Not pregnant after 6 months of ttc and 8 years of rhythm method /withdrawal

[breadandroses92]

I am 31 (32 this year) and my husband and I have been ttc for 6 months but no success yet. Prior to that we used the withdrawal method for 8 years including 6 months of rhythm method ( would pull out when ovulating based on calendar method). Does this seem weird to any of you!?

I have never been pregnant, even as a 22 year old newly wed having sex daily and solely relying on withdrawal method. I know other people who say they have used withdrawal method successfully for years but they also got pregnant very quickly!

Just want to say we have been doing the pullout method since 2008 and haven't fallen pregnant yet either, this is our first month TTC, we did visit the fertility clinic for sperm, blood and scans all come back ok, they said if it dont happen then would be classed as unexplained infertility.

im 34 hubby 39

So do they want to try for a year then before referring you to ivf and other interventions

They said i can have until the age of 40 to have ivf funded for me, and that i could go straight to it now, but wanted to try for a bit of time doing it naturally to see if it happens, but if nothing come maybe 6/8 months will go back to them i think

Wow they consider you infertile if you haven't gotten pregnant using the pull out method!

Completely normal - I think we have it drummed into us at school that any time you have sex you will become pregnant! Which is obviously not true. My husband and I used the rhythm method for 5 years and had no “mistakes” (perfect use) so I was thinking that something must be up. However I am now 5 weeks pregnant and keeping fingers crossed!
I am 32 as well by the way, so know how you feel.

I’m a similar age to you and also TTC for our first, this is our second cycle as on our first it didn’t happen for us. We also used the pull out method for a good 6 months and no accidents so I’m a bit nervous as well.

I’m not sure if it’s weird but I completely get where you’re coming from as I’m also very nervous there’s something wrong that we just haven’t spotted yet. I’m thinking of giving it six months and then paying for private fertility tests to get checked. I’m tracking ovulation and will be testing pdg this month so hopefully that will give some indication if the basics are working. Have you tried that as a first step?

Don't think it's weird.
We used withdrawal methods for 20 years until DH vasectomy with 2 kids in the middle of that.
One of our DC took 7 months to conceive.
I think up to a year is fine though frustrating.
Stay healthy, have plenty of sex when you have ewm and try not to worry.
Good luck

Only a small percentage of men have sperm in their precum. Therefore if this doesn't apply to your partner and if done correctly (big if) then withdrawal is a very effective form of birth control. I'm on my 2nd pregnancy, both conceived at 3 months with a 2-3yr history of using withdrawal/ rhythm.

It's not weird.

It's only when you start TTC that you realise it's not as easy as you have had drummed into you over the years.

It can take a year (or more) even in healthy, fertile people. If all your tests have come back fine then there is a very high likelihood that it will happen.

I know you've been doing the withdrawal method but if you've been doing that properly then you wouldn't get pregnant - it has a high failure rate because people fail to actually withdraw!

You'll need to wait a year for IVF etc referrals and that is for good reason - I speak from personal experience when I say that IVF is not something you want to go through lightly. It's not an easy route.

Also, there are many people clogging up IVF waiting lists who have actually only been trying a few months but are trying to get ahead of the game, so they lie and say they've been trying longer.

They then get pregnant naturally in a completely normal timeframe (a year).

Please don't be one of those entitled people taking the place of someone who actually needs help (not saying you will - but please just be aware).

Just for some hope, I am 27, currently 20 weeks pregnant with my first child, who took 14 months to conceive!! Having not been on any contraception and using the pull out method also for years. I had tests done by GP all came back normal, referred me to a fertility clinic after 12 months and the next 2 I was pregnant! If I've learnt anything ttc is stressful if you let it be, the month I got pregnant I had given up hope of it happening naturally and stopped 'trying' in my brain!! It will happen. Good luck xx

Really? I find it hard to believe anyone would just sign themselves up for IVF willy nilly, it sounds like an incredible invasive and emotionally taxing procedure. I also assume that if you go to the GP with conception problems they’ll give you all sorts of tests and try fertility stimulating drugs before sending you for ivf?

I know, but sadly yes, really.

A lot of people don't realise how difficult fertility treatment can be, physically and emotionally, so they think it's a fast track if they don't get pregnant straight away.

