TTC after 18 years - big age gap sibling

[pregnantmum]

I got remarried in October, I have a son from a previous relationship who is now 18, and I am trying to conceive. Am I the only one seeking to have a child after all these years?

Nope not at all! My son is 16 this year 😀
taking us a while though and is an emotional rollercoaster

There’s a 20 year gap between my first and third! Im now trying for a fourth, if successful that would mean a 23 year gap..

Good luck!

Girls, it's truly exciting! I'm happy not to be alone. Can I ask if, in your case, the children have the same father? And do your guys know that you're trying to have another child? Mine is still an only child and perhaps imagines having an asexual mom. It will be a real shock. Honestly, I don't know whether to prepare him beforehand or tell him after I'm pregnant.

Large age gap sibling here. 21 years, same parents, none in middle.

To be honest I'd just wait until you're pregnant to tell him. My sibling was a "happy surprise" and to be honest I was horrified to think my parents were still at it, I probably wouldn't want to think of them trying.

As the sibling you get used to the idea over time. Obviously I'm a proper adult now and mature, so don't feel this way but I remember the worse bit was telling my mates as at the time it was super embarrassing!

18 years on and my sibling is an adult themselves and we have a great relationship, are in touch lots even though we have never lived together because of the age gap.

The other thing to bear in mind is how you might feel physically with your second compared to your first. My mum complained a lot how much harder it was at 39 than 18!

Good luck and fingers crossed for you

Yes, mine were different dads. Had first two before I was 20, and then new relationship in my mid-30s wanted to have a family with new partner.

yeah, one of the hardest parts was preparing my teenage DD for a new baby. I started to slowly introduce the idea in a general sense before I was pregnant to get her used to the thought rather than it being a bombshell when I was pregnant. She did find it challenging, but I tried to make sure she was part of it all and we talked a lot about it. Once baby was born she was delighted and they have an incredible sweet sibling relationship now despite the age gap.

I think important to put the effort in to preparing them for the change, it’s different to a 2/3 year old getting a sibling but it can still be hard, especially if they’ve had you to themselves for most of their lives. A lot of it is about reassuring them your relationship won’t change.

Coincidentally, I also have siblings with large age gap - my youngest sibs are 16 and 18 years younger than me. I adore them!

Yes, I too love my new partner very much, who, by the way, has no children of his own. I can't help but desire to conceive a child together.

My son considers him a second father, but it's clear that he feels a lot of jealousy, and since childhood, he has always rejected the idea of having a little brother from a biological father.

It will undoubtedly be a significant upheaval for him. I'm deeply sorry, but I have made this choice with a lot of reflection, and I hope that, over time, my son can adjust. I will try to approach the situation with sensitivity and love, aiming to strike a balance between respecting his feelings and my decision to build a new family.

I have a 17 year old and 13 year old and I'm 37 ...have a new partner and he's 32 with a 9 year old...we've been ttc 6 months now and getting worried ots not happening..good luck on your ttc journey

By the time my baby is born my eldest will be 14 and my youngest 10 (different dad to this baby).

I'm actually thinking this will be way easier than a toddler and a baby, as that honestly looks exhausting lol. My older kids will be very self sufficient and happy to help on occasion, so happy days 🙂

15 years between me and youngest sibling. We get on pretty well.

I speak to that sibling way more than 2nd youngest sibling, who's only 5 years younger.

...

Me also. First marriage resulted in DD now 20 and DS now 17. Now TTC with partner who has no children I’m also early 40s. Had MC start this month now in TWW. Can test at weekend.

3kids, first husband. Met 2nd husband. Was actually just this morning talking to my oldest DD about this. Second H had no kids. I was 40, him 32. Had miscarriage then second DD at 41. Easiest pregnancy and birth. Kids were 9,13,19, we sat round the dining table told them we were hoping for a baby. A while later youngest DS asked if we were going to have a baby,DH told him we were working on it! Oldest DD was 21, I went through the menopause the following year and she had a baby!

please update this discussion.

Unfortunately a BFN this month