TTC with known fertility problem

[Rankin11]

I'm in a somewhat unusual situation and I wondered if anyone could relate. I have only TTCed for one cycle, but I have a known fertility issue.

Two years ago, long before TTC I had a laproscopy due to pelvic pain. They were looking for endo but instead found I had had severe PID that went undetected. One tube is wrapped around my ovary (which is clubbed) and there is evidence I had a tubo-ovarian abscess which resolved (I'm not sure if this is a hydrosalpinx? Wasn't called that in the notes). There are adhesions everywhere.

The other tube is visually better with a healthy looking ovary and no twists or anything, but he said there was fill but 'minimal' spill, so could also be affrcted. Other side no fill or spill, unsurprisingly. Consultant told me to try for 6 months then get referred to IVF. Been warned of high ectopic risk.

I was 28 at the time and we decided to wait until I was 30 to TTC. We're now casually trying - no temping or OPKS - to just see what happens. Unsurprisingly the first cycle came to nothing, and I don't know how to feel. The consultant didn't say it was impossible, so I have this tiny bit of hope that will get crushed every period. Obviously each month that goes by when it doesn't work I'll know why, which in some ways I am grateful for as I know so many women, including friends, who are suffering from unexplained fertility issues.

It just feels strange that one cycle in I feel this intense confirmation of my own infertility, where other people might get a few hopeful months before that really sets in... don't know if this makes sense. Just venting I suppose.

To add to this, I conceived by accident at 24, and it is likely the termination I had then led to an infection. So I know my partner and I could conceive at one point.

I also knew I had fertility problems before we started TTC and had been heavily indicated I would need help.

We gave it everything for 6 cycles to prove to ourselves it couldn’t be done naturally so we could throw ourselves in to treatment. I would have always wondered what if otherwise. And lucky we did as I did conceive .

its personal choice but if it was me I would (controversially maybe?) go full on for this 6 months, track cycles, time sex, take supplements. You’ll have better information when you do go for IVF (do you actually ovulate etc.). I personally believe those saying “just relax” “tracking etc just makes you stressed and you won’t get pregnant stressed” are naive of what the chances are like if you have any issues but each to their own.

Best of luck!

@Rankin11 My opinion…which I understand is not for everyone so no upset or offence meant by it. I personally would say until you really “try” ie tracking your cycle then I don’t think this is confirmation of a fertility issue in 1 cycle& you feeling that is you thinking the worst & being irrational (meant in the kindest way) as there is no way of knowing why you didn’t fall pregnant on cycle 1 but if you aren’t tracking ovulation then it is more likely to be that you didn’t get the right days. Even if you were properly trying for 6 months & it didn’t happen it still isn’t confirmed that it’s because of your known issues. A lot of women with no fertility issues try properly for up to a year before falling pregnant & that is normal. I personally think you need to decide if you really want this…which it sounds like you do want to if you are feeling disappointed that it didn’t happen & then properly commit try for it. Otherwise you aren’t even giving body a fair chance before you are just writing it off. If then after 6 months it still hasn’t happened, you know you have given it your best shot before going for more advice. I wish you all the luck in whatever you decide to do. 🍀

Thank you - I think deep down I know you are right! I think I have naively thought that a casual try for a year or so would be easier on me than 6 months of serious trying!

@Rankin11 sometimes it’s just nice to talk about it isn’t it…even if you know in your heart what the right thing for you to do is. I’m part of a really lovely thread on here called “anyone TTC dec 2023…continued” really lovely bunch of ladies that are always on hand for questions & support. We would happily welcome you into the group if you’d like to join us 😊 Good luck in whatever you decide x

Thank you! Will check it out. Good luck to you too.

Thank you - sounds like you're in a similar boat. I think I'll invest in some ovulation strips at least for this month. As you say, it will give me useful information moving forward.