TTC and remaining calm.

[CherryBlossom2024]

Hi ladies,
I hope you're having a lovely day.
I'm looking for some guidance or words of wisdom. My husband and I got married last year and we've been actively trying for a baby since October 2023 (early days). We also tried for a few months before our wedding but decided to put our plans on hold until after the wedding. So in total approx. 9 months of trying. I experienced a chemical pregancy a few years ago. We've both had fertility tests done late last year and everything came back great but my husband's morphology came back as 3%, the rest was fine! Consultant suggested back in September that we make an appointment in the new year if it hasn't happened for us by then which I felt is a bit too soon, it made me feel like there is something wrong or is it just a sales tactic. We've had a busy year going on holidays and now that we are back in the swing of things, regiously taking our supplements and a healthy diet and exercise - the 80/100 approach. I've had a few acupuncture sessions to keep my anxiety at bay as I feel this is having a massive impact on trying to conceive. But I can't help but feel its not going to happen for us, and I don't know why I have this feeling. I see so many posts on Instagram about what you need to do and I feel like I am doing the best I can but am I doing enough? The ladies on IG suggest so many foods to eat or what to avoid, what supplements to take etc it's really overwhelming! My acupuncturist suggested that I look into my immune system as a last resort and rule that out. I feel like we are still in our early days and perhaps I am jumping the gun a bit. But every month after ovulation, by the 3rd week I already feel crampy and I lose hope. It just feels exactly like AF is on the way. The acupuncture has helped and I don't feel as crampy so early on.

My question to you, do you think I am getting ahead of myself and how do you manage to keep the faith while trying to conceive? Thanks in advance and any tips or feedback would be appreciated! Xxx

I think the best thing to do is to give yourself a break.
I’m definitely not saying stop trying but stop listening to posts on IG. You’re doing so much and stressing yourself out!
I would recommend having some fun, going on date nights, having a few rubbish/ unhealthy dinners and trying to relax for a while. Keep dtd as often as you can but try take some pressure away from yourself as it’s most likely not helping.

Trust me, I know it’s easy to say. I ttc for over 2 years before I had my first positive pregnancy test. Everything was fine and there was no reason for not getting pregnant that my gp said it was just my stress levels were so high and It was most likely impacting it.

Honestly, stay away from any advice on social media. They are not qualified. Keep it simple - no alcohol or smoking, limit caffeine, balanced diet with lots of fresh, unprocessed foods, regular exercise that you enjoy. Given your tests are OK, there's a very good chance it'll happen - it can just take time. I went into it expecting it to take a year, that's normal. Do what you need to manage your mental health - keep busy, make fun plans with your partner and friends, plan holidays, days out. I think your consultant's suggestion is excessive, I assume this is private as NHS won't even consider you until it's been a year. So much of it is chance! Don't believe the social media stuff, I doubt any of it is based in proper science.

Hi ladies, thanks so much for your replies and my apologies for only getting back to you now! You're right, I'm taking care of myself to best of my abilities whilst enjoying my life as it is now. I think I can be a little bit hard on myself at times but aren't we all! Every month though I feel my period coming and I get pretty deflated knowing it didn't happen. Just get used to it I guess :) I told my acupuncturist I'm back training after taking some time off and was basically advised that second part of my cycle I shouldn't do HIIT classes or anything that involves jumping around so I feel like I am after wasting money on this new gym!

With regards to the fertility clinic, it's private so I definitely think it is sales motivated. Let's see how it goes this year!

Thanks again for your advice, I appreciate it!

It took us 18 months to conceive our first, then 1 month for second and just found out I’m pregnant with our third after 2 months. Sometimes the first one just takes ages, well for me anyway! 😅Don’t give up hope.

@Summer1111 wow that's amazing! Congrats and I hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy!

I would question that advice about exercise. NHS advice on exercise is you can continue what you did before pregnancy, if you feel ok, apart from anything contact based like kick boxing. If exercise helps you mentally, I’d keep going throughout.

I don't know if you drink or not but for me, I was trying for about 8 months, was getting nowhere, decided to give up alcohol and start meditating. I was pregnant after 7 weeks. I know quitting alcohol affected me as the month after I quit I had a really long period. Felt like I had a system reboot.

On the exercise front, I had also started jogging, playing squash and doing yoga when I got pregnant. Exercise is good for you. Obviously if you're doing stupid hardout stuff it wouldn't be beneficial. But some cardio and yoga would be great.

I did a really intense spin class the day it turned out I conceived (lots of going up and down on the bike and I worked up a proper sweat).

Restricting exercise seems a bit OTT and shouldn't be needed imo.

Seems silly to stop doing something that's good for you, both physically and mentally.

@Rosesanddaisies1 yes I agree with you. It definitely helps me mentally and I feel good doing it, I'll be mindful not to go overboard but I think 3-4 classes a week is fine! It's a combination of strength training and cardio. I took it easy this week, but still felt I got some kind of work out done!

@sidsparrownew I'm not really a big drinker! I have a fear of hangovers lol so I tend to have a couple glasses of wine once a month, if even. Wow fair play to you, that's a great combination 😀 yep you're right, I'm not doing anything crazy just the usual type of gym classes.

@Alloveragain3 my gym offers spin classes too, I loved it! Amazing how you knew when you conceived :) It's mad, I never even thought about all this before ttc, I feel like there is way too much info about what you can and can't do. It's very overwhelming!

Thanks for your advice ladies 😀 xx

Haha, I was crazy obsessive as I ended up TTC for 20 months. I was doing ovulation strips, timed intercourse, measuring temperatures and all that jazz.

Hopefully you fall soon, I know how all consuming it can be. Something like 90% of couples are pregnant within the year. :)