36 and trying for DC3 for 13 months. AF on its way and I’m just so sad

[MrsJaneyLloydFoxe]

Just looking to vent/for a hand hold really.

Must add the obvious caveat that I know I’m so lucky to have two children already. They are the light of my life and I adore them. Have been trying for baby number 3 for over 13 months now with no luck. I ovulate, have regular periods, shorter than average cycles but regular enough (24/25 days). I don’t know why it’s not happening but I’m losing hope. Tests at GP say everything ok (had day 21 bloods).

Period started today and I’m sobbing in the kitchen whilst making dinner. It’s so hard 😢

Sorry to hear about the challenges you've had. Have you considered a private assessment, they tend to be more thorough (based on my anexdotes). Additionally, your partner should have an assessment (if he hasn't already) as he will be one half of the fertility puzzle.

Yes definitely to your partner being tested. I know a couple who had secondary infertility becuase the partners’ sperm count plummeted down to very low levels between having one child and trying for another - the space of about 2.5 years.

Thank you for your replies.
going to go back to GP for another talk I think.

This happened to us. We started trying for a third when our youngest was 18 months. We tried for 2 years and found out it was due to poor sperm quality. Haven’t been able to have one 😞 xx

I had secondary infertility with dc2 and 3. Both times had hospital tests and fell pg waiting for my follow up

I hear you, I'm 18 months in trying for DC2. I second what PP said, make sure your partner gets semen analysis done. Also ask for your 3 day bloods done, and an ultrasound to check your egg reserve and to make sure there are no blockages. I've had all of this done, DP morphology is low which is probably the issue for us.

And yes, whilst you are lucky to have children already, it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt not being able to have more when you desperately want them. Be gentle on yourself, infertility is difficult whatever the circumstances.

I’m sorry to hear this. It took us nearly 4 years to conceive baby 3 and had just accepted that it wouldn’t happen when it did. I’m still not sure why it didn’t happen before that but secondary infertility sucks.

Sorry you're going through this. I don't have kids yet but have been on a rollercoaster already since first TTC with my ex 7-8 years ago. That feeling when your period arrives is the worst. I've been so so down so many months. Definitely get some tests if you can, secondary infertility is a real thing, just because you had kids before doesn't mean that you won't need some assistance for no3. Best of luck to you xx

Edit - sorry just read you had test results! Mine are all normal too, it's so frustrating x

Thank you ladies. My love to all of you, it’s the hardest thing isn’t it.

Here for the handhold @MrsJaneyLloydFoxe I'm sorry you are going through this, the wait is awful. It's very positive that tests came back good (although also frustrating for you I imagine)
We started trying for dc3 in October 2022, so similar timings to you, have fallen pregnant twice but lost it both times, I still have hope (as you do each month before AF arrives) but like you I'm worried is it going to happen, also worried about my age. I had the age gaps etc planned out and we actually waited to ttc for "the right time" which now feels like wasted time. x