Please help with advice for DD

[ThisIsNotARealAvo]

I have found out this evening that DD has has sex with her boyfriend. She is 14 and he is 15. I am quite upset about this as I think she is too young but I also need to know what to do.

She said he used a condom and I believe her but I have doubts as to how careful they actually were. She said it happened in NYE and she finished her period on 23 Dec. It is far too late to take the morning after pill. Should I take her to the doctor? Is there anything they can do? Or do we just wait until she gets her next period and do a test if she doesn't? Should she go on the pill? I really didn't want her to have to think about any of this yet as she seems so young.

Please don't give me a hard time, I am feeling absolutely terrible about all of this and as I have never been pregnant myself (DD is adopted) I don't know anything about pregnancy and conception really. If anyone has any advice about anything I should do next I would really appreciate it.

Assuming she's regular and her period lasts 5/6 days, she'd have been bang on the fertile part of her cycle MAP only works if taken within 72 hours and before ovulating, coil can be inserted within five days.

So way too late to do anything now. Would you trust her to take the pill regularly? Injection may be better. Make an appt with a family planned clinic asap.

Hi,
Firstly, I’m sorry that you’re in this difficult situation and you’re unsure/struggling what to do.

I’d say it’s far too late to take the morning after pill- I know it’s a nerve wracking time with your concerns on if protection was used correctly and the only thing that can ease that is when her period is due. Does she have regular periods? I only say this as it might cause unnecessary worry if she doesn’t come on when expected.

In regards to how to approach this all, I would say that it is an average age that teens have sex (I work in a secondary school and from my own experiences, I base this opinion), and I know my mum also found this tricky when she first found out I was sexually active and when i asked to go in the pill but she supported me and made sure that I understood the consequences of sex both physically and emotionally and how to be sure if it’s something I really wanted.

By being able to have that open dialogue with her about it all there was no shame and I felt no need to sneak around, and me and my mum remain very close (I’m now 28!). I hope this helps in some small way and I wish you all the best when you try your best to navigate this situation. Good luck with it all :)

Thank you both so much. I will take her to a sexual health clinic asap and we will have to hope her period comes as usual in the meantime. I am interested to hear that this is a normal age ti start having sex because she is in Y9 and I do think it's young - when I was at school most people were a bit older but maybe I just didn't know what was going on. And we do have a good relationship, I am pleased she has told me and I want to support her. At least her first time was with a boyfriend she really likes and has been with for a while, and he does seem to care for her. Parenting teenagers is so hard.

@ThisIsNotARealAvo fingers crossed that it comes like clockwork!
It’s amazing that she has come to you and told you, shows what a good relationship you have, like I said about my relationship with my mum sounds like it’s a similar situation and that she will coming to you for support and guidance. I knew quite a few people my age who did not have supportive parents/guardians and they typically were more reckless and tended to sneak around more but that’s just in my experience.

I would say, that now and when I was in school that 14/15 was a very common age, most are getting into there first proper relationships and having their first loves- it was for me. But now that I work with teenagers and I’m TTC I can imagine it’s super tricky as they do seem like babies in the grand scheme of life!