To wonder why we don't fall pregnant?

[CPHB2021]

Another month on BFN ( 11dpo today and shown at 10/11dpo with all other pregnancies ) and starting to wonder WHY it doesn't work. We DTD everyday for three days across ovulation ( used test strips ) so why hasn't it worked? Genuine question. DH and I have two children but we have been pregnant 4 times. Why, when you do it over ovulation, does it sometimes not work?

Because a big part of conception is chance - which is profoundly out of our control.

Watch this

(Channel 4 the Great Sperm Race if the link doesn't work)

Makes it a bit clearer why it's not easy to fall pregnant.

That is the most interesting video ever! Thank you @endlesscraziness

how old are you?

27. DH is 31. X

Thank you. I'm now looking at my DC thinking 'you really ARE miracles!'

Honestly, just dtd every other day throughout the cycle, don't try to predict exactly when because human bodies are unpredictable! So many people find that once they stop testing they get pregnant

The ovulation strips test to see if your body has given the chemical command to your ovary to grow and release an egg. They do NOT test to see if you actually did grow and release an egg: the only way to check that is through ultrasound scans (or surgery).

So your body may be trying to ovulate, but not actually ovulating, in which case the drug clomid can help.

Even if you are ovulating, the egg may be no good. You released your best eggs when you were around age 14: the body does the best ones first (according to my doctor at London’s top IVF clinic). By the time a woman is in her thirties she’s working with the dregs, to be blunt.

Even if you did ovulate, and the egg was good, it won’t necessarily fertilise: perhaps your tubes have scarring from an infection or are in a tangle that narrows the tubes and the sperm simply can’t reach the egg.

Even if the sperm does get to the egg, it may be shit sperm and the fertilised egg dies before you ever knew it existed.

Even if you did ovulate, and the egg was good, and good sperm manages to reach it and fertilise it, it might not successfully implant into your womb. Perhaps a polyp or scar tissue from a previous pregnancy gets in the way, or perhaps your lining has some other issue.

Get top medical advice asap is my advice to you and don’t listen to the idiots telling you ‘just relax / go on holiday / have acupuncture.’ You have a medical issue, the doctors may or may not be able to identify it and help.

IVF didn’t work for me as my body was simply not willing to grow good eggs or allow them to implant. I sincerely wish you better luck.

I'd look for physical signs you are in your fertile period ( vaginally discharge like egg white) and try and conceive then.
But it is just a game of chance like others have said.
Also could be DH had low sperm count in which case trying too frequently could back fire.
If you don't conceive naturally after nearly a year go to GP.

I have been, I think it's more confusing as we have fallen pregnant 4 times previously and on two occasions we only DTD once in that month. We're a few months into TTC our third child and nothing yet! I know it's not long in the grand scheme of things. Xx

When you say you dtd over the three days you ovulate, does that mean when you get a positive ovulation strip you then dtd for the first time and again for the next two days?

because of this is what you mean, you might be dtd too late! Sperm can live for up to five days and what you really want is sperm they’re waiting and ready before the egg is released.

Some people ovulate as little as 6 - 12 hours after they get a positive ovulation test. Then the egg may only survive another 12 hours. So in theory, after your positive test you could only have a 18 hour window! Meaning you only have a chance to conceive on that one first day and the next two days are too late.

I would highly recommend using the advanced clear blue ovulation tests as they test for two hormones and give you before your standard ovulation test would be positive. The goal is to have sex the days leading up to ovulation.

It’s something like 30% chance per cycle and that’s with couples with no issues. So much of it is chance. There’s so much that has to go right for conception and implantation to happen.

The last day you make ewcm is the day you DTD.
Other stuff doesn't work. Good luck.

His sperm might not be as good. Maybe DTD once on the last day of ewcm.

Turns out, it did work! Tested positive over the weekend! Xx