Yes they will give you all the tests but unexplained fertility is a thing, so if you claim you have been trying long enough then of course they will think intervention is needed. They might not go straight to IVF (but they might, because it's the most effective), but even then, you are wasting precious appointments that could be for someone who actually needs them.

The waiting lists are so long, partly because they are clogged up with these people.

Then, poof, you're pregnant because you'd actually only been trying 6 months and there's nothing wrong, and you've wasted a load of NHS time and resources.

We also used your method and weren’t classed as infertile. I’ve never heard of that. Can be very effective if done properly.

I think the chances of getting pregnant are about 20% a month, so it’s not as easy as you think. The average person takes a year to get pregnant, so I don’t think there is anything to worry about just yet.

Interesting (and appalling!). Our plan is to have private fertility testing after 6 months to check everything is working but we definitely wouldn’t be starting the ivf journey if needed until the year mark. I really see it as a last resort as I can only imagine that the 2ww is even worse with ivf transfers.

There is a book called Taking Charge Of Your Fertility and it explains a LOT about your cycle, with detailed charging to determine the length of your luteal phase and so on. It tells you a lot about your cycle, and it showed me that my fertile window was considerably earlier than less detailed charting would have suggested.

We also used charting as birth control for two years before switching to using it for ttc.

Is that the book you used to learn about it? If not, I suggest reading it to see when your fertile days really are.

Sadly not uncommon. I was the exact same and it took me over 2 years ttc before I finally fell pregnant.
I seen a lovely gp when I had been trying for 11 months and over 8 years of using no contraception. The gp said it is more likely to conceive after a year of trying and she didn’t want to put me down for any fertility treatment as the waiting list was full of people who were older and were trying for a lot longer so she felt it wasn’t fair- I understood this completely as my brother and his wife were waiting a long time.

I know you hear all these stories of people falling pregnant straight away but sadly it is far more common for lots of us to take a bit longer and I don’t feel 6 months is that long ttc. I say this through experience and I know it’s upsetting and frustrating each month when you test and symptom spot.
It might be worth going through tests just to check everything but also keep up your healthy lifestyle, try relax and have some fun to take some of the pressure off too.

I think it is normal to take up to 2 years to try naturally. In all the families I know who never stopped trying after the first child they have multiple kids where a 2-3 year gap is normal. I count trying as anything not using contraception or withdrawal.
If I were your age and I speak in hindsight I would like to rule out a few things before bothering the Gp and you can do this in this year you have before you approach them.
I would get a blood test to rule out thyroid problems and any deficiencies including vitamin D. If you don’t have regular periods and other symptoms then ruling out PCOS. I would probably order the fertility blood test too just to make sure hormone levels are normal. (Privately medi checks). After this is all normal and you have some peace of mind keep trying for a year you could use ovulation sticks just to work out what a normal time of ovulation is for you, not recommending you use them religiously. Lastly I do recommend the book it starts with the egg, it really helped educate me on fertility and after three months of following it and supplementing for being low in DHEA and vitamin D, i got pregnant.

That’s really helpful thank you. Do you have any recommendations where we can get fertility blood/vitamin checks or is it just a case of asking the GP?

this book (by Toni Wechlser) is amazing and should be recommended to anyone who is started to think about fertility! try this first OP@breadandroses92 as you will learn far more about your particular cycle. i found out i was only ovulating 2 out of every 3 cycles plus i didn't ovulate 'til around day 21 (so any hormone tests offered by the GP were going to be inaccurate as everything is based on an average 28 day cycle). 6 months of actively trying is really nothing and you were probably just very lucky with withdrawal method! if anyone needs a test i would always suggest getting your husband to get his sperm tested first.

It's common to take a year, with properly trying. You really do have to catch those few days prior to and the day of ovulation, so it's not that surprising you didn't get pregnant before.

Yeah as we had had some times where he didn't pull out aswell or was too late

As my bloods and my scans where ok but do have cysts but they say its not pcos as well and my hubby's semen was ok

We went to the gp they first requested for my scan and my bloods and hubby's semen when they come back ok we was referred to fertility clinic, we didnt have a long wait either had bloods and semen Jan to march then saw fertility clinic in June