TTC - Need some advice!

[Moonlight287]

Hi everyone :)

I've been trailing the archived threads for a while and decided I would join and create my own thread as I am losing the will and need some advice!

I came off the pill in September 2023 after being on it for 14 years and myself (31) and husband (32) TTC the following month.

In October 2023 I used CB Advanced OPK and got three highs and then a peak on CD19 (cycle was 30 days). BFN.

The next cycle I started CB OPK on CD9 and after 8 days of flashing, no static/peak I gave up testing because it was causing me too much stress. (28 days).

Then it was Christmas and honestly, I just was too busy to be faffing about, so we decided to skip a month. Now, after reading the forums, I realise I may O later and therefore missed/stopped testing too early in cycle 2. Christmas cycle was 25 days.

Now starting again in January 2024 with a fresh go now we have a better understanding of OPKS/O etc as to be honest, we were just winging it haha!

So this cycle, I am currently on CD21 and I have been using CB since CD10 and have consistent flashing smiley, no peak. I have also bought the other CB tests which is the two day one, they are still blank. I have also bought cheapies which I have been using since CD16 as the afternoon test as I read to try doing it in the PM as well might be better.

So I am just stressed, since the very first time in October 23 I got my peak (which was without any actual proper planning or tracking) and since then, I am failing to find it. What makes it difficult is that DH has 'difficulties' and so we have to AI at home, rather than BDing so timing is so so crucial.

I am wondering if I have missed it or my cycles are a bit out of whack still. My thought was when AF arrives (as I am very doubtful this month - again), to test every single day so I get a better understanding of when I may O. I know it is expensive but it might be worth it for one month to get a better idea. However then I am worried it is going to cause me more stress doing that as what if I don't get a peak again :(

The only thing is slightly reassuring is I have had a peak before on the first one so I don't know what is going on :')

It is making the whole process so stressful, clinical and I am exhausted with it all.

Any advice or reassurance would be amazing.

Thanks x

Hi! It’s all really really stressful, people will say ‘oh you’ve only been trying a short time, don’t stress’ but that doesn’t really help if you’re stressed!

When TTC I was using the clear blue ovulation tests, but they’re so expensive I moved to the Premom strips and app. One day I randomly tested twice and the morning was negative, evening was peak and the morning was negative again. So genuinely you could miss it. The other thing with the Premom is you can see it rising and then falling, whereas Clearblue is just a yes or no.

I’m now 6 weeks pregnant. I got too stressed by testing so stopped, went by what my typical cycle was (28 days, ovulate at 14), made sure to have sex for 5 days in the lead up to ovulation on the app and then once I had EWCM (google egg white cervical mucus if you don’t know) I had sex as much as possible. Trusting my body (and annoyingly more sex than I’d want) worked!

I hope that might help? Good luck!

So I track my bbt and starter using ovulation tests for the first time last month. Found them really stressful and in the end my bbt was a much better indicator of when I ovulated. I am in early pregnancy now and if I ever ttc again won't bother with ovulation tests.

I'm trying OPKs this month as no idea when/if I ovulate. I've been testing every day, often twice a day got eight days and still non the wiser. Certainly more stressed though!

It can take at least six months to adjust from being off the pill. Everyone is different though, took me a year to even get a period after the pill! So I'd suggest slowing down a bit. Enjoy DTD, especially if you feel like it (that's a good sign). But until you're getting regular periods the rest of it might just make you even more stressed.

Hello all

Thank you so much for all your replies :)

I will absolutely take on all of your advice.

I actually think doing these OPKs is more stressful than just going with it! The very first time I tried I just did it as a bit of a chance and it came up peak and now when I'm actively trying to look at it again, I can't find it

It's all a bit of a minefield to me!

Xx

Hello :)

Buckle up for a long but hopefully helpful story 🤣.

I tracked for three months (not intensely, just to see what my body seemed to be doing and gain any insights) before we started TTC. I'd had a Nexplanon implant removed prior to that, but I was lucky my period came back within five weeks.

I use the CB digital monitor, the CB advanced tracker and I started using OPKs this month. I did try BBT, but I haven't had much luck as the thermometer I bought was faulty.

September to November, I used the CB monitor (biggest machine pictured) and it has worked really well for me. They're not cheap, but I bought mine off eBay for less than half price and it came with a load of sticks too. The lady was selling it as she fell pregnant first time with it. I set it up on day 4 of my period and test from day 8 onwards with first morning urine (it tells you what days to test). I got peaks on either CD 13 or 14 for all three months.

For November, I also got a CB advanced digital tracker (smaller machine with the flashing and static smileys). I found it difficult to get on with as it kept telling me to eject the tests and wasted quite a few. Then, on a random day I decided to test with it in November (I wasn't properly using it at that point), it gave a static smiley on the same day the monitor said peak.

