Struggling emotionally with TTC

[Englishrose35]

Hi,

I'm really struggling with the stress and emotion of TTC. We haven't been trying for long - around 6-months but there are known potential issues which I'm being investigated for (endocervical polyp, PCOS but with regular cycles and possible endometriosis). I'm almost 35.

Each time when I get my period, I cry and spend most of the day in bed in tears. I'm really struggling to cope emotionally every month with the 2 week wait and then my period arriving. I think a lot of it is also hormone related when my progesterone drops - I get awful headaches and become really emotional/ tearful. It is getting worse with every failed month of TTC.

I just wondered if people had any coping strategies or tips?
I really struggle every month. My husband is supportive but each time I just feel like a total failure that it hasn't worked. I know I am putting a lot of pressure on it.

I am seeing a gynaecologist privately about the polyp and possible endometriosis. Planning to see GP as soon as I turn 35 soon to get referred to fertility in the new year and will also explore private options. I know that it can take people up to a year but I just feel abit doomed and overwhelmed.

Thanks for reading and any support

I'm sorry I have no suggestions on how to cope but i just wanted to say I am in exactly the same boat. It's taking over my whole self and today I got a negative at 14dpo so waiting for AF to arrive and have spent the day crying. You aren't alone.

Wishing you baby dust.

@Englishrose35 @rupertbear91 sorry to hear you are struggling. You are not alone in those thoughts. We are TTC after loss earlier this year which happened after a few months of no periods which came with it's own stress!

Feels like it's a constant waiting game, where everything is put on hold and you just get constant crushing disappointment. Everyone tells you not to worry which is impossible! It's understandable and ok to feel this way.

I've found that regular mindfulness helps and I've also been seeing a therapist. Some people have also tried acupuncture which I might give a go too. We might book a crazy holiday as something to look forward to and take the pressure off a bit.

I'm in the same boat trying for my second, I actually had an early miscarriage in august and it's messed up my hormones.

A friend told me they're having another baby the other day and I just felt like such a failure and so deeply sad.

I'm really sorry for you, it's hard isn't it. 6 months isn't that long really. I hope the investigations help you x

@13lucy I had the same thing, no period for 3 months after my loss then they've been irregular now too. It's just horrible when you want something so much.

I’ve been trying on and off and now 3rd month in a row have PCOS my period hasn’t yet come cycle day 61 never had such a late cycle all negative test it’s getting me dow too my periods are between 38-40 now this one but it does make you cry when you get a bfn and I’m starting to feel happy/sad when I see everyone having babies and pregnancy announcements I’m 36 but just go to keep going x

I'm the same but slightly different as trying for my second. I never thought these feelings would all come flooding back. We ended up having ivf to have my son and I hope we don't have to have it again- we can't afford it anyway.
I come on my period today and my mood and energy levels just plummet and I feel so upset with the world.
Your feelings are valid, ttc is hard. We are about to go on to month 8 of trying for a second.
You aren't alone ❤️
And the ones who generally say relax and don't think about it are the people who have conceived in 1-3 months so didn't need to think about it!

It’s really, really hard. it took 18 months with second (but we ended up doing ivf). We are lucky that our first child happened quickly. I can imagine it’s even harder if it’s never happened.
Dont be afraid to seek some counselling. Also I found it helped to make a plan. Like what I would do it two months, three months etc. I know some of it depends on finances, but booking in things like acupuncture or focussing on getting fit and joining a class, things like that. Getting a journal and writing down positives of every day. Knowing every month was one month closer. Have you looked into fertility treatment? I’m assuming gp is doing tests and things? And also talking to people. You’re not alone. It shouldn’t be something to hide.

Also whenever my period came I would try and do something fun. Obviously nice wine and cheese! I think we booked some activities you can’t do when pregnant. Tried to get some weekends away in.

And don’t try not to think about it - accept the feelings. It helps. Mindfulness is good.

6 months is not long…
you are important even if you are TTC with no succes YET

I am exactly the same. Not even been trying that long and I’m not even sure we’re dtd on the right days but each month gets harder and harder to see my period arrive!
if you can help yourself, don’t test before AF is due! I know it’s easier said than done but for me I get such a crushing disappointment and then manage to convince myself that the test was faulty, only to then have to deal with the emotions all over again when AF shows up.
I just wish we had crystal balls to show us babies in the future so we could chill out a bit and let nature takes its course, but it’s the not knowing what the future holds that I really struggle with!

Sorry to hear this. Are you in a position to have some private counselling? I did this after a miscarriage and it was such a big help, and have kept going as we’ve started TTC again. Otherwise acupuncture can be good for stress and also fertility. And keep making plans for your life, don’t just sit around waiting. Do things you want to do yourself and as a couple. 6 months really isn’t long, a year is normal and that’s for couples with no health issues. We’re sold a lie that it’s so easy and immediate to get pregnant (of course is for some!), I think it sets really false expectations.