TTC after miscarriage

[Frankie2607]

Hi all - I had a traumatic miscarriage at 14wk3d in November last year. This is now our second cycle TTC after it, and I’m just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to deal with the TWW and the mental side of trying again? I feel like I’m actually going crackers and am over analysing EVERYTHING. We just want to be pregnant again so badly 😔

Any advice or positive stories would be greatly appreciated x

@Frankie2607 hello lovely, firstly I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. This journey is one that no one can ever prepare you for mentally.

I'm in a similar boat I guess, I had an early MC around the 6w mark in September and I'm currently 11dpo on our 4th cycle since, with no joy.

I feel the exact same way, i just constantly feel like this is never going to happen for us.

I actually had a private internal pelvic scan a few weeks ago which helped put my mind at rest in knowing that anatomically everything is how it should be. I spoke with my doctors who recommended I have some blood tests done next cycle to measure hormone levels.

I'm pretty sure I'm out this month as my tests are negative and I've had some spotting today, which I usually get before AF.

BUT all that being said, I feel a slight bit of reassurance in the fact that my doctors are testing my hormones. I drive myself crazy every month when the test is negative telling myself there's something wrong with me, so doing these little things help keep that at bay I guess.

In terms of the TWW, keep yourself busy! Meet friends, read a book, spend time with your family... anything to help take your mind off it for the time being (I wish I could take my own advice).

I really wish you all the best and am sending so much love on such a tough journey 🤍

hi @Frankie2607 sorry for you loss. I also miscarried in November at 12 weeks and on my 2nd cycle. Currently 2dpo. I feel the same i wasnt crazy before the misscarriage but now i feel every twinge, everything is a "symptom" but im goint to really try not to over think this 2ww because previously i started testing early and when my period came i was gutted. It's hard and always find myself logging on here which makes me obsess about even more.

God help us crazy ladies in the 2WW xx

@Frankie2607 I had a MMC exactly the same dates as you in November. I’m on cycle three now and worrying I won’t be pregnant by the May due date. Can’t give you a positive story but maybe some support as I am also turning I to a lunatic. Think my partners had enough of it now as our previous pregnancies were all conceived without trying and now finding that consciously trying is probably hindering us. So yes you are not the only one feeling like this xx

Forgot to say sorry for your loss. It’s just absolutely the worst thing xx

3 months ago , I Lost my twin boys at 29 weeks - one stillborn , we had to take my other son of life support 4 days later. Currently in two week wait as well. Desperate to conceive again and bring some joy back.

I had 2 miscarriages before conceiving my boys. So don't lose hope. My twin pregnancy was perfect- what took my boys unfortunately was a rare identical twin condition that was fast and deadly. Nothing to do with my pregnancy or anything to do with me. So I hold that hope that it will happen again for me.

My point is after my chemical, I was devastated that I'd never have a baby and then I conceived my twins. So don't lose hope.

@Ella31 @Rio93 @miamiamia869 @rosecbrm

Hi ladies. Firstly, I just want to say how sorry I am for everyone’s losses. I hate the fact that so many women have to go through this; it’s just awful 😞

Thank you for all taking the time to reach out and reply. None of my friends knew I was pregnant, so it’s felt a little lonely not having someone to share the burden with. Hubby and family are great, but sometimes you need a friend (hope that makes sense!).

Want to wish all of us the best for our next cycle(s) ♥️ I’ve found comfort knowing I’m not alone, so thank you xxx

Would you tell your friends. I don't think I'd have gotten through my loss if I didn't

@Ella31 I’ve thought about this over and over, as I know they’d be gutted if they found out I was going through this “alone”. At the moment it just feels so raw still and I think, cus of how traumatic the actual miscarriage was, I just can’t go over it all again. I’m very much sticking my head in the sand!! I know that’s really not healthy, but it feels too scary to go back there. But I do plan on telling them when I’m ready 💛

I completely understand, just don't do this alone for too long because talking is key to recovery. I really believe its why I'm standing now after my sons died.

Aoso are you currently trying again? That's so much pressure too. I'm also in the tww now and it's so hard.

@Ella31 Thank you. I know it’s not the right word, but I’m “glad” you found a way to help navigate such an awful time. You sound like an amazing lady!

