Pregnancy and birth phobia?

[Owler26]

Hello
Really hoping for some replies on this...

I've been preparing my body to start TTC, from now basically! Stopped taking the pill months ago, started folic acid and other vitamins etc. This is all well planned and thought out and we very much want a child.

I have always been quite scared of pregnancy and absolutely horrified at the thought of birth, I think I have a genuine phobia of it? Obviously very few people like giving birth, but we are TTC now and the thought of falling pregnant is knocking me sick.

What is wrong with me?
I'm so scared that if I get that positive pregnancy test that I will freak out. I was hoping that once I am pregnant, I will come to a place of acceptance?
At the moment I feel like I have a choice in it all.

I am hoping that when I see scans of our baby that I will somehow change and start to enjoy it all?

I do flit between feeling like I can do it, of course I can, I come from a long line of women who have done it so why shouldn't I and actually being excited to do it all. Then other days am filled with anxiety about it and something is going to go wrong.

Did anyone else feel like this and find it all okay? And go on to have more after the first?

Hi

Hope this helps

My biggest fear my whole life was childbirth to the point I didn't think I would have children despite wanting them. At 31 I just decided I'd get pregnant and deal with the consequences later ; ie it's too late now I'll have to deal with whatever comes!

Weirdly I actually ended up feeling quite calm about the birth the nearer it got - going to NCT classes really helped and made me see it through a scientific and practical lens and I was open to pain relief etc

When the time came I actually had an un medicated and stress free birth. I had such low expectations of how easy labour would be it was much better in reality!! I think going into it with low expectations helped!

My son is 14 months now and I am due to take a pregnancy test in 2 days. The experience didn't put me off.

I found it helpful to read positive birth stories. We only hear negative ones but in reality more births are "normal" than they are difficult - they're just not the stories people tell!

But when my baby started moving I did have a panic attack and asked my husband if they'd take the baby out early as it freaked me out so much 😂 you get used to it pretty quickly

Probably not many on a forum filled with people TTC.

That said, I certainly had a phobia of getting pregnant again for a long while when my DC was up screaming through the night for days.

I've been reading positive birth stories and that definitely helps me to feel more calm about it but at the same time trying not to think too much about it!

I've also heard hypnobirthing massively recommend, you could start an online course pre pregnancy if you think it will help or leave until pregnant if your worried you might get further put off thinking about it whilst you still have a choice!

I saw my doctor before getting pregnant due to this. I had found there was a midwife in a nearby city who specialised in birth fear. GP organised a referral direct to him. Had an appointment and was able to organise a plan before getting pregnant.

This is unusual but it is possible - there are more specialists out there than there were though I still think it difficult to get referred BEFORE pregnancy. It's more typical after you are pregnant (and there is technically a pathway now).

My point is, that no you really aren't as unusual as you think. It's at the abnormal end of things but is now recognised as a real issue which is treatable with proper support and intervention.

Hi lovely, I was exactly the same. Absolutely petrified of the idea of birth due to some tricky past issues. After being talked into attempting an induction (something I never wanted to do), I ended up having a wonderfully calm planned caesarean and a really positive experience. Please know that this is absolutely your right and is in the NICE clinical guidelines too. I hope this helps. Happy to answer any questions. All the best to you.

Edited to add: sorry if this wasn't relevant as it's the being pregnant that's causing more anxiety. I found being pregnant really magical up until the last few weeks and only because I was so huge and uncomfortable!

If after reading about hypnobirthing, NCT etc you still have that fear I'd definitely recommend asking for more info about a c-section as I read somewhere that it increases the rate of emergency c-section. Planned C-sections are a lot easier on your body/baby etc than emergency ones.
My obstetrician said it's one of the few times she'd recommend C-section over vaginal birth. I asked for one due to a large cyst but was convinced enough it wouldn't be an issue so went for vaginal instead. They gave me the option to speak to a senior midwife to discuss the pros and cons of each if I wanted to.

I was the same before I was pregnant with my son. When I did fall pregnant, I loved it. Seeing the baby on the scans & feeling kicks is the best feeling in the world. The bond is amazing.

Birth I'd fear of the unknown. You can plan down to the last detail, but when the baby decides to come, it can go out the window. My birth plan did. Just go with it. All will work out fine. This is coming from me who had a failed epidural, failed spinal block, only gas & air, 16 hour labour, 2 hours of pushing & finally put to sleep for an emergency c section. It was all worth it & I'm TTC number 2 & will do it all over again

I'd just like to thank you all for your comments.

Reading about hypnobirthing and watching birth videos calms me down and makes it seem really doable. I hate that I'm frightened of something so natural!
I even feel like I'd be judged for getting an epidural, which is ridiculous, I'd never judge anyone for that.

I bought ina mays guide to childbirth and would like to read others if anyone has recommendations