Handhold please

[Alittlebitbroken]

I'm currently sat in a coffee shop, trying not to burst into tears again.

I got my period this morning. I was so hoping this one would work. I lost a pregnancy in December at 23 weeks and this would be the last cycle so I could be pregnant on my little boy's due date. I'm not pregnant.

I know it wasn't healthy to pin my hopes on this but now I don't know how to get through this day.

I know no one can make this ok, I just need a handhold, please.

I'm so sorry.

I so get this as I've been on a similar journey. Finding the strength month after month is so hard.

I can't offer any advice. Just a hand hold that it's s* you're not alone. 💐

So sorry, this truly is so difficult for you, making it harder when others around you have no idea what’s going on inside your head x

Oh bless you, I completely get you. I'm coming up to my due date from my MMC last year and not pregnant either. That said, the process took so long from start to finish and will have been even longer for you. So sorry that you are having to go through this and so sorry for your loss too. I have realised, sadly, that pregnancy and birth is not as clear cut as we wre lead to believe and some have a worse time than others with the process.
I wish you a healthy pregnancy very soon and you are absolutely not alone xx

I’m so sorry OP, I understand the need to be pregnant again before a due date comes around.
Im so very sorry about your loss in December

Getting pregnant gave me something to focus on and now it feels like an endless abyss moving forward without my little boy. I miss him so much.

I know my hormones won't be making things easier right now but it feels like I've lost him all over again.

I'm so sorry for your loss OP - I've had losses at 10 and 11 weeks and getting to the due dates for both of those without being pregnant again was hard enough, I can't imagine your pain with a loss at 23 weeks. It's impossible not to pin hopes on certain dates - for me it was "I could get pregnant on my birthday", "I could find out I'm pregnant on my partner's birthday", "I'll be pregnant again when we go on holiday", "I could find out I am pregnant the week of my due date". And then the heartbreak when I'm yet again not pregnant is awful.

It's truly horrible - sending you the biggest hugs xx

I'm so so sorry. TTC after loss is hard I know.

Cry, scream, walk, run, sleep, do whatever you need to do. We're all beside you.

You got this.

It's been so hard picturing how his due date will be. I thought I would be able to manage the day if I had something to look forward to, but instead I have to go back to work after the Easter holidays and do everything I wasn't meant to. I never questioned why it happened to us, or said that it wasn't fair but this feels so unfair. It could have been something to make everything the tiniest bit less painful but instead it's made everything worse.