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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

12 cycles in and still no BFP…

16 replies

kalixxx · 16/12/2023 09:20

Hey everyone,

I’m feeling a bit deflated. Another BFN this morning at 13 DPO which pretty much marks the end of the 12th cycle. I can’t believe we’ve been TTC a year and nothing 😔

We’re 27 and 28, healthy, active.

I’m going to book a GP appointment in the new year. Can anyone tell me what will happen at the appointment? Do I need to take OH with me?

Any stories of people conceiving naturally after a year of trying to give me some hope?

OP posts:
hopingforapeainapod · 16/12/2023 09:45

Hi @kalixxx sorry you’re in the same boat - I’m 30 and December also means we have now been trying for a year with no luck. My experience (although I went privately as I couldn’t bear waiting for 12 months to find out if something was wrong) is that they’ll take a very brief medical history and then run some tests - normally day 3 bloods for hormones like FSH / LH, day 21 bloods for progesterone to check you are ovulating, and a baseline ultrasound scan. They should also get your partner to do a semen analysis, and I would bring him along with you - male factor infertility is just as likely as female factor and it often gets overlooked so don’t assume it’s you! Best of luck with everything x

Original poster
kalixxx · 16/12/2023 09:57

@hopingforapeainapod sorry to hear that you’re in the same boat, I don’t know about you but I never expected it to take this long!

We considered going private but kept saying one more cycle and we will and then suddenly we’re at the 12 month mark. Have you had all your results yet? X

OP posts:
Outliers · 16/12/2023 09:58

I would save your time and have a private assessment, if results pick up anything then take that to your GP.

NHSc will be slow given your (relatively) young age.

Original poster
kalixxx · 16/12/2023 10:00

@Outliers I did wonder if that would be the case.

Maybe we’ll have to bite the bullet and go private 🙁

OP posts:
Daisies12 · 16/12/2023 10:02

I’d go private, NHS will be very slow at your age and if you’re healthy. Basic question but are you using ovulation tests? I didn’t the first few cycles, relied on an app but when I did tests it turns out I ovulated at least 5 days later than the app said

Original poster
kalixxx · 16/12/2023 10:20

@Daisies12 we did at the start, then we wanted to try and take a relaxed approached to stopped.

By a long time does everyone mean it will even take a long time to have tests done? Or to receive treatment if it’s needed?

OP posts:
MrBigsCat · 16/12/2023 10:33

@kalixxx i was 2.5 years ttc my first in mid 20s
was unexplained fertility.
there was no urgency because of my age.
my doc told me it was like rolling a 6 on a dice, some get it first time and some need to keep trying and trying
my second and 3rd took less than 6 months each

Angelselevenx · 16/12/2023 10:35

Hi @kalixxx I think we've crossed on other forums too. I've been to the GP recently and they ran progesterone tests, I've also done the Hertility blood tests and everything came back normal. I had a chemical in April which pushed me to go and get checked, I've been referred to the fertility clinic but there's an 18 month wait for an appointment.

Our local hospital offers semen analysis tests so my other half has recently done that which has also come back normal so it's just a matter of keeping going and trying until we finally get our fertility appointment unless we end up going private as it'll have been a year in February x

hopingforapeainapod · 16/12/2023 10:37

@kalixxx yes everything has come back normal, which is both a blessing and a curse! I also had a Hycosy last week which is a test to check your tubes are open and that was all positive too, so we have been officially diagnosed with unexplained infertility, which isn’t really a diagnosis at all tbh. I have no idea what nhs waiting lists are like but a private fertility MOT is about £500 so I agree may be worth looking into - if there’s anything wrong you can then go to your gp and hopefully get fast tracked…

17nic · 16/12/2023 10:40

Hi OP, exactly the same situation here! It's so frustrating isn't it 😔 we are starting to ask for appts with the GP to check on everything - I would really not want to wait for years for things to happen x

Original poster
kalixxx · 16/12/2023 13:46

@MrBigsCat that’s good to know what it didn’t take as long with your other 2! I would ideally like 3, although I’m only 27 for me to have 3 with 2-3 years in between each I need the first once to hurry up! 😅 Although at this point I’ll be delighted with 1.

@Angelselevenx we definitely have crossed paths before, sorry to see you’re still here on the TTC threads as well! That’s good that everything has come back normal however I can imagine it’s equally frustrating!

Wow 18 months is quite a wait. I know time is on my side at the moment but this last year TTC has felt like 5 😖

@hopingforapeainapod I don’t understand unexplained fertility, I know it’s a common diagnosis but how frustrating to not know what is actually going!

£500 isn’t too bad in the grand scheme of things, I’ve probably spent near that on pregnancy tests and ovulation tests in the last year. I think I’ll look into private in the new year.

@17nic it’s incredibly frustrating. It seems like everyone around me is falling pregnant at the moment as well and of course I am happy for them but it’s like why not me?

Even getting an appointment at my GP is a task in itself so I’m not holding out too much hope!

OP posts:
Angelselevenx · 16/12/2023 13:48

@kalixxx hopefully 2024 is our year! Where abouts are you in your cycle are you atm?

Me too, I'm 29 and 30 early next year so hoping time is still on my side too. The hertility test came back and said I had a high Amh count which is positive but no signs of pcos so I think I just have plenty of eggs 😆 x

charliew87 · 16/12/2023 13:57

Just to give you a bit of hope. I had the same problem, we are both 28, ttc for 13 months went to GP they first took my bloods, results came back normal couldn't see anything etc.. then they asked for my partner to send semen specimen off for them to then refer me to fertility clinic, before had chance to send off partners sample, I got pregnant on cycle 14, unexpected as I'd lost all hope stopped ovulation testing stopped 'planning' sex on the 'good' days, hardly had sex at all that month and it happened! It WILL happen, I understand it's hard I've been there and it's excruciatingly painful every month when you see BFN.. & it used to piss me off people saying 'when you stop trying it'll happen' but honestly put less pressure on yourself! sending you all the good luck 😘xx

4LeafCloverBaby · 16/12/2023 17:13

@kalixxx go private & get a “fertility MOT” costs about £400 but very worth it

Coolcats22 · 18/12/2023 12:32

Hi there,

I’ve never commented on a mumsnet thread before, but this particularly resonates with me. The year is up today with AF today been trying for a full year 😢had a chemical in April too and nothing since! Been chasing that positive line back ever since.

ive been for initial tests and hubby (nhs) and everything looks ok so far. I don’t know whether to be pleased or not as there isn’t anything to look to ‘fix’ per se and therefore remains massively out of our control! Will be referred to a fertility specialist soon.

feel very lost! Extending some mutual support vibes and hopefully some luck for the new year!

Angelselevenx · 18/12/2023 14:47

@Coolcats22 feel like it was me who just wrote your post although our year is in February. Also had a chemical on cycle 2 which was April. Had all the basic checks done and all come back normal. Sending hugs x

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