Faint line, negatives, gutted and just looking to vent

[Bluebella27]

All last week was feeling very nauseous, had food aversions, cramping, light headed.
Took a test at 6dpo on Friday just passed (I know ridiculously early but symptoms were so strong) there was the faintest line on the dip test, couldn't believe it! These dip tests have never come up with evaps in the 3 months I've been using them so I felt hopeful. Have tested since and not so much as a shadow, couldn't be more negative. I know it's still early, I'm not due AF until weekend but my symptoms now are just cramping like my period is coming on. I feel absolutely gutted.
Have been trying properly for 3 cycles and this would be my 3rd pregnancy. It took me 3 cycles to conceive both my children so was stupidly feeling hopeful but my hopes just feel dashed the longer these cramps continue.
I think I feel the pressure as my beautiful first son passed away at 9.5 months in 2020, my almost 2 year old I just feel isn't meant to grow up without a sibling. Lots of emotions all the time on the subject.
Thanks for reading if you're still there! I'm so over TTC and testing. It's utterly exhausting

I’m so sorry about the loss of your little boy, it must make ttc even harder.
I think you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself. I know you were hoping for the same as before but as you know every pregnancy is different.
It’s possible that you are pregnant, don’t give up hope until your period arrives!
Id try avoid early testing, I’ve done it so many times and got my hopes up, its heart breaking when your period then turns up.
There’s still plenty of time to give your little one a sibling. if it doesn’t happen this month then who knows, might happen next month!

I'm going to echo what was said above me. I lost my first child at 28 weeks pregnant so I know the feeling you're talking about. I always feel like she IS a sister and she'd make such a good one! My heart goes out to you and the loss you feel!

You're still very early, don't count yourself out just yet and whilst I feel the frustration 3 cycles isn't very long at all! It'll happen when it's meant to :)

@Kirkikins I'm so sorry about your late loss, absolutely heartbreaking.

Thank you for taking the time to comment 🩷
I'm feeling pressure from many areas, the every day grief for my son but also my age, I'm 35 (can't believe it).
But wise words, I can't control anything and need to get back on it next month.
sigh
Honestly, TTC is just so thought congratulj

Thought consuming that was supposed to say!

I wanted just to jump in to give some support. I lost my twin sons at 28 weeks - 12 weeks ago. After no movement , found out one twin was stillborn and I had to take my other gorgeous boy off life support 4 days later. Its utterly heartbreaking and I hope you are ok. I'm 33 and thought I'd have a living child if not two at this stage.

I've actually started trying again too because my home feels so empty. They were my first babies. Sending hugs to you xxx

Oh @Ella31 I'm so so sorry for your losses, thank you for commenting.
Love and strength to you ❤️

My condolences for the heartbreak people on this thread have experienced.

@Kirkikins I'm so sorry for your loss, utterly heartbreaking 💔
Thank you for commenting

How are you today @Bluebella27 , loss is unbelievably difficult. When you have to bury your own child , it's something very few people can understand if they haven't experienced it. It's a club no one wants to be part off.

And then there's the ttc again. That alone is terrifying, hard and so utterly disappointing when it isn't happening. Be kind to yourself. You aren't alone in this awful journey.

@Kirkikins sorry for your loss. I was a week ahead of you when I lost my sons. Still trying to grieve the loss but after 3 months we are now trying again. Its scary though.

How is everyone? Xx