TTC for five months, is this normal?

[DecemberRose19]

I know there are many people on here who have been trying, or tried, for years with multiple problems so I really hope this doesn't come across as insensitive.

However, I am feeling a little bit concerned about my own journey. I got pregnant accidentally with my now 7 year old. This was with my ex. I was on the pill but missed a couple. I then got pregnant a couple of years later again by accident, and by this point me and my ex were not sleeping together regularly at all, so again it's pretty amazing that this happened by accident. Unfortunately this pregnancy didn't make it.

Fast forward to now, I have been trying with my new partner but after four months of actively trying (and 2 months not using contraception but not actively tracking before this) I still haven't had my BFP. I honestly assumed it would be easy due to be seemingly getting pregnant very easily before. We've been tracking ovulation using Flo and ovulation sticks and following the sperm meets egg plan.

Could this be a sign that there may be an issue with my partners sperm? Or is this normal? I have a few friends who have got pregnant recently and it happened for them all within three months, sometimes first try.

I'm just looking for some reassurance really and whether I should be looking into whether there may be an issue? My partner has agreed to doing one of those at home sperm tests but wants to wait a couple more months.

I should mention that I'm 32 and he is 41. Both live healthy lifestyles.

Thank you!

I think it can be entirely random. My three pregnancies (all with the same partner) took 16 months, 12 months and one surprise after missing some pills. That one sadly ended a few days later in miscarriage and I've been TTC for 2 years now (but I'm 41 now so maybe not surprising...).

Sound perfectly normal - that doesn't make it any less frustrating though! Quite often we hear about it when people get pregnant quickly, or when it takes a really long time, but for a lot of couples 4-12 months is the norm but it's not spoken about! If you are worried then getting some fertility tests done for you and your partner isn't a bad idea (you'd have to pay privately at this stage). My partner did a semen analysis and all results (for him and for my fertility tests) are totally normal, but it took 6 months to get pregnant which we sadly lost, and we're going into month 8 now of trying again since that loss. It's no fun!

Very normal. NHS considers a year to be normal. I'd give it a few more months before doing anything.

Thanks everyone. I guess I just naively assumed it would be easy - I really hope it happens soon, I feel like its all I can think about! I keep reading statistics like 80% of healthy couples should conceive within 6 months.

Very normal. Took 13 months to conceive with my 1st.

Started trying for our 2nd and had a chemical in the 1st month, followed by a pregnancy the next month, now 29 weeks pregnant. It's all random really xx

Thank you - do you know approximately how much these tests are privately?

Oh gosh I hope it happens for you soon. Especially after loss, it must take a lot of strength ❤️

It won't do any harm to have a look at the supplements recommended in It Starts With The Egg. Ubiquinol and methyl folate for both you and your partner, along with a high dose vitamin C supplement, and your regular antenatal multivitamin, if I remember rightly.

Also being as fit and healthy as possible, ie try to exercise and have a healthy BMI, if you don't already (you and your partner both).

Hi ladies. I'm so glad to find this post this evening! I have two little ones who were both conceived quickly and fell pregnant as a surprise last summer..I sadly found there was no heartbeat at the 12 week scan. This was September. We decided to try and have been trying since and just not falling pregnant. I'm gutted as my due date is fast approaching and I never imagined I wouldn't be pregnant by this stage.

I'm on a ttc after MC group here and every month there's positives and I'm just still there. I had my hormones checked and they are normal and at a good level to support pregnancy. So I just don't know what's going on. I feel helpless and really quite sad about it to be honest and wondering if I should actually continue to keep trying as it seems to be more heartbreaking each period.

Nice to have a space to chat with others who can relate! Sorry if overshared. It clearly needed to get out 😂

So I guess for me OP @DecemberRose19 5 months is also the norm too xx

Think you have to take in to account that your that bit older trying to conceive this time around though you are by no means old, age plays a role and it might just take that bit longer l, most friends I have took a lot longer to get pregnant all in their 30's. But having said all that there would be no harm having your bloods taken to check hormone levels and make sure your ovulating and get his swimmers checked, we tried for 2 years and turned out my partner had a very low sperm morphology but once we knew what we were dealing with we were able to fix it .

I think part is luck and part is health/genes. We were 3 months. I was 37, husband 41 at time however I have friends same age and it took 5 years, no fertility issues found and eventually IVF for them to get their little one. The NHS states a year is normal but I'm guessing that'll be an average. As some have said perhaps give it a little longer and then see about speaking to a GP.

Yes it's the feelings of helplessness isn't it? I just hate feeling so out of control, and I really don't know if I have the strength to do this every month for a year or maybe years. But it's something we both so desperately want. I wish we'd started trying sooner but we were waiting for certain things to be in place first financially etc.

I hope it happens for you soon but always here for a chat... I feel guilty posting as I have a child already and I know it's not been long in the grand scheme of things but I am finding it difficult.

This actually happened to a couple I know - it must be so hard having nothing knowingly wrong and having to go through all that. I'm very glad they got they're little one in the end though ❤️

I wonder if the NHS fund IVF if one person has a child already but the other doesn't?

Honestly after 5 months you need to chill out a bit. 5 months is nothing. It can take a year in perfectly healthy young people. When you get into your 30's things aren't quite as fast. If it hasn't happened after a year, that is the time to see a doctor.

Thank you, yes I'm sure age does come in to it a bit. I might look into a private appointment, if we can afford it!

What sort of things can help issues with sperm do you know? My partner is very healthy - very active, eats well, doesn't drink excessively or smoke (he did vape occassionally until a few months ago though). There may not be a problem but just out of interest incase there is?

Currently taking conceive plus supplements (both for fertility support and him also sperm support) which I think includes all these! And we are both very active and healthy.

We do drink sometimes (not in the TWW) but not excessively. Wondering whether I should stop altogether but also would be annoying if it ended up taking years 😅

@circlesand I've had all my children in my 30s and has happened quickly. Only now for me it is taking longer. Think it's harder when you've conceived quickly previously and then it's not happening. You can't help but worry. Think this is how op feels.

@DecemberRose19 my partner cut down on caffeine he drank a lot of coffee , cut out all alcohol as basically every time you drink your kind of back to square one and supplements like high strength CoQ10 , Maca root, zinc & selenium. I came across a couple called fab and ell on YouTube that had trouble conceiving and basically followed what they did they got pregnant with twins worth having a look and watching their video where they go through everything they did I definitely think it helped us.

I've been TTC for 5 years with various fertility treatments, I've had the works, so I know how she feels. But 5 months at the age of 32 and 41 is nothing, so I am saying to give it a bit longer and it's completely normal.

@circlesand Thanks for sharing that and I'm genuinely so sorry you've been through all of that.

I've been TTC for 6 months now since my baby had no heartbeat at the scan. I've been extremely lucky to not have to try for long with my children and was always very very grateful for that. This world of loss and TTC (I know 6 months is nothing, it feels like an eternity though lol)is new to me and it is very humbling.

It has really showed me the unbelievable strength that women like yourself have and it certainly does put things into perspective too. I think once you're in this world you hear of more and more things and pregnancy/ having babies is never the same again!

I was ready to give up this month as finding the mental side hard but actually hearing from some of you on here has given me a bit of hope so thank you! (Sorry for all the over sharing this afternoon must be impending period!!)

@Claudiasaz Glad to hear the thread has helped you and you are completely right, it can be really hard even after what is a relatively short time, especially when you want something so much.

I would say though that I do not have unbelievable strength, I'm just a normal person that has gone through difficult things, like many other normal people (like yourself). We all have strength.