In December, I set the monitor up as usual and then proceeded to test for 20 days solid before giving up. It was the first time neither of them detected ovulation and I was gutted because that was our first month actually trying. The monitor said 'High' for eighteen days because it never detected a peak.

In the first week of January, I had weird sensations and took a pregnancy test, which was positive. I HAD ovulated, but neither machines picked it up. I had no idea at the time, but I was probably testing when my urine was too dilute and you can only do one test a day on the monitor. Sadly, that pregnancy ended in a chemical. We decided to try again this month as my period seemed relatively normal, but after what happened in December, I decided to try OPKs as a fail safe.

I started testing on CD 8 again with the monitor and OPKs and found my OPKs were consistently very faint. The monitor said 'High' from day 10. I posted here about my faint OPKs and someone said not to use first morning urine as it can take a few hours for the hormone to build up in your system. So I waited an extra two hours from when I'd usually test and then did the OPKs and both machines. The results are in the picture below.

It's a long story, but hopefully it will help you. It can take months of trial and error to get results that you can work with. There's a reason it takes quite a long time, on average, to conceive! Even when we know, a lot of it is still guess work and there's never a guarantee of a positive test even if you do catch ovulation happening.

Even if the tests say it hasn't happened, it might still be happening and the tests may just be a bit too early or two late. I tested twice a day (AM and PM) and found 10:30am, second wee of the day, and not drinking anything at all until after I'd tested was the only way to see results on my OPKs.

If you have any questions about anything I've mentioned, ask away :). We're all in this together.

Oops, would help if I actually attached the photo!

@KittyFantastica

Thank you so much for sharing this story! It just goes to show that it is all a bit trial and error with it all.

I think in my head the first cycle I used OPK it worked perfectly, 3 days high then peak but since then it's all gone a bit downhill and I'm more confused 🤣

One of the other issues is I have is a ridiculously strong bladder so I rarely need to go 🥲🥲 I always need the loo first thing then I can literally go all day without needing so testing all the time is a nightmare 😂 I can't even force myself to pass urine or try to go, nothing happens 🙈😂 DH calls me a camel cos I just store water 🥲

What I would say is that I feel so much more comforted speaking to you all as this has just been going round in my head for days and I'm not telling anyone in 'real life' about any of it so it's nice to have others to speak to ☺️
Xx

So after following advice, I have just done another test on a cheapie midstream one and this is the result. Today at 10.45am.

What are we thinking?

My CB test I did at 8am was blank circle.

🥲

@Moonlight287 It really does help just being able to talk about it with others who understand, doesn't it? I've got no one to speak to about it in real life either. My husband is fantastic, but I think it gets a bit much for him sometimes because it's not his body and there's not much else he can do but be ready to go when needed 😆.

I WISH my bladder was like this! I can barely go an hour without needing to go whether I've had anything to drink or not! In that case, late morning and few bathroom visits, or maybe you're an evening ovulater?

I'm not an expert with OPKs, but I'd say the line give just got is a good one. It's not quite peak, but it looks like it's getting there. If you have enough of them, I'd do another one in the evening today and then another tomorrow around the same time late morning and compare. I think the starting point is the best way to discern progress. Do you use the Premom app? I've found it invaluable using OPKs for the first time. I've put a picture of mMy OPKs below.

I clearly have a very sudden and steep peak, which would also explain why I've never had a flashing smiley, only ever none to static!

My understanding is that it has to be darker than the control line for it to be a proper surge. But I don't recognise that brand in your photo.

I was going to post this earlier but forgot, my lines have been mostly dark but not darker then the control line since CD10. So I don't think I've ovulated yet, I just have a higher baseline of LH (due to PCOS).

I would agree with what's been said above, about testing with OPK and clearblue advance. Am trying ttc currently myself, first month of using them in December I got my peak on CB advance and a stripe on CD16. No success unfortunately and my period came earlier than expected which has helped me to understand my Luteal phase is shorter than normal. I get 10 days after ovulation and on 11th get my period. January cycle comes around and am testing in the morning on Easy home ovulation test and clearblue advanced. I was only testing in the morning and completely managed to miss my peak through either diluated urine or just wrong time to test. My period came on even earlier than I expected as I had ovulated at Cycle day 14, only indication was a slight spike on CD13 in my test. I should of been testing twice a day am and pm but wasn't. We completed missed in this cycle due to me expecting it later in my cycle, but again it confirmed my luteal phase. This cycle has been so much better of that front. I been testing twice a day. On Tuesday afternoon I got indication of increase in LH, so tested again in the evening and it had dramatically increased, indicating I was due to peak soon, also got a solid smile on clearblue when earlier it had been flashing. Shows how quick your LH can surge. Next morning got my peak on the easyhome stripes, took until this morning for it to fully drop, as was still high yesterday afternoon.

