF is missed. I only got positives the day AF was due, but I hadn't tested before that. And reset your expectations, a year is really common.

Original poster
Choc29 · 22/03/2024 10:44

Af arrived this morning. X

OP posts:
Roseberry22 · 22/03/2024 10:51

Sorry to hear @Choc29 but all the best for next cycle and that this is the one for your BFP.

AF is due for me Sunday/monday. I’ve ordered some hormone tests from Randox health this morning as I just feel something is up. I could just be stupid and I know it is normal for it to take right up to a year to conceive but we’re moving onto month 11/12 and had nothing so feel so deflated and like something must be up.

Will try for the next couple of months and will then book a doctors appointment as well be well into a year TTC then.

MrsBP15 · 22/03/2024 12:24

I am on cycle 15 of ttc number 1 and have not had one positive test. One of the reasons for this is that I won’t test unless my period is late and as this has only happened twice, I haven’t had to deal with the disappointment of a negative test (other than those two times). I can’t lie it is still pretty gutting when I get my period but I tend to be prepared for that and it seems to be a little less heartbreaking than a bfn. Plus you have twice the disappointment when your period comes anyway. We are all different at the end of the day and all approach ttc differently but this has certainly helped me. I’m so sorry your period has arrived, sending you baby dust ✨

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