Yep we’re trying again. I know some couples take a break, but we just didn’t feel that was right for us. The sense of pressure can be overwhelming, but I just don’t know how to eliminate that really. I’m currently 10DPO and already just feel so negative about this cycle. It’s all just a load of💩🤦🏻‍♀️

How are you feeling in this wait? X

I completely agree with you, we didn't wait either and I was fully expecting to be lectured after having an emergency section. I did wait the 6 weeks to let my scar heal but once my obestrician said I was good, we went for it. This is month 2 of trying.

To be honest like you, I've found it hard. I'm symptom spotting and obsessive about getting pregnant but I don't think other people get it. I just want a baby to love and care for. So I'm ignoring the people who think they can tell me it's too soon. This is normal people by the way, not medical. All my gp and midwives are happy for me to go ahead.

Please god you'll get your bpf this week

@Ella31 such a dreadful time you have been through. I can't even imagine how that must feel.

@Frankie2607 I also haven't told any one not even our parents. Just my husband and I know. For no reason just to avoid it all I guess, I can't even explain why we thought about it for a few days but for some reason I just felt more comfortable keeping it to ourselves. Sometimes I have regretted that decision but I do feel it was the right one also.

I am currently 3dpo and already obsessed counting down the days ect. Promised myself I wouldn't be like it this cycle as I hate the heartache when af comes.

I'm 3dpo too. It's going to be a long few days but let's keep the hope going. How are you feeling.

Yes let's hope and pray. I'm okay, just waiting. I really promise myself no testing this time till missed period. All it does is stress me out n consume me for days.

How are you?...january/winter is so boring too so not even much going on to take our minds of it lol.

I'm not too bad. Found the first few weeks of January very tough. But finding a routine again. 4dpo today - had cramps last night, I don't know why but I'm just convinced I'm out this month.

With my pregnancy I had cramps for over a week before period was due. Was convinced it was coming early as had never had that before.

Now my last cycles since mc I've cramped early too and convinced myself was pregnant and gutted when af arrived.

I like you had cramps yesterday and today too, only slight and feel the same as you, like its the same as last month and I'm out.

Just got out for a nice long dog walk as been driving myself mad

@Ella31 @miamiamia869 Hi ladies. Glad you both mentioned about cramping, I thought I was going mad! Convinced myself that I never had these before my miscarriage, so got all excited this cycle thinking we’d caught. CD11 today and my pre-period spotting is getting heavier, so guessing it’s not our month.

Do either of you get pre-period spotting? I’ve had it for as long as I can remember, but wondering if I should push for more investigations on this. The gp always just fobs me off… I know it’s common, but that doesn’t mean it’s normal, right?

Hi ladies. Sorry for everyone's losses. We're also trying again after a traumatic MC on New Year's Day. Every day in January was so long and I put so much pressure on myself to conceive straight away so I didn't have to endure another period. And when that came I was devastated. It's a new month, and my period is finishing and I'm determined to not have another cycle like it. I'm trying to keep busy and be as healthy as I can. I posted about conception on another thread and an amazing woman got back with the following vitamins etc to take so I am trying that too (screenshot attached). I now take all of them every day and hoping it'll help! It's never easy and something I am learning to try to deal with, and to be more patient with myself. We can only do what we can do, and I am trying to trust that my body will conceive once it's ready to xx

I don't get spotting before my period. For your own sanity definitely look further but it very well could just be the start of your period, I've heard loads of women have it.

I'm 4 dpo but really struggling emotionally this week.

@Ella31 sending you a big hug.

I completely broke down yesterday. It sometimes scares me how intense all these emotions can be. Just got to remember that better days are coming 💛 Hope they come soon for you x

Firstly, so sorry for your loss @shohopeful ♥️ Truly awful place to find yourself in.

Such a helpful post re vitamins, thank you! There’s some really supportive women on here.

You’re right, we can only do what we can do. Sending best wishes your way xx

@shohopeful I haven't looked into vitamins yet but something I will do if nothing happens soon, sorry for your loss.

@Frankie2607 yes I'm sure I never had no cramps before Mt pregnsnxy/misscsrriage. Only a day or 2 before period. But it seems since I get them straight after ovulation every day. Our bodies are so strange. Then again we could be susper sensitive to every twinge now but I'm 99.9% sure this never happened before.

I dont get ant spotting before period no x

@miamiamia869 another user posted this on a thread a few days ago and I've bought them all and trying them out. Will keep you posted! Our rainbow babies WILL come! Xx