To try or not to try....? (TW-Loss)

[Bb542]

Hi everyone,

Looking for a bit of advice. I've just recovered from a miscarriage and exactly 4 weeks after the bleeding from the miscarriage started, I've come on my period today.
We're unsure whether to try again straight away or to wait. We do want to go again, but if we were to be lucky enough to have a successful pregnancy this time, the baby's due date would be Christmas Eve 🤔 I have learned the hard way that the timing of babies cannot be planned, but just wondering if anyone has a child with a Christmas birthday (or even any of you ladies)? Is it a bad idea? Should we skip a month?
I'm thinking of their future birthday parties, kids not coming because it's such a busy time of year etc. also thinking of all the expenses that come with having a birthday at Christmas 🤔

What do people think? I know I can't plan it, but we're just not sure whether to skip a month of trying.

Thanks so much for your advice!

Hi I'm I'm a very similar boat. Just finished my first period post MMC. I've decided to go for it. Due date would be around the middle of December if we were lucky to conceive this month. Its not an ideal month for a birthday but I don't want to hold off it there's a chance of it happening. Good luck with whatever you decide 🩷

You're right. I think once you've had a loss, having a favourite month for your baby to be born goes out the window. I'm sorry for your loss by the way and really hope this is your month ❤️

For me I don't care when a baby would be born now - choosing a time of year to have a baby is just a luxury that I just haven't been afforded with a 7 year journey with losses and no children yet. If someone is able to choose, then good for them, but if you're wanting to try I say go for it. I've had friends with birthdays close to Christmas and they had ways to make their birthday unique and special, none of them minded.

@Bb542 firstly, so sorry for your loss 🤍
But if you would have asked me this before TTC I would say definitely not certain months- I have always had dream months to have a baby in- mainly just not winter! And Yes, there are definitely some months I would prefer not too (like I said winter and those months with lots of family birthdays!) to but at this point for me I would just be so happy/relieved that we could have a baby. But I completely get your concerns and it’s something that does make me wonder, but at the same time I don’t think I could let a month go by without trying. Whatever you decide, good luck with it!

Thanks everyone. And I'm so sorry for your losses too.
I hope I didn't come across insensitive. I really didn't mean to. Like I said, having experienced loss myself, I would be so grateful to have a successful pregnancy at any time. However, I guess there's part of me that's hopeful the next one will be successful but I know whenever I fall pregnant I'll be so anxious and won't care when the baby is born.

When it's meant to be, it'll be. Wishing the best for you ladies ❤️

Hi, I'm so sorry for your loss. It really is tough.

We've had 4 miscarriages in the last 14 months & everytime we say we're not going to 'try' we always end up DTD because we don't want to miss an opportunity to possibly conceive again! One of our babies was due Boxing Day & we was really excited for our Christmas baby (well, we was excited for them all!) I'd take any month and date now 😦 I'm currently 2 months from my last miscarriage & due to ovulate tomorrow 🤣

You're so right. I think when it comes to ovulation time we won't be able to resist dtd 🤣🙈

I'm so sorry about your losses by the way. Hoping for the best for you this month ❤️

I wouldn't wait for that reason. But we did wait a couple of months after a MC, to give us time to recover emotionally. I wanted to make sure I was mentally ready to TTC again, and felt ready to handle another MC if it happened. I wouldn't rush into it if you don't feel ready, for the sake of one month. When your birthday is is really so irrelevant in the wider scheme of things.

@Bb542 so sorry for your loss. Like others on the thread, I stopped caring about due dates after 3 losses - just wanted a healthy baby! I think these things can be nice to plan but sometimes that goes out the window! I'm currently in 2nd trimester and feeling more hopeful. Baby due mid-August which wouldn't have been my first choice (youngest in the school year in England) but it's really not the end of the world.

My birthday is December 29th and whilst it's sometimes frustrating (all the fun things at one end of the year, never Summer presents, everyone broke/partied out etc) I've never minded too much. There are things I love about it. The whole season feels fun and magical. I was always off school. My presents under the Christmas tree ☺️, got to see lots of extended family in person, Pantomime shout-outs... It is what you make it! My family always made sure to celebrate separately to Christmas which was nice.

On another note, my niece was due on 29th Jan and came weeks early on 20th Dec! So even when thinking you've planned it, it can go awry!