TTC living temporarily with in laws? Madness?

[vega147]

Would we be crazy to start trying?

Living with our lovely in laws while we finalise purchase of our house (just awaiting exchange and completion atm so hopefully not too long).

We'd said we wanted to start trying from early summer but I've been really wanting to start sooner. Have just missed my period from Feb (still using a barrier method and I genuinely think it is due to stress if not illness - my husband is on a work trip this week which potentially added to it. I'll take a test to rule anything out once he's back as that will bring it to 12 days late and I really feel since we're using contraception it's most likely illness or stress).

However this especially has me wanting to start trying basically ASAP. Both for the 'what if' feeling I'm getting with this delayed period, and the feeling that if there's something up with my health like PCOS or stress (I also had a delayed period in December that my GP put down to stress as I was having a lot of physical symptoms of stress/anxiety) - then I want us to start trying sooner to maximise our chances.

I'm 31F, my husband is 35. Would it be crazy to stop using contraception in March while we try and finalise on our house? Or should we just wait until we get into our own place?

Not crazy at all. Completely yours and your DHs decision. Best of luck x

It is your decision entirely of course. However, honestly, in your shoes I would concentrate first on reducing stress so can have a healthy pregnancy, and getting the house sale over with is probably a significant part of that. The move itself is also likely to come with stress, heavy lifting and carrying, etc which may not be conducive to the outcome you want from starting sooner. Of course, there is no harm in practicing though ;). Depends how you feel about being in-laws house, but I guess it may reinvigorate that teenage first love naughty excitement...

On a serious note, I have taken a good 9 months of actively reducing my stress levels before starting TTC to try and get my body and blood test results in the best possible position to be healthy after complete burnout at the start of last year, and I'm glad I've done that as I feel that I'm in a much better position to put my mind and body through pregnancy now. Pregnancy is a marathon, not a sprint.

I would wait until you’re settled in your home honestly, TTC & early pregnancy is such a stressful time without adding in a house move x

When are you expecting to finalise on your place? You'd be mad to TTC now if you're not planning on getting a new place until the end of the year or similar because that will not be a fun move! Also your in-laws probably didn't sign up to be living with a pregnant woman / baby, so they might not be thrilled 😂

Every woman is different but personally I started feeling sick and unbelievably tired about 2 weeks after conception in all my pregnancies and that lasted for about 4 months. It was incredibly difficult - constant nausea, vomiting and tired beyond belief. Very sensitive to smells, never knew what I wanted to eat. I personally wouldn’t have wanted to live with my in laws at this time, even though we get on. I needed privacy and my own surroundings where I could control things like cooking smells etc.

Some women sail through early pregnancy but a lot find it really difficult, so I’d give some thought to that and whether you’d want to be around your in laws a lot if you were nauseas, vomiting regularly and tired / extra emotional!

Thanks everyone! Decided to wait until we've exchanged on our house - DH is going to start chasing much more insistently this week. We're hoping to have completed by end of April so think it makes sense to wait until we've at least got those dates finalised. We had spoken about starting TTC from summer but both have baby fever!

I'll definitely take it on board about the stress. I'm a teacher and there's been times where it's really affected my health (I had to have an ECG in December after a bunch of symptoms from stress). I've just missed my period in Feb and had a negative pregnancy test so think it could be stress again or a thyroid condition I have or potentially because I began taking folic acid in Feb as research seems to recommend it preconception. So I need to get that sorted first anyway.

@vega147 Personally I wouldn’t waste time. Low chance of conceiving on first try. We’re ttc and about to start building a new house. What is your thyroid issue?

I have hypothyroidism (since 2012). I usually manage it fine and have regular cycles, it's just really strange I've missed the Feb one. I'm trying to see my GP this week for a blood test - I want to check my thyroid as my medicine was lowered over the new year.

That's interesting though well done for just going for it! I'm thinking I'll talk to my GP first especially with this missed period, I thought it might be confusing if we come off contraception while I've still not had one/my next one due in March.

@vega147 You definitely want to have your thyroid controlled as it has a big impact on fertility and pregnancy.

We temporarily lived with my parents last year while we purchased a house. It was supposed to be for a couple of months. Ended up being NINE months!!!

Things go wrong with house purchases. Best to wait until it's definite

There's zero guarantee the house purchase will go through, if you have an offer accepted, I'd wait until exchange. I'd say different if you were older.

You're overthinking this! The perfect time does not exist. Chuck out the condoms and get going.

I don't see the point in actively using contraception when you're in a stable relationship and both want a baby.

I also think you should bite the bullet and do a test today...

@vega147 it's a difficult one - my periods stopped for three months last year and it was the first ovulation following this that I fell pregnant which unfortunately ended in a miscarriage.

I read an amazing book called no period now what which helped me regain my cycle (I was exercising a lot, had low body fat and a lot of stress in my life).

I'm also 31 and we are now on our fifth cycle since the miscarriage and I'm still not pregnant.

If I could go back in time I would have started earlier because it can take longer than you think. If you definitely want a family and feel ready for it then I guess there's no harm in taking a relaxed approach until you get your own home and if it happens then it happens?

Thanks everyone. I saw the GP today, 2 negative pregnancy tests so that is ruled out. Getting a blood test for my thyroid this week as well.

We've also chased the solicitors and they're aiming for us to complete this month, obviously delays can happen. I'm leaning towards wait until my next period so I have some solid dates and then start trying, or until we've exchanged on the house (I think whichever comes first!) but I'll talk to DH in more depth.