Hi all,
I’m not sure what the purpose of this is but I guess I just need to put it out there in hopes that someone can potentially understand!
Me and my husband having been TTC baby number 1 for 7 months now- which is not a long time in terms of baby making at all. But long enough for me and him to become completely overwhelmed and exhausted. We have done everything ‘right’- taking all the vitamins, sex every other day (or least every 2 days), OPK testing, BBT, cutting down on alcohol and caffeine and still nothing.
But the kicker is- not one but two relatives have got pregnant within a month or 2, very recently. Including my younger sister who I’m very close with and have been going on this TTC journey with.
My sister was very nervous telling me due to us trying 6 months longer than her- but of course we were very happy for her and her partner (a niece/nephew to love ❤️) but when we got home we were heartbroken but put a plan in place to help us process the whole shitiness of the situation.
For some bizarre reason, me and my husband decided that same night that we found out about my sisters pregnancy for him to use the sperm count home test we bought the previous week- I think we just hoped for some reassurance that everything was ‘okay’ with both of us (I had done a couple of tests to check I was ovulating and all good), so we could tell ourselves that it’s just a matter of time until we got that BFP. But no… the test came back abnormal (my husband did realise after he did the test that he only abstained from sex for 2 days rather than the 3 days that the test required- so we’re holding on to hope with that). So stupidly we got a double whammy of an intense night.
That was a couple of weeks ago- in that time we’ve managed to book in for a private couples fertility assessments and my husband has had his sperm analysis already and I’m going for my blood test tomorrow and my scan on the 20/02. With our consultation booked in for the 27/02. We’re nervous to say the least for the results but ‘looking forward’ to having answers and knowing the next steps whether that’s keep plugging along or more tests or whatever else.
I’m just wondering if anyone has any advice- I’m worried about screwing up this whole situation for my sister and her partner (their first baby together), my mum and dad (their first grandchild) and even my nanna and grandma. But I’m sad and angry at it not coming easy for us- we didn’t expect it to happen straight away. It was me and OH who had to curb my MIL who had said for years that we’ll conceive first time- like her and my FIL and my BIL and SIL did with their little girl. We were preparing ourselves to be realistic but secretly hoping that it would be quick like our relatives.
We don’t know how long we will be on this journey and we have some tough times ahead of us with up and coming baby celebrations and general trying.
I really don’t want mess it up this experience for anyone- but I keep getting either upset or angry and sometimes with those closest to me who just tell me to relax, stay positive or along those lines.
Today has been really crap with dealing with all the emotions- yesterday was a family kids parties will all my cousins and their children- but I’m more upset after finding out my Nan and grandma found out about my sister’s pregnancy yesterday (they both know me and my husband are TTC and have tests coming up and I talk to them often about the subject) and neither of them have messaged/contacted me. I just feel a little miffed that they haven’t checked up on me- my mum said it’s because they probably won’t know what to say but I don’t really feel like that is really fair… but I might be over emotional/over reacting about this because of all my feelings over yesterday.
Like I said, I don’t know the purpose of this- it’s just a rant and to say to any one who is TTC that it’s really tough journey and wishing baby dust to you all ✨