10 DPO, did a test, ruined my day...

[akk]

Promised myself this month (month 12) that I'd just wait for my period to come... or not come.

Every month I test, test, test only to experience the absolute punch to the gut that a negative test brings over and over again.

But here I am again, at 10 DPO, with a stark white negative test.

This month feels so much worse. Last Christmas we said that it would be our final Christmas with out a child or without being at least pregnant. But here we are.

No real point to my post, just wanted to let anyone else in this situation know that you're not alone, even if if feels like it, especially at Christmas.

I'm so sorry :( They do say if you are under 35 and have been trying for a year, that it's time to see a GP about it just to check everything.

The disappointment is heart wrenching.

Thank you for your reply. Yes we have kicked things off with the GP already, it's just very slow going.

I’m so sorry OP. It’s so hard to face the disappointment every month. It seems it’s just easier for some people and harder for others. Feels so unfair.
I am in a very similar boat as you. We have been trying for 3 years. Every Christmas I imagine is this will be the last as just the 2 of us. I was pregnant in January 2023 but sadly ended in miscarriage.

Glad to hear you have started talking to the GP. We have had our fertility appointment, both of our tests came back fine - we are 36 and 38. One out of 3 of my day 21 test was abnormal so I have been given Letrozole to try from CD2 (Christmas day!). Wishing for a Christmas miracle.
I had counselling which helped me and my mind settle as I have been really struggling. I recommend it if you can get some where you live.

Fingers crossed and sending you lots of baby dust. It WILL happen for us, it’s just taking longer, but it will happen. Our babies will be so loved 💖

It is hard, and I do think you should see GP if it's been a year. Unfortunately I do think saying things like this isn't helpful "Last Christmas we said that it would be our final Christmas with out a child or without being at least pregnant." - you have zero control over it. I think it's an unhelpful narrative we're fed that pregnancy is guaranteed. And I saw that having had a miscarriage this year.

@GardenBea thank you for your kind response. I am so sorry for your loss and that you have been stuck in this horrible limbo for so long.

My blood tests also came back normal although my cycles are very irregular. My husband is waiting for his tests.

Thank you for recommending counselling, it's something we will look into.

Wishing you all the baby dust too and best of luck with the letrozole... Assuming my husband's tests come back okay, I think this will be our next steps given my irregular cycles.

Thank you again for your kind message, I was feeling really low when I wrote this post yesterday.

@Daisies12 I think the vast majority of people people go into it expecting to be pregnant within a year and for the vast majority, it works out.

That hope we had at the start is all that has been getting us through to be honest so I'm glad we started out hopeful.

So, so sorry for the loss you experienced.