Trying for 2 years but have no support network

[annie2485]

I hope i can get some help.
I have been trying to concieve from last 2+ years. We recently married. I alway had regular periods but since last 2 years due to stress and many life changes, my periods are fluctuating and now since july almost stopped. I got only once/twice since july. did my AMH and its less than 0. NHS has delayed things so much. went Private and was told that now i have some ovarian cyst and blockage on a tube. I have been taking Ovum and just now about to start Concieve Plus mens + womens. But my most important trouble now is that my husband does not have any libido. I am 38 and he is 33. I tried taking to him calmly but he just brush it off. For me it wasnt just about baby, it was about regular intimacy too and that has also suddently stoped since we got married. He gets angry at me, frustated and sometimes do not even speak to me. I cry myself to bed and its adding to the stress. I am worried that my eggs are depleting + i have this cyst and blockage and now we dont even have sex ! Can someone please help me to see how can i get this issue fixed? He just avoids the topic and when i speak, he just gets annoyed more or just sleeps.

Hi @annie2485 it sounds like maybe you have a bit of a relationship issue to work on before you think about what else you can do for fertility. Maybe the stress of it all has put your husband off a bit. I’m sorry you’re going through such a tough time. Maybe you could write a letter to your husband as sometimes it’s easier to explain feeling ms when writing it down & also easier for some men to take it in when reading as they aren’t in fight or flight mode.

I’m sorry it’s been so hard for you. It took me many years to finally get my bfp.

My dh was kinda similar. He was fed up, tired and didn’t want to have sex anymore. He wasn’t cheating (before anyone mentions) he just didn’t want to do it. We had a really long and upsetting chat to which he expressed how hard it’s had also been on him. He felt he was letting me down and couldn’t cope with the pressure. He said the monthly ovulation tests, blood tests, pregnancy tests were getting too much for him and that he seen how upset I got every month and he felt that he was causing it. He said the romance and spontaneity had disappeared and sex became a chore rather than for intimacy. It was hard to hear but once I took it all in I understood where he was coming from
because I also felt the intense pressure and worry.

Your dh may be feeling similar to what mine felt but the only way to find out is to chat gently to him. Express how you’re feeling and give him some time and space to think if he doesn’t respond straight away.

I know you’re desperate for a baby, I know the feeling so well myself. It’s hard and all consuming. It seems like the stress of it all has really impacted you.

I think (and I’m sorry to say this) you might need to focus on your health and your marriage just now. See if you and your dh can get some romance back. Try date nights/ days where it’s just time for you two to have some fun and it doesn’t lead to sex. If sex happens great but if it doesn’t then that’s fine because it seems like you two need to remember who you both are and have some fun, take the pressure off.