Page 2 | Best age to have a baby?

Bluesprinkles12 · 2023-12-18T23:22:02+00:00

I’m currently 24, in a 6 year long relationship with a good job. We’re unmarried and planning on buying a house next year and I’m currently considering what’s the best age for a child would be. Definitely not something I’m considering in the next year or so but would be great to hear about your experiences and what you consider an ‘ideal’ age to have a baby.

Sarah2891 · 19/12/2023 09:40

I think late 20s is a good age to have them

worrywilma · 19/12/2023 11:40

I'm 36 and trying for my first. Ideally I'd have wanted to be around 30 but circumstances weren't right at that time.

I've been trying for over a year though, so I may have also struggled back then.

MorningsideMaisie · 19/12/2023 23:12

Helpful, evidence based info here: https://www.britishfertilitysociety.org.uk/fei/when-should-you-start-trying-to-get-pregnant/

itismytime · 19/12/2023 23:47

28-38 age range is 'ideal' in my head

AliceS1994 · 20/12/2023 20:22

27 and 29 for me, it completely killed my career for various reasons (specific to me, plenty of others will have a different experience) but otherwise happy with that. I'll be in my late 40's when youngest turns 18 so still time to travel etc. But I felt ready to have my kids and pleased I can enjoy them now, I don't know what the future holds for my health but I hope to be fit and resilient enough to get me through the hectic younger years, but feel like I am also a lot wiser than I was in my early 20's where I would have found it much harder!

RunningAndSinging · 20/12/2023 20:31

I had mine at 27,29 and 34 and definitely found the third pregnancy much more tiring. Fertility and health problems get much more tricky after the age of 35. The parents of the friends of my oldest child are quite significantly older than me so I did feel a little bit out of place socially, but that is not a big reason not to go for it. Definitely do some fun stuff first though as kids curtail travel and other opportunities massively (obviously) but you can do fun family things instead.

JazzyJogger · 20/12/2023 20:48

I would say 26 . You are still young but have got all your pubbing and clubbing done and dusted . But life doesn't always work that way . I planned to have a baby at 26 but because of interest rates going crazy we had to wait until the rates started coming down before we could even consider it . I was 28 .

KEG05 · 20/12/2023 20:51

19, 29 and 32. Pros and cons for both I definitely had more energy at 19 but I was less finance secure than I am now.

BritishDesiGirl · 20/12/2023 20:57

First at 33.5 and second 1 month shy of my 36 birthday.

PurBal · 20/12/2023 21:00

I was 30 and more than one person said “good age”. I agree. Had my second at 32. But I think 30-35

Kiki1703 · 28/04/2024 22:51

Moveoverdarlin · 18/12/2023 23:26

If I had to pick a perfect age, I would say 32 (with a view to having a second at 34.)

But I think I would start trying a year before, so maybe 31.

I had mine at 35 and 38. That’s fine but if I had to choose, I’d like to have been a bit younger.

Why is it that you’d have preferred them younger ?

Kiki1703 · 28/04/2024 22:54

FreshWinterMorning · 18/12/2023 23:40

I would say 28 to 33 is perfect. JMO.

I could never imagine having babies before 28-29, but also, not after 35. I know it's a fairly small-ish window, but that is my opinion.

So 35 would be the eldest you’d go and not 36?

Kiki1703 · 28/04/2024 23:02

RunningAndSinging · 20/12/2023 20:31

I had mine at 27,29 and 34 and definitely found the third pregnancy much more tiring. Fertility and health problems get much more tricky after the age of 35. The parents of the friends of my oldest child are quite significantly older than me so I did feel a little bit out of place socially, but that is not a big reason not to go for it. Definitely do some fun stuff first though as kids curtail travel and other opportunities massively (obviously) but you can do fun family things instead.

Do you mean the pregnancy was more tiring or the baby / child?

heartbrokenof · 28/04/2024 23:05

I was 28 and 32. In some ways wish id started sooner as means Id get to know them longer!

Thepatioisready · 28/04/2024 23:10

Daisies12 · 19/12/2023 09:34

There's pros and cons to all ages. It's what's right for you! Obviously younger it's more likely to happen and you'll likely have more energy. But older perhaps more financial security? if you wait for an ideal time it'll never happen, in my opinion!

Absolutely this.

The best age is when you get pregnant and it feels right. Any age can be the wrong one.

Clingfilm · 28/04/2024 23:21

Between 25 and 30, young enough physically to take it in your stride, more likely to conceive and get your own life back age 45-50 as the kids would have grown up. Just my opinion of course.

Librarybooker · 28/04/2024 23:27

Over 30 and after you have got married

Verbena23 · 28/04/2024 23:28

I had mine in mid to late 30s. I loved my ‘care free’ 20s/ early 30s and was financially stable once we had the kids so I thought I’d nailed it and having them in late 30s was awesome. What I didn’t think about was that by having them later I was making my parents older grandparents. My mum is dying now and my kids are quite little still. My youngest won’t remember her at all and I keep thinking ‘if only I’d had them 5/10yrs earlier’…. I guess there are pros and cons to any age OP…

novocaine4thesoul · 28/04/2024 23:40

Everyone is different, but before 30 is where I would be at. Then either ace your career (easier to have a baby once you are on that higher rung) or ace your lifestyle (easier to have a baby once you have got travelling and enjoying being young out of your system) but not too late if you don't find it so easy going ttc. I had 4, 29, 30, 37 and 39, had I had my choice, I would have had No. 3 and 4 closer to No. 1 and 2, but nature decided otherwise. It is hard to have in mind how many children you want until you have them, but this is also a factor in the longer game. Also, if happens unexpectedly, go with it. x

PrincessOfPreschool · 28/04/2024 23:42

I think it's good to have them young enough so you're not going through menopause when they're teenagers. A bit hard to work out, but haywire hormones in parents and teens is not fun! I would say around 26 if you can.

Charlie2121 · 28/04/2024 23:53

If you want to maximise lifetime earnings then aim for 40.

If you have no family support aim for 40 as you’ll need a decent professional career to fund everything and continue to lead the life you’re used to.

If you’ve got GP support it doesn’t really matter anywhere near as much so ignore the above as logistically and financially you’ll probably be OK at any age.

Personally I feel sorry for people who have children when they are in their 20’s as I know how much I was doing at that age which they will be missing out on. I would have been distraught to have a child that early in life but of course everyone leads their own life the way they want to so I assume others feel very differently to that.

Ultimately you’ll make whatever circumstances you face work for you in the long run which means that the vast majority of people will think replicating their own experiences is the best course of action.