5th BFP this year…. I feel nothing :(

[CantGetMyHopesUp]

9 DPO and only tested because friends want to meet tomorrow for a mulled wine and Christmas market.

This was with 3rd or 4th wee of the day, no holding, so I feel like it’s a reasonable line but…. This is my 5th BFP this year, have had 4 chemicals in a row and a 6.5w loss in April. I just feel numb.

I am very grateful that I have DC - teens from previous marriage and a toddler with my DH. We have been trying for one more so that they would have a sibling close in age….

Went to recurrent miscarriage clinic yesterday and the doctor looked at me and said “you’re 40, it probably won’t happen, but I’ll run some bloods anyway” and I left in tears. Now I’ve gotten this test just now…

Please send positive sticky vibes, I think I just needed to get this off my chest as I lurk here a lot.

Congratulations!
That sounds really overwhelming and you've been through an awful lot.
I'd try to take it day by day.

I really hope all goes well OP x

Awww hope this is the one for you, you’ve had such a tough year with all of that

Congratulations, that's a lovely line for 9DPO. Wishing you all the best in this pregnancy.

That doctor sounds dreadful. Plenty of people have successful pregnancies at 40 x

Oh OP, that's so shit of that doctor. I've had 2 kids after 40, so for him (and I'm going to take a wild stab in the dark and say it was a man), to say that is a nonsense. Yes it's harder after 40, but to right you off so bluntly is really unprofessional. I'm really hoping this one sticks for you, and if it does, please promise you'll post him this pregnancy test!

what a tough year, I’m so sorry 💔 got everything crossed for you that this is it 🤞🏻

Thank you ladies 💕 It’s been such a lonely road particularly due to lots of shame and guilt about still TTC even though I already have DC. It took me so long to reach out for help and the doctor (a woman!) was so dismissive that it reinforced my feelings of embarrassment.

My journey to being a mum has been so rocky and I’ve had 7+ losses (have lost count now) over the years so I was hoping for at least a little compassion from the doctor.

I will come back and update this thread if things work out (and even if they don’t)

Good luck, and whatever happens I hope you have a magical Christmas with your toddler.

That's a strong line for 9dpo seems like the hcg is high.

Congratulations OP, I really hope this is your sticky bean

It is very hard to feel much other than apprehension, when you've had recurrent losses. I'm not sure the right way to say this, but: you don't have to feel anything, you don't owe it to anyone to feel happy or excited about this. How you feel about it now won't change the outcome, do what you need to do to cope. You can let the excitement start to build as you get further along.

And that doctor is an a-hole!

@CantGetMyHopesUp what @bubballoo said is bang on! including the bit about the doctor…

we’ve seen a few doctors about fertility and find they’re either super clinical when it comes to early loss and “viability” (I had one that didn’t even really recognise chemicals as anything to note, despite a missed period and bfp for a week before bleeding) or really compassionate, there seems to be no middle ground and I’m sorry you got landed with the crap end ♥️

@CantGetMyHopesUp dont feel shame for wanting to expand your beautiful family. Regardless of your age, that’s your right to do what you want to do with your body & your family. That doctor sounds awful & it’s such a shame that you went through that. Send you all the sticky dust possible 🍀🍀🍀

@tryingfortwo2 oh yes this doctor didn’t recognise chemicals either! Once she’d made me run through my whole history she looked at me incredulously and said “so you’ve only actually had one miscarriage this year” as though I was wasting her time. I felt SO bad. I’m usually very good at standing up for myself but I was so gobsmacked I just stared back at her and said something like “not in my opinion, they were all losses”

That's a great line for 9dpo! Your doctor sounds like an absolute arsehole, I'd swop if I could. You might need progesterone or something for your pregnancy, could you ask your GP or pay a doc privately? It would be best to start it ASAP ❤️

Congrats on this line!

I'm really new to all this myself. This is our first cycle TTC and I'm 35. I feel the pressure.

I just wanted to say that my husband's mum was 40 when he - and his twin brother - arrived. They were born the day after her 40th birthday. He and his twin are now two strapping 37 year olds. It might be a bit less likely than in our 20s, but it's not impossible! Take what that dr said with a pinch of salt and be super kind to yourself.

Congratulations! What magical news to have just before Christmas! Fingers crossed for you. Just try to enjoy your Christmas as there is nothing further you can do.

Also, request a new doctor!

Just to update - it’s another loss 😔

5 in a row… an OB/GYN friend of mine thinks that NK cells might be the problem - my immune system attacking the pregnancies. I might look into testing but at this stage I think I’m better off just calling it quits now.

Wishing you ladies a lovely holiday season, full of happy news and BFPs. 💕

Sorry for your loss xx

Oh so sorry OP, massive unmumsnetty hugs to you, please see if you can have a little break over Christmas and think again in the new year. This journey can be so unfair 💕💐

@CantGetMyHopesUp so sorry, sending you lots of love and strength xxx

I'm so sorry OP, thinking of you 💐