I also came of the pill at end of september and we been trying since, cycle been a bit odd, as number of days has dropped but I seemed to be ovulating a bit earlier than in previous cycles. Not sure if that's due to taking supplements, or just my cycle getting settled.

I am hopeful for this cycle as caught my peak and got the timing right for BD during this fertile window. Should of ovulated either yesterday or today.

Hi @Moonlight287 it is all a bit of minefield.

As the image @KittyFantastica shared the premom tests are great, they are also a lot cheaper than CB. Test twice a day and hopefully you'll record a darker strip. Also remember that ovulation occurs 24-48 hours after the LH peak and the egg lives for 24hours, so you are most fertile from that point onwards for a couple of days. But if you've been BD (or AI) a few days before the LH peak, that it is also possible to conceive from that.

I use the premom strips plus tracking basal temp and in combination this is an accurate way to identify ovulation. However basal temp increases post ovulation, so is helpful to confirm it, but too late to use as an indicator to try and conceive.

Good Luck!

I'd echo using Easy@home ovulation strips and logging them in the Premom app.

I personally don't bother testing in the morning most of the time - I generally test once a day at about 4pm after my period finishes and then multiple times per day from about CD11.

I test at 3pm, 7pm and 11pm. And then because I'm mad, I often test first thing as well. 🤣 I try to limit my fluid intake and hold urine until I've tested each time.

I generally get my peak on CD13 at about 7pm, by the next morning it's low again.
If I only tested in the mornings I'd never see my peak. It goes from nothing to high and then back down again very quickly.

Hi all

Honestly thank you all so much for your replies and advice 🥹

I've been sat just going round and round in my head for days. I get anxious anyway so it's nothing new for me to be worried or stressing 😂

Listening to you all, I think I need to definitely look at the Premom and strips and track next cycle that way. That might help me see the difference rather than just yes and no. If I see that stupid flashing face one more time I'm going to scream 🤣

It's hard to know my cycle as it's been very stop start with testing. It seems to be averaging out around 28 but until a few more cycles I can't be sure.

The next thing will be worrying about if I do ovulate late having a short LP 🙈

Honestly I've been so religious with my pill for years not wanting to conceive and now I'm ready, it's a full blown operation and definitely not as easy 🤣

Xx

yea I was the same with the pill and my husband was really anxious about pregnancy even when I was on it, I think he kind of learned now through a couple of my cycles, that it's not so easy to get pregnant. Unless your my friend who had come of the pill but wasn't actively trying and got lucky with dtd twice in the month and now is pregnant. Just hoping this cycle we are succcesful

@shoto2024 totally understand that!

Literally all my friends have children and seemed to get pregnant really quick and I'm more of a later bloomer in terms of wanting a family 🙈

My friends keep saying 'don't have kids' and 'your lucky you don't have to worry etc' little do they know all this I'm going through 🥹😫

Still I find it more comfortable talking on here than in real life about it haha!

Xx

Hi @Moonlight287 just wanted to add similar to what other posters have said.
I came off the pill in the summer, and didn’t do any tracking. Luckily fell pregnant but it ended in MC. Since then I’ve been using the pre mom app & ovulation sticks to try & figure out my cycle. I’ve been testing twice a day and find it really useful.
Have been trying clear blue, but it’s so expensive when my cycles aren’t regular yet, and i just prefer pre mom. The app is really useful. I think it’s a cheaper alternative to try figure your cycles out.

Good luck, this whole process is confusing & stressful x

Hi @Figtree11

So sorry to hear about your MC 🤍

It's so stressful and difficult to navigate through, I'm finding the more I'm hearing and reading, it's all a bit of a trial and error situation.

It definitely sounds like premom is going to be the way forward. I think it'll help me see what's going on instead of waiting for those smiley faces!

CB is so expensive to be trialling and I think being able to see the difference on the strips may give me more confidence

Xx

With all the kindness, it's been 4 months. Stop tracking, just have plenty of sex throughout the month and enjoy yourself. And get off Mumsnet. And tell your friends if their comments are annoying/upsetting you, their comments are totally inappropriate. And be skeptical when others tell you they got pregnant without any effort! And remember - positive pregnancy test does not equal baby.

Hi all!

Just a quick update.

I followed advice about testing later so instead of FMU, I've just done one now at 1.45pm and got my static smiley!! CD22

Can't believe it 🤣

I thought I was done this month 🥹

12.45 that should say! Oops

Yaaaaas, @Moonlight287! So happy you caught it. If nothing else, it will reassure you that it is happening whether ovulation tracking or not. Good luck!

@KittyFantastica

Absolutely! That was my concern but it is so reassuring ☺️☺️

Thank you for all your advice!

If not successful this time, I'm definitely going to do pre mom next cycle, the anxiety of waiting for these smiley faces are no good 🤣